and not get involved again? My husband is a partner at an investment firm. He had a 3 month affair with another partner. Of course he had to move out. He wants to get back together. I am willing to forgive him. This is real life, not TV.
He says that he has broken off the affair, that it was a stupid mid-life crisis, and wants to come home. Should I let him? ( Of course I would be more of a siren when he returns. He has to make up for lost time. Ha!) Anyway, the true question for you guys is can you still work with a woman everyday that you broke off an affair with and not get involved again? My sister says that men have "great capacity for such coldness" so I shouldn't make him give up his partnership. Tell me, guys. Thanks.
2006-08-09 03:37:25 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, sorry baby girl. if the break is on a good term, they'll get back together. even a slight discomort from home, he'll get his fixed.
2006-08-09 03:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I know you said men only, but I have an answer I want to get off my chest. NO! It's not about him anymore. He lost his chance to make a decision to work there once he had the affair. Now the question is do you want him to work there anymore, and if the answer is no then don't let him and if he really loves and respects you he'll find somewhere else to work. It's not because you don't want him to work there because the truth is you probably do because it's a good job and he makes good money, but he needs to think about your feelings right now. If he honestly still wants to be with you and fix the marriage then his first move should be to quit because you'll never be comfortable with him going there and he'll get annoyed with you calling him to check up on him every five minutes. Bottom line if you're trying to fix it then him still working there will definitely put a strain on your relationship, and it will probably end up in divorce. Good Luck!
2006-08-09 04:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by grayk51 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will advice you to forgive ur husband, as u rightly said it real life and not TV. SUch things happen in life. But if ur husband has confessed it to you and assured u that he will not indulge it in again then u should give him a chance. We all do mistakes in life, u c. and nobody is perfect in this world. May be this could have happened with you also.
As far as ur question "can u still work with .........." I think yes u can work because once bitten is twice shy. A mature man will never repeate a mistake again and specially when ur in a marriage.
Cheers
2006-08-17 00:29:13 · answer #3 · answered by rd123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also know you said men only but I'm a rulebreaker, AND, I've gone through this situation... kind of. But here's my mind set.
Think about yourself in the room with the best lover you've ever had.
Just the two of you.
What would you do?
Of course, then again, maybe you trust your hubby enough to not do anything. But, listen to me.
Make him pay.
Make him take you out on dates, etc, before he moves back in. Make sure you fall back in love with him, and let all be forgiven.
Basically, start over. You can even redo the wedding.
I know it's not TV, but you deserve RESPECT. Go out and have an affair yourself, but DON'T THINK YOU COULDN'T FIND BETTER BECAUSE YOU CAN!
Love,
Livi
2006-08-09 05:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might not start sleeping with her right away but eventually he will after he slides back into your life again. If you had any sense you would tell him that he has to find a job elsewhere before you let him back in. Partnership or no partnership. But then again, once a cheater always a cheater. I think you're screwed no matter what if you stay with him. Just my opinion, and I'm a man.
2006-08-09 03:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by gozedown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the your husband felt best of the feelings with the other women, its not possible to have a break up as one need no reason to end a arelationship when one feels good from within especially when the relationship has been built at matured age like this..
2006-08-16 20:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by m_cyberfriend 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would only let him move back in under certain conditions. First I would make him go and get tested for STDs, go ahead and make him realize that you don't want to be exposed to what ever that chick had! Make sure that you request to see the lab results also. Even if he did use protection, you never know for sure. Then he needs to find another job. I would not want him anywhere near that girl. You don't know what she will do no matter how your husband resists her. Girls are very sneaky, conniving and will do what ever it takes to get what they want. Thirdly he needs to be down on his hands and knees when he walks through that door!
2006-08-09 03:44:37 · answer #7 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you said for MEN only but.......Just can't resist.....
ARE U OUT OF YOUR MIND??????
This dude wants his cake and eat it too....you're saying you want to give him a chance to come and lick the frosting but aren't sure if you're ready to do that over again.
Once a liar and a cheater always a liar and a cheater. If you let this dude back into your life....you're asking for him to do a repeat over, and over and over again.
Wife cheaters are like Wife Beaters....they all say, " i'm sorry honey, I won't ever do it again'!!
I would say, RUN FOREST RUN.....
find someone who hasn't the history and the baggage!!!! Life is to short to let it pass your by. Don't believe the LIES ....promises of false hope that this old flame spews out of his mouth!!!
2006-08-17 00:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him, but keep the business business and make sure your protected and move on in life.
I know a couple that started a business together and they divrced and she is his secretary and they get along fine even though they are divrced now, they were mature enough to understand what they have and what to do and how to handle it professionally.
2006-08-13 13:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister has a point, but not all men r like that. u know him better than anyone else u talk to so i say if he has done it once then he might do it again. he might not. if u really believe him go for it ( especially if there r kids involved ) BUT only if you can not throw it in his face or always hold it over his shoulder. good luck.
2006-08-17 02:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I am a very horny person that tries to resist temptation. If a co-worker repeatedly came on to me, or gave me an open door at first sign of rejection at home I would be on that co-worker like a rabbitt in heat.
2006-08-15 10:56:57 · answer #11 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋