what do you call a man who says " i wouldn't hit you because i wouldn't want to go to jail"?

Question

this is what my husband says to me about why he wouldn't be abusive to me

Answer 1

What do you call him? I don't know other than if this is the only reason he gives then I'd say the marriage is shaky...at best. Funny how he didn't say "Because I love, respect and honor you".

Answer 2

Words can be even more abusive than being hit. Your husband's attitude is a real spirit crusher. . .and over time, your inner scars
will be just as hurtful as visible scars. I would suggest going to a professional counselor while you still have some self-esteem,
and learn why you allowed this jerk into your life in the first place.
It's pretty obvious, he doesn't like you. Don't let his attitude influence how you see yourself. If you can't develop a long list
of reasons why you deserve respect, a professional counselor could help!

Answer 3

Depends how he says it, if its a joke then its poor humour. If he's serious then it could probably count as a form of mental abuse because you believe it's possible under some condition that your husband could hit you.

How would he react if you said something equally as cruel like, I would laugh at your face but I try to be kind to the underdeveloped.
I suggest you dont actually say that as he might flip.

All the daytime shows say that people will only treat you in a way you allow then to treat you. In other words if you dont like what he says to you tell him to stop, if he carries on leave him, because people deserve to be treated better.

Answer 4

I would call him a thing of the past. I was married for 15 years to my first husband. I tried EVERYTHING to just get along with him. Then I kept it together for our 3 sons. We fought almost every day of that entire 15 years and he would do almost the same thing to me. He would raise his fist and then growl and say I wasn't worth it... meaning he wasn't going to jail for me. My nervous system was destroyed, my sons grew up in total chaos.
Please, get away from him as quickly as you can.
That is emotional and verbal abuse. I was too naive to see and acknowledge the "red flags"... you can still save yourself.
Now, I'm married to the sweetest man on the planet! He would NEVER think of saying something so awful to me. Instead of being called a ***** every day, he calls me his "lovely little wife".
I wish you the best of luck. *hugs*

Answer 5

Do you ask him if he would abuse you or does he just say this when he's angry. If he says it when he's angry, it could be verbal abuse. But, if you're asking him, then there's three ways this could be interpreted---
1. He really cares about you
2. He still cares about you, but if he didn't end up going to jail, he would hurt you.
3. The only thing stopping him from hurting you is Jail.

Tone is key, make sure you notice his tone when he says this.

If you're asking him... Stop asking if you don't like his answer!

Answer 6

I would say he is an Emotional Abuser. Words can hurt more and the wounds may never heal.

Answer 7

"why he says he wouldn't be abusive to me" ???......this IS abuse, simply
because his comments are a veiled threat.
He WOULD hit you if he could get away with it !
My guess is
he is probably verbally abusive to you.
No abuse is tolerable! Life is too short for such crap.

Answer 8

I'd call him a man who is trying to work out how he can get away with it.

Answer 9

Scary....one day he will be mad enough not to care if he goes to jail, or he will just kill you and try to get away with it rather than go to jail.

Answer 10

Someone who needs anger management counselling. He shouldn't want to hit you under any circumstances.