i'm a male.... but i move and talk like a gay...what can i do...my male classmates always teasing me..?

Question

this is the way i grow... with all female around me...i know i'm a male but moves like a gay.... but attracted to women.... but my interest according to music, style, etc.. is mostly feminine.... how can i change my charater in the eyes of the person around me... it gets me annoyed when other guys tease me i'm a gay... what should do?

Answer 1

First, I think it's good advice to accept yourself where you are at.

If you feel uncomfortable being perceived as gay, however, I also think it's perfectly valid for you to work at creating the image you desire (and that more accurately reflects the "you" you know inside) in other people's eyes.

[People normally do this all the time, in more subtle ways -- by what we wear, how we style ourselves, the way we talk, our pasttimes, etc. Sometimes people even get cosmetic surgery nowadays and see that as acceptable. Your case is of the same type.]

Anyway, make this change because you want to, not by peer pressure.

You grew up around females. That's fine -- you naturally learned to interrelate with people (how to move, how to talk, etc.) the way females interrelate. So some of that is learned behavior. This also suggests you can "learn" how to project yourself in a more traditionally male way.

As far as "changing your interests" goes, though, some of them are fixed. You might act “feminine” partly because of your past environment, but also because of your personality and nature. You could easily just be a "sensitive" guy who has some more traditionally female interpersonal styles, which made it even easier for you to communicate with women and emulate them. I have met men who are like that; it’s no biggie, if you are okay with it, and it’s valid to work to change it if you want.

Anyway, there ARE self-perceived men out there who get less of a kick out of sports, team activities, constantly jockeying for position. They are more empathetic towards other people by nature, they enjoy more aesthetic pursuits, they are into style and fashion and whatnot. (They don't have to be gay, unlike the typical media portrayal nowadays.)

If you do want to change the outer behaviors, find a few guys you can trust, or who empathize with you, and spend time with them. Compare how they talk and what they do with the women you've spent time with, and try to emulate the guys more. It'll feel clumsy at first, which is why you need guys who won't make fun of you and your first attempts.

Especially, if you can, find an older man (“mentor”) who can encourage you and provide a role model of what “being a man” in a mature fashion might look like. You hint that you might not have a strong male role model in your life; I think if you can find one, that will not just help your portrayal of yourself but will help you grow and become more confident.

Said broadly, I think a lot of "maleness" comes from a joy of using one's strength and being able to get bruised up and not be bothered by it. (This is why men are constantly "sparring" btw, and are into sports and other "competitive" activities -- the competition is impersonal to them, most boys -> men enjoy testing themselves against someone else and seeing how they measure up.) Females tend to interrelate more and "work together" rather than testing themselves against each other that way, and also treat things more personally and thus usually avoid overt conflict. This comes out in how the genders behave.

So I think if you can embrace that it's okay to get knocked around a bit in the process of living and still move with confidence/boldness that you have what it takes to be male, that will transfer into your portrayal of yourself.

Just remember: Ultimately, you're not trying to emulate a cliche; you are just trying to find "your" way of expressing your masculinity.

Answer 2

First of all, get your mind set-up transformed. You realise that you are a male as you are attracted towards females. Forget that you seemed to be gay. Change the subjects of your thinking from sex to philosophy, sociology, sports, religion, nature-study etc. Gradually you would start feeling that you are a perfect male but not a gay. Transformation lies in you. You are the architect of your own future. Good luck!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Hang around masculine types and mimic them and soon enough you'll take on their characteristics while still being the individual that you are. Your mind has to be retrained to think and act along masculine lines and the only way to do this is to hang out in places where the men congregate.

Join a gym and work out and observe how the guys act around each other.

Answer 5

Depends how old you are. Being a teenager in this situation is really hard. Just tell people you're a metro sexual. Woman like gay men. You have the best of both worlds. You seem gay but want women.

Answer 6

I know some of what you are going through.. one of my friends in school was like that ..I always made sure I was around him as much as I could to help..He was in Drama class so that helped him that way He now Is doing theater in New York... Still straight ,just loves dressing and acting ....Last I heard He had a girl that was bisexual.. and they are living quite confrontably together.... To each their own...

Answer 7

does it really matter what they say....... be proud of what u are man!!!! people tease when they have their own insecurities to hide. if they treat you bad then probably you are with the wrong group of people.... they dont deserve you...u are far better. how many times would you change for people who dont mean any thing in ur life. today under pressure u are changing ur habbits.....tommrow u might change even more imoprtant things that are dear to you. do what YOU want to do....that all that matter. be happy. and if those guyz still trouble you, call me ...we will fix them together..;)

Answer 8

try joining a typical male sport and hanging around the guys a whole lot more.. copy them and the way they move, and just stop acting like a girl

Answer 9

Start a workout program & bulk up.
Listen to your male buds & copy their slang, their swagger.
Hang out with the football team.

But mostly just stop worrying about it. Be yourself. You are who you are and you know who you are and they don't.

Answer 10

Unfortunately there are a lot of stupid people in the world.

I would say just be yourself, but that could end up getting you killed depending on where you live.

Try to "butch" up then... Hope that helps.