im having an affair with a married man,, should i stop it??

Question

im having an affair with a married man.. I really really love him.. but the problem is,, i know he will never give up his family for me as of now,, cause I know he loves his kids.. He told me he loves me too.. Am I bad or what?? should i continue the relationship? but how?? i do love him!! and its so hard for me to do that.. pls.. help.. thanks a lot..

Answer 1

get out NOW. if possible, seek professional help. only people with emotional problems go after, or "fall in love," with unavailable men. not only is he unavailable by law, he is also emotionally unavailable regardless of how much time he spends with you or tells you he loves you. please take his wife and children into consideration. ponder this; what if it was you, your mom, your sister, being cheated on? an affair has so many what if(s) and maybe(s) but it ALWAYS leads to disaster. if he didn't want to be married, he wouldn't be. if you guys were meant to be together then a divorce would be pending, and he wouldn't be using his children as an excuse for staying married. for your own mental health, get out. if you stay, you will soon be questioning more than the affair. if you aren't already, you'll be questioning your desirability, intelligence, and your worth. you are committing adultery, be mature and do what you know you have to. do it for your sanity. if possible, find someone to tell you to back the f*ck off. you need someone to slap some sense into you. wish i was there to do it. HE'S MARRIED!

Answer 2

I'm not going to judge you so quickly like everyone else. Firstly, sometimes you can't help but fall in love with the wrong person. These are out emotions and they can't always be controlled.

Your not a bad person, you've just made poor judgement and a big mistake.

Firstly put yourself in the shoes of your lovers kids. How would you feel if you dad was seeing another lady behind your mothers back? Exactly, not good. And that's what your lover probably sees. He doesn't want to ruin the future for his children. Such a factor can cause lots of trama in a childs life.

Also, you need to know the real intentoins of your relationship. Is it more sexual then loving? Maybe he has family problems and is using you as a source to vent, either sexually or spending time with you get his mind of his relationship at home.

I dont think you would want to be a reason to break up a home even if its already broken. You need to think of doing the right thing. Which is leaving him to deal with his family on his own. You might hurt yourself but you'll be saving other people from pain from your and your loves mistakes.

Just let him know that you love him but you don't deem this relationship appropriate and you don't want to be a person who breaks someones family up. If he loves you more then anything he would be ready to let his wife know and his kids and marry you. But im sure he's not at the point. It can be just a mid life crisis and do you really want to be a pawn in this crisis? When it comes down to it, your just an obstacle to him which he will eventually overcome. Because family is always more important.

So bare future feelings and get out of this relationship. If its meant to be it would have worked itself out. But your causing yourself too much pain. PLUS, they are so many more singles guys out there.......with no kids no past ties....nice eyes, nice biceps, cute butt....great personality. So just be smart and make it simple for yourself. Take the pain now to save your life in the future.

Goodluck girl.
Vote me best answer.

Answer 3

The whole thing is a train wreck. If your going to have an affair with a married man you cannot fall in love. If a love relationship is what your looking for why would you choose someone married ??? Of course you shouldn't continue. Not only because he's married but because you broke the cardinal rule and fell in love. Your never going to get anywhere with him and now you've even given yourself bad karma. Get out now and pay your price. Next time select someone that is single.

Answer 4

Not trying to be mean but your a homerecker,
Stop what your doing he doesn't love you he is just telling you that so you'll please his needs. He has a family how would you like it if you were married to a man who was sleeping with someone behind your back and you had his children? It would hurt wouldn't it? He chose to have his children by her and not ANYONE else for a reason he loves her and wants to have his family with HER. Maybe she has something wrong with her that makes her not be able to keep up with his needs,so he goes else where to have them filled. So that makes you just a quick sex for him. Drop him he is no better than you in his affair, you are both bad and horrible people for putting his WIFE and CHILDREN through this. You can do better than him, you;ll fall in love a thousand times he is just one of the 999.99 to start with. Get yourself real husband material,because if he can cheat on her than he will cheat on You. Once a cheater always a cheater. He will never change but you can Good Luck and Leave him alone

Answer 5

You should not continue having an affair with this married man. He has made it clear to you that he will not leave his family for you and you will end up heart broken. You already say you love him, so I know that your heart is already in this.

He may say he loves you and I'm sure you give him something that is missing in his marriage. But every day, he chooses to stay married and to be there for his kids.

If you continue this relationship, you will continue to feel the stress of it. There will be holidys you have to spend alone, maybe your birthday, and other days. His family will come first. Can you handle that?

I had an affair with a married man and I do believe that he loved me on some level. I loved him like no other and I believe he was the love of my life. We had fun together, talked about getting married and our future, but he chose to go home in the end. He had his family to go back to and I am left alone, trying to mend my broken heart.

Answer 6

To have an affair, or not to have an affair....what do you think? He's married!! Phsh, you might love him, but who did he marry? Not you! And he's not about to break up with his wife and leave his kids either! So give up! How could you be so insensitive to do something as horrible as that!!! If you love him you'd go away! Because if his wife finds out you sure as hell are going to ruin his life and then you'll be screwed cause he'll hate you forever!!

Answer 7

You are bad and you're an abomination on the institution of marriage. No respectable woman with class would ever get involved with a taken man, especially a married one. A respectable woman wouldn't even date someone's "boyfriend".

Karma is a muthafucka, let me tell you and this will come back on you one day. As for your loser of a "boyfriend", he's playing you like a fiddle. How does it feel to go behind his wife and sleep with him. It's disgusting. There is never a justifiable reason for sleeping with a married man. No matter what he tells you, i'm sure he's telling his wife the same thing.

What a catch. I'm sure all women would love a man who cheats on his wife.

Answer 8

Ok, here's the deal.... There is no easy way to figure out what to do with this relationship... period... I want you to consider this in your thinking...

What is his purpose for having an affair for you, is it pure sex... is it fights with his wife... what it is.. If his wife and himself are having problems, and you have at least witnessed these problems for yourself, then it might be pure feelings that he feels for you.

Though, normally he is just saying that he loves you because he wants to get it on with you. which is probably something that his wife does not give him to his satisifaction...

No, you are not necessarily a bad person, just in a bad situation...

Truthfully, I'd be backing out of the relationship and tell him that he needs to get a divorce with his wife because this half relationship isn't fair to him or you... If he is really having problems, then he would want to get a divorce... The kids are not so much an issue as if the parents are having problems, it's better to end the mariage eariler than later... And if you do continue it, it's only a matter of time before both of you get caught with this one...

Answer 9

Geez this is the 2nd one like this! Girl I am going throught the same thing its been about 3 months. At first it didn't bother me...Untill he told me he loved me. He says he is not happy in his marriage and that right now he cant "leave the life he has". Its all bullshit honey. Get out of it before you get hurt. I ended it 2 times and now it's for good. I am hurt, very hurt i feel played and lied to.Your not a bad person you can't help who you fall in love with. I loved mine too and most likely always will. He has shown me the qualities I need in a man. Even if he did leave his wife, what makes you think he'd be faithful to you? he won't. Please get out of this before you end up like me. Married men are just a waiste of time. I wish i could change it i never would have gotten involved with him. Best of luck

Answer 10

You're not bad; your situation is. He's breaking a vow he made to someone else, so everything he tells you has to be weighed against your knowledge of these facts. He's risking his family's security and well-being, and toying with yours too, in the process. He may feel affection for you, but he doesn't love you because he's not free to love you, and he isn't getting himself free (on purpose) to do the things for you that "love" dictates. And he isn't doing them for his wife, as evidenced by the fact that you exist in his life. He's not showing his wife, his kids, or you any respect by living a lie, so what is it you really see in this guy? Everything there is an illusion. And as many a person has discovered, if a person will cheat with you, they'll also cheat ON you.There's no prize in this game even remotely worth having. Use your capacity for love on someone worth while. Throw this one back...it's not yours to have anyway. Good luck to you.