I am scared to death, someone help?

Question

Ok, so here is my story: 21 months ago, I gave birth (vaginally) to a beatiful boy. He weighed 8 lbs, 5 oz. I am a small woman (125 before I got pregnant). I am 30 wks pregnant with my second child. A girl this time. When I gave birth, I tore very badly to the front. The doctors did not repair me right, and I am still in pain. I basically have no inner labia left on my right side. What I do have is connected to my clitoris in a way that when I have sex, it pulls on the clitoris, causing pain. I also tore to the back, but not all the way through, so they did not stitch me up back there, causing more pain. I may have the option of a C-section this time around. I am afraid of both. What do I do? (Yes, this is my last baby)

Yes, it is a different doctor, and a lawsuit is already in motion. I have spoken to a surgeon about repair, and there's not much they can do, except get rid of a loop of skin. Still will not have an inner right labia.

Answer 1

Take the C-Section. After you have the C-section your response will be that wasn't so bad, I'll think about that 3rd child now. I had 3 C-sections (all emergencies - I never made it to the date they had set for the 2nd two) and the first I was in labor for over 34 hours and then the baby and I were in distress and they had to do the c-section. With my second child I refused to v-back (I didn't want a repeat performance). It took me less time to get back to normal and I bonded better with baby #2 than with #1 (I was so tired for 4 weeks that I wanted to sleep a lot and my husband did more with her than babies 2 and 3). It is still your choice but if my first experience was yours then I wouldn't want another vaginal delivery.

Answer 2

First off.....
PLEASE tell me you have a different caregiver this time around!

AND THEN.....
Go SUE the guy who didn't put you back together correctly after your first birth. Seriously, you need a lawyer sweetie. It is NOT RIGHT that he didn't even try to repair you. Ask around and find someone who can help you repair the damage that your old caregiver left you with.

THEN.....
You need to find a new caregiver (if you haven't yet) who you can sit down and talk through these issues with. If you are terrified of labor (which I could clearly understand after what happened last time!) then you need to work through these fears or a vaginal birth will be really hard for you. I would ask if there are any increased risks for a vaginal birth in your situation due to the damage to your body last time.

Know that small women CAN birth babies that size! I weighed LESS than 100 lbs before I got PG all three times. My babies were 7 lbs 13 oz, 7 lbs 7 oz and 8 lbs even. I had three unmedicated births and only tore with my first one and it was only a 2nd degree tear.

Were you allowed to move around and change positions when pushing? What position did you push in? Flat on your back is the WORST position for birthing a baby and increases your chances of tearing. Squatting is a GREAT position and opens you up wider. Waterbirth is also a GREAT option as it relaxes you, helps you stretch from the warm water and is a gentle transition for baby to the world.

If you decide to try for a vaginal birth, get a copy of the book "Birthing From Within" by England. It will help you deal with your fears and any emotional issues reguarding birth.

Answer 3

You say the dr. did not repair you correctly the first time....is that your opinion or is that medically proven? Are you going to deliver with the same doctor?

I have had both vaginal and c-section deliveries. I am also a petite woman and had a large baby the first time. My second delivery (vaginally) was much easier for me.

Third pregnancy I had a c-section because when I got to the hospital I was 9 cm with feet presenting...I did not like the c-section at all. The idea that someone wants you to curl up in a ball while you're in labor so they can stick a needle in your back is just ridiculous. I had a reaction to the morphine, which I had never had before. My recovery was much longer with the c-section. And even though it is low and no one else can see it, I hate that scar on my abdomen.

So for me personally, I would take my two natural deliveries with no medications over a c-section with medication any day of the week.

Answer 4

Hi if i was you i would have a C-section as you do not want to make it more painful for yourself i have had both 3 natural births and 1 C-section the later takes a long time to get over but you wont be in any more pain down below and you could also get sterilized at the same time i did good luck what ever you choose

Answer 5

Something very similar happened to my mother. My sister and I were born 13 months apart and my older sister ripped Mom a new one too. Mom still has a hole all the way through her labia. Her doctor felt that despite history a vaginal delivery was in her best interest for the second child (me) as well. She of course ripped again....but the new wound gave her clitoris some slack and she healed more normally. It was about two years before she orgasmed again but it did happen. Now 20 years later aside from the hole her stuff works and looks fairly normal (so she tells me)

Answer 6

I would go with the C-section. To have to redo the damage that was done again could be very painful. I had both a vaginal birth and a c-section. With the vaginal birth I was very sore for a few weeks, whereas the c-section I was not in that much pain. Secondally, I would talk to the doctor that did the bang up job and let him fix the damage that was improperly done in the first place.

Answer 7

This is the most horrible thing I've ever heard. What kind of quack delivered your child? What hospital does that? And how if they stitch you back wrong is it not repairable?
Have a C-section and tell them while they are there they can go a little further down, call the plastic surgeon and do reconstructive surgery. Good luck to you.

By the way, what hospital did you go too? And doctors name? to keep other woman from going through this too.

Answer 8

I have had both neither being more pleasant than the other. But you should go for the c-section, you could receive more damage going vaginally and may loose sensation for good and worse. Hopefully you don't have the same Dr. and you should look into a lawsuit, not for a get rich quick but for at least plastic surgery. This type of botch job is not commen and you should not go through pain for the rest of your life and it could affect your marriage down the road. Seak legal advice as soon as possible.

Answer 9

A C-section is no big deal. You will probably be in less pain with a c-section then a vaginal birth this time around. Tell your doctor about your first birth and the pain you're still in and see what he/she suggests to do about your second birth.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear you're in pain ! I hope you're seeing a different doctor this time around??!! I had 2 C Sections and they were rather easy and pleasant. Every woman is different though. I was told by other women that I would be in too much pain and need alot of help etc but that was NOT the case for me. I was back to myself in no time ! Good luck to you.