Help!!! Why is my baby throwing tantrums?

Question

I have a 10 month old daughter and she just started being really, really stubborn. She gets really upset if you take something away from her or if you move her from where she was playing. And changing diapers is getting more and more difficult. Why did she start doing this and what is the best way to deal with it? I thought that I should try to ignore the bad bahavior and find something that she enjoys to distract her from her from whatever it is that's bothering her and also to make sure that when she is playing nice to praise her. I just don't know if it's working. Help!!!!

Answer 1

You have good ideas for how to help your baby. You're on the right track. When we were kids, parents were supposed to create kids who never did anything wrong. Now we know we are to help shape these little beings to they can function in society, have empathy for others, and feel good enough about themelves that they can reach their behavior.

So, in keeping with your ideas about distractin gher and praising her (lots of controversy about praise - we want kids to do things because the thing is right or good for them not because it gets them praise - i'd say just attention, a moment or two with her when she's playing as you like. the attention itself is what reinforces behavior - so negative attention reinforces behavior - in keeping with your idea of ignoring what you don't like. !

Remeber, this is not "BAD" behavior. She is a little being, only newly realizing she is separate from you and everything else in the world Now, she has to learn to negotiate her way through this world.

She needs to know lots, she needs to be confident, she needs to trust her abilities and ideas, she needs to be attached to people, she needs to know how to keep her emotions in check so that she doesn't hurt her own plans and relationships. It helps, I think, to keep in mind that we are not just trying to manage our children, they are not things to entertain their parents, give them strokes, and then go sit quietly somewhere.

So, with that frame of mind - First, whenever you can give her notice when you are goin to shift her attention from what she was playing with or an activity she is doing. If you have to move her for safety, explain that - use the word Danger and look very concerned. Explain the danger, tho she won't get it right away, your use of complex sentences with her will help her mind so much.

If you're taking away a toy she likes and another doesn't distract her - gee - i'm just imagining how i'd feel if i was playing Bookworm and someone came up and just turned it off. I'd be pretty upset. hmmmm Maybe sometimes people are upset. Yep, i think so. So, you tell her you understand and comfort her and then give her a few moments to get herself together. As she gets older, stay vigilent that you are not allowing her to abuse people with expressing her emotions (like whining past age 4 on an entire walk she didn't want to go on.)

As she gets older, you'll still need to help with transitions - you'll do this at playgrounds and outings with with friends - "we're leaving in 15 minutes." and then, "We're leaving in 10 minutes." and then "We're leaving in 5 minutes." and then "Okay, we are leaving now." Then, you pick her up and go.

When she cries and otherwise expresses her unhappines or frustration, you don't want to shut her down, you want her to feel heard, understood - so she can understand herself. YOu can do this when you have no time for warning that somethings going to change. (She may be one of those kids who is very sensitive to change and needs lots of notice and comfort.)

SO, you say when she's upset, "Oh, I know it's hard to leave that ______. You were really having a good time. " Usually,it helps to wave bye to an activity.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Remember, she needs you to guide her and she's not bad. Oh, those diaper struggles - yikes. I think my oldest trained me so well that I could keep the diaper off of him most of the time, which he liked, and then get it on when it was going to be needed. That helped a lot. Until we got to that point, I remember having to pin him down and it was very upsetting for me and he would protest mightily, and then it would be over.

Big thing with kids - don't take their emotions personally. they won't see you as an individual with your own needs for quite some time. a parent must detach from a temper tantrum, see it developmentally, see the guidance the child needs in the situation. if the parent gets upset too, what do they have to teach the child about coping with emotions?

Answer 2

If you need to take something away from her......try making a trade with something she CAN have.

Or try holding your hand out and smiling and saying "thank you!" in a very pleased voice as though she intended to give it to you all the time. Little children LOVE to please adults and will usually go along with this!

Don't just take her away from something/somewhere that she is playing. Help her "say bye-bye" to what she was doing first or distract her with another toy or something instead of just picking her up and taking her away from it.

Change diapers on the floor or the bed at this age. It's too hard to get them to hold still on a changing table. You can also change wet ones with her standing up.

Answer 3

Im Not much of a Mother. Im Actually 14.

But I have had a Baby Brother an Took care of Him once in a while
After him I had a Baby Sister. Whoo Is still a baby.

Just dont let your baby Walk over you. The good thing is that

your getting what need to be done, done.

Of course Most babys Get Fussy An want everything there

way. You gotta Understand its a

baby. it doesnt know any better.

She will eventually get over that stage.

With Most babys, you have to like Distract them When your like changing

them showering them. ect.

Its normal.

Good Luck =]

Answer 4

Ah, yes.... I remember...
10 months is a little young for tantrums but it happens. DO not reward this behavior! Praise her when she's playing nicely. hold her alot. Understand that a diaper change is a real interruption. She sounds as if she's very focused and independent. That's a good thing (when she's grown). Talk to her about what you're doing when you move her or change her. She can't talk yet but she understands about 1000 words. Stay calm and do what you need to do for her. this too shall pass.

Answer 5

Stubborn is the word, obviously she is a strong-willed child. You are the mom and the one in charge. Keep praising her good behaviour and ignoring the bad--unless it is something you can't ignore like her hurting someone! Usually you don't go thru this until they reach the terrible twos, but every child is different! Good luck. I'm sure she is special and bright. She knows what she wants at 10 months. Amazing!

Answer 6

Keep using that method and have lots of patience. It will most likely take several months to change her tantrums. It is still too early to punish her, she isn't old enough yet to understand the difference between right and wrong. Once she has reached that age, usually close to 2 years old, she will be responsive to punishement. Until then you must use distraction and encouragement, with a heaping tablespoon of patience.

Answer 7

If this is a sudden change, and it is prevailing for the larger part of her day, I would wonder if she wasn't suffering from some kind of physical discomfort, of which you are unaware. Possibly an inner ear infection or teething. That will make a baby cranky, for sure.

Try taking her for a check-up. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

I'm not sure how do you say it in English, but in my country they call it "measuring the strength". She's putting you through the test. And if she feels that you're weaker than she is (your will, I mean) - you'll be in trouble.
So be patient, but firm, and she'll eventually learn that it can't always be her way, that some things just have to be done.

Answer 9

My daughter started that at 8 months... she started walking then too and what a handful... she is testing you and her grounds... just be firm and consistant... believe me it doesn't get any better.... mine was very strong willed and she grew up to be that way... she is 23 and expecting her 1st baby and I can't wait till she get's it back 10 fold.... hahahahahahah.......

Answer 10

she is at the point where she is starting to voice her opinion or dislikes . redirection is a great way to get her attention on something else . it may take a while so be patient . nothing works overnight .