beautiful, genuine, lovely is he
who walks in the moonlight
under the stars with me
stroking my hair
singing a song
making all right
that once was wrong
will he remember the night
we laid in the grass
dreaming about the future
and sharing our past
knowing eachother
on the cold earth so bare
the fresh smell of spring
in the brisk night air....
I could never forget
the way he looked at me
happy , content
and lovingly
some day I'll look that way too
when he comes back to me
I'll look in his eyes
Happy ,content ,and lovingly...
2006-08-09 01:50:33 · 12 answers · asked by minx 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Very nice,but where did he go??Away to war?You left us wanting more,but in all this was great and heartfelt.Good luck God bless:O)
2006-08-09 03:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nicely written. Your poem evokes visual imagery and has great fluidity. Keep up the great writing.
2006-08-09 09:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a lot to bare your soul. I should know I am a writer. So all I can say is keep writing and enjoy it.
Take care
2006-08-09 09:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by 40andgoing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your other poem and submitted a comment--- but this one?
...it almost made me cry. OK, I'm crying.
God keep your man in his hand and bring him home safe to you.
he is a very loved and lucky person, (and I'm sure he knows it.)
pray for him. he is a brave man.
2006-08-09 09:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by drgn grl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Very Nice.
2006-08-09 09:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by Ycul72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
nice work i must say. by the way i too write poems. the romantic ones. you love somebody????? (if yes)i wish and hope the two of you be together always.
noddy
2006-08-09 09:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by .:NoDdY:. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wonderful :)
i congratulate you for your great feeling towards that guy and hope he deserves all of this, also i wish you both luck from my deep heart.
2006-08-09 09:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok, but it just doesn't seem to flow....some of your sentances have too many words in to flow witht he sentance after!
2006-08-09 09:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didn't like the repetition of "Happy ,content ,and lovingly."
2006-08-09 09:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by still breathing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulation , it is really wonderful expressions.
2006-08-09 08:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋