He just drops by the house without advance notice, rings the door bell and inserts himself just about everyday. I live in NYC and unannounced visits are never appropriate...afterall it could be any crazy. He tries to know our every move, makes friends with our room-mate and even gives her advice about us, takes our dogs out for long walks....even invited himself along on a weekend trip -- and included his newest Ex (I protested that one).
My boyfriend is not willing to do as I ask and tell him to lay off a little, lessen his involvement in our life (or just get one).
What should I do? Should I tell him he's got a tin-ear and that he's behaving like a loser? Or should I just give him a stern boundary, like he can come by only on certain days?
My dog's are where he makes the most remarkable penetration into our household...they respond to him with so much joy it's like he's the master...and I worry that may cause behavior trouble.
I don't suspect sex between he and my bf.
2006-08-09 04:42:42 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
We are 45, 46 and the ex is 45.
2006-08-09 04:55:26 · update #1
Sounds like you should stop dating boys and start dating men instead. Men don't act this way.
2006-08-09 04:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by ~Gate~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stud, you need to stay clear and avoid a personal argument with this individual. What you need to do is talk to your partner and tell him that his ex's behavior is BOTHERING you immensely and that you want him to stop intervening in your lives. At this point, you have done everything you could, and it's up to your partner to set the guy straight (it is, after all, his ex, so he should have no problem confronting him and making himself clear). If your partner cares about your legit feelings (meaning they are not jealous fits, but true reasons), he will make the ex stop stepping into your life.
Have they been separated for a long time? If it's a recent breakup, the ex might just be finding ways to see him since he's not over him yet. If it's been a while, then there should be no more feelings out there. Good luck, stud.
2006-08-09 12:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by Kookoo Bananas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main problem your partner has is that he's obviously afraid of confrontation. Instead of demanding that he address the situation, who don't the two of you address it together? Ask your partner why he is resistant to asking the ex for some breathing room for the two of you and explain to him that you would like to have more time along with him. It is as much your home as it is his, and you are the only who is bothered by the ex's presence - if your partner won't participate in the discussion with the ex then it's up to you to do it. The reason I suggest discussing this with your partner first is so he knows what to expect, which will help you avoid some unexpected fallout.
Contemplate this: How would you feel if your partner were dictating the terms of your friendships? Wouldn't you be a little resistant, too?
2006-08-09 12:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much drama. While this may be a case study on why people shouldn't even TRY to remain friends after a breakup it sounds like you and your current boyfriend just have too much going on in your life. Dogs, another roommate, a weekend away with the ex's ex? Come on.
Read a book, walk your own damn dog, spend some time with each other. If you're going to have a life FILLED with other people, I believe your boyfriend's ex will be one of them. Put down the cell phone, so when he comes to take the dogs, you can be attentive enough to say, "no, I'm taking them." You just have too much stuff going on to control your own life right now.
2006-08-09 12:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are all quite young.
I think having this nuisance around your dogs is the worst thing.
Why are you allowing this to happen?
I say either your b/f respects your wishes, or he's out.
Why do you allow him to treat you that way?
Get this EX out of there!
2006-08-09 11:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have asked yer bf and he will not respect your wishes / feelings on this issue, maybe time to rethink your relationship.
would definitely voice my opinion to other person and tell them to butt out of life as it makes you uncomfortable
really, would rethink relationship
be cool....
2006-08-09 11:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL HOMOSEXUALS will acquire the AIDS VIRUS and suffer a HORRIBLE, SLOW, DEATH! stop YOUR SINNING now, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE, and REPENT so that you will not BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!
2006-08-09 12:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋