Am i wrong in refusing to move again with my fiance?

Question

ive moved 3 times in a little over a year..following where ever his job took him...now once again,after living in our apartment 3 months..hes found something better. I am 6 months pregnant...and I love the school my daughter is in. we have 2 cats 2 dogs and pay next to nothing for our 3 bedroom.with a huge yard.....why the hell cant he work at a job other than what he went to school for..i refused to move again. I dont want to give up my animals because of a move AGAIN.ive lost a chihuahua and a west highland from moving....

i love this small quiet town..the job he's after would meen moving to the city..

Answer 1

People have to move due to work all the time. If he has the type of job that requires him to move alot you should have thought about that prior to getting pregnant by him. You call yourself a fiance, yet you are not supporting your man, and the wedding hasn't even happened yet.
All you are worried about is your pets? You have NO IDEA what marriage is about.

Answer 2

Children need stability! Schooling is very important and changing school all the time is not good. Why can't he find another job in the same town? How far is the new job? Can he commute? A lot of people do it everyday. Or is it possible for you to stay where you are and he get a small place for the work week? I don't want to tell you leave him because I know how strong love is but you children should be first! Hope all works for you! When is the wedding?

Answer 3

If the new job is not too far, he should consider commuting. You have compromised with him far enough and it's time you stand for yourself and your family and find stable grounds. I know what you mean. Moving into the quiet country from the city was the best move we ever made. He would try to bring up buying a house back in the city but I stand my ground when I tell him, NO WAY! We're at home right here. Just talk to him and let him know how you feel. Tell him you love him very much and that you've considered him and stood by his side in his past choices to move and then tell him that it is time for him to consider you in your choice to stay. Tell him that you are not gonna beg, but to just please think about it because it is important to you.

I hope all goes well for you, I really do.....Debbie

Answer 4

Tough tough tough when the will and decisions of another affect your life. Understandaly you are tired. He is in the driver seat and you are in the back seat being towed around. Well done ! for having move 3 times.

But Can you give him another chance if he really insist ? Ask him what if the next place is not as good as this one you must have found to be ideal. What is his plan B ? Afterall it takes 2 person to clap. And get him to agree that "good or bad" thats it, the final destination if you agree to move. And most of all what is your little reward for all this !

Answer 5

I feel for you, my hubby's juob is about to move us clear across the country, I am not a big fan of it, and debate going everyday.. Partly because things are already rocky.. we will live there for a short period of time and then be relocated again. I as well love the school that my daughter is in, and HATE the thought of pulling her and making her move, not to metion all the people taht say she is a child, she will get over it. Give me a break, children are people and they have feelings too. Tell your man h ow you feel and go from there., my husband knows that I do not want to move and we are trying to figure soemthing out, but it is not really working. Good luck, jsut keep your lines of communication open....

Answer 6

From your question, I was able to put together some facts as follows: you have a daughter in school. You are six months pregnant. You have moved 3 times in less than a year. He is your fiance'. I have more questions before I can answer yours. Are both the children his? Is marriage in your plans? Are you able to work? If you stayed where you are at could you fend for yourself?

Answer 7

You and your husband have to talk about this. Present the pros of where you are now and explain that the children as well as your "soon-to-be" marriage needs STABILITY. You are in a delicate stage, being that you are pregnant. You need to take care of yourself as well as that baby and he has to work as a "team" because that is what marriage is about. You are now ONE not two, so the choices that either of you make have to be positive and good for the WHOLE family, not just HIM or his wallet. And why is it that he's jumping from job to job??? How old is he??? I hope you're able to convince him, or at least have him meet you half way.

Answer 8

Sounds like you guys need a real heart-to-heart discussion. I would not give up my dog for anyone. On the other hand, I can understand a guy wanting to get a job in his desired field if it means he does what he loves and can better support his family. Not an easy decision. Good luck.

Answer 9

This guy sounds like quite a flake. You and your kids need some stability in your life, and it sounds like this guy isn't willing to provide it.

I'm very happy to hear you refer to him as finance and not husband. That means there's still time to change your mind. Honestly, think long and hard about what life with him might be like. It's bad enough for someone with responsibilities to jump from job to job, but when the jump requires moving as well, it is a serious disruption to your life.

If he's willing to keep looking for the next job that looks better, can he make a commitment to you?

Answer 10

I think if this job he's seeking really is a better position then you guys should move. However, I think he needs to settle in a place. Your children need a stable home and you guys are not able to provide this if you're moving every 3 months.