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Question

I'm 2 months pregnant with my first child. I was told by doctors that I couldn't get pregnant and now I am. My boyfriend was happy about it and we were making plans, he was excited. Now last night he came to bed and told me he can't handle this and he wants me to get an abortion. He said it's not fair for his child to live in poverty, and this and that. I'm a million percent against abortion, I have always seen it as killing an innocent child. Yesterday I had my first ultrasound and I saw my baby on that screen and I heard it's heartbeat, I know I can't kill it. If I ever brought myself to, it would destroy me, and it would destroy my relationship with my boyfriend because I would want nothing to do with him after he made me do something like that. He's not even giving me the option of keeping it. I told him I would move and do it on my own and he says he won't let me take his child away from him. I don't know what to do...

Answer 1

I wish all mothers thought like you. But sadly, they don't. They do kill the innocent living children. First off, your boyfriend, for believing in MURDING an innocent child should be dumped. And second, I would suggest giving it up for adoption. I know it's your child, but it might (MIGHT) be what's best. Also, he cannot in anyway stop you. Unless of course you're married which you ain't. Go to your parents. Go to your church. Or, go to http://www.sharinglifetogether.com/contactus
Okay? Then fill out your info, then, in the message box, paste your question from Yahoo answers. I can almost gaurantee they can help. I've sent many people to them, and have gone there myself. email me with follow up! please do I really care about you! I feel very sorry for you! Oh and no offense, but I think your boyfriend is a bit crazy... I mean if you have an abortion he wouldn't have a kid in the first place. and when you are 30 yr old. (just imagine) ask him this: what would you pick? A slight case of poverty, or being purposely killed by your parents? I mean what if you get rich later? Or become well off? There is a such thing as a good job, you just work up to it. I mean wouldn't it be better to be poor then well off, than poor then dead? And also, look at Abraham Lincoln, he wasn't exactly rich. Or George Washington Carver, he was never rich, but he had a good life and became famous!

Answer 2

First off this is YOUR baby and YOUR body. Don't let anyone decide how you life your life. If your boyfriend is so against having the child he should of worn a condom. I have just had a son, he's 6months old and he is the most precious thing i could ever bring into this world. Money does not matter, what a baby needs in thier life is love and if you can provide that, you are ready to bring this life into the world. Think about what the doctor said. Would you be able to live with yourself if you went ahead with the abortion and never got pregnant again? It sounds like you are one of the lucky ones. Your boyfriend is just getting cold feet. Once that baby is in his arms he will think differently. He wouldn't be the first or the last to freak out. Stick with your instinct, if your boyfriend isn't gonna support you through this pregnancy he really isn't worth keeping around in the long run, buut i think you already know this. Good luck.

Answer 3

You are correct that this is a baby. Let your boyfriend know that you will be keeping the baby (I was told that I wouldn't get pregnant either - boy were the doctors wrong). You would not be sure if you could have another afterwards. Let your boyfriend know that children could care less when they are young whether mom or dad have a little money or a lot of money. If you love that baby with everything you have he/she would be the happiest baby in the world. You don't have to have money to go to a park and let your little one run and play and jump. You don't have to have money to love a person or a child. Children don't need "things" they need the love that a parent gives them. But if he insists on the baby being aborted, pack your things and move on without him. But make sure that you have his info, so that when the baby is born he can pay child support, because whether he wants or not he is financially responsible for the baby also.

Answer 4

Ok, first of all, I would be wondering why he's worried about paternal rights when he wants you to abort the baby anyway. (By the way, I am completely with you on your views of abortion.) You shouldn't kill an innocent baby just because your boyfriend wants you to. Make clear to him your beliefs on the issue, and tell him you intend to keep the baby. Say if he has a problem with this, you will move out and he can have visitation, or you can stay and he can deal with it. Either way, the next move is up to him. If you've already decided you want to keep the baby, he will have to choose whether or not he wants the responsiblity of being a father. You are doing the right thing to stick with your beliefs, and don't let him pressure you into doing something you'll regret. If he's that kind of man, then he's not worth it. Good luck, and I'll be praying for you.

Answer 5

I am sorry that you are in this position. My advise is to do what your heart says. I would take your boyfriend to the doctor with you and let him hear the heartbeat and see the baby. Right now the baby might not seem real to him. This is common in the early stages. You sound like you KNOW that you want to keep your child, there are ways that you can. There are programs that can help you and the baby with health care and aide. If you boyfriend decides that he can't do this he is still responsible financially for the baby. If you and the father 100 % decide that you are not ready to be parents there is always adoption. You can choose an open adoption which will let you still be part of your child's life. Good luck your in my prayers.

Answer 6

Having a child is a privilege, a gift. If you want to have your child go a head and have it don' let nothing get you down. Further don't do something you will end up regretting for the rest of your life just think about that. And about the poverty think don't worry about that there is always WIC, Food stamps , Medicare etc to help you out with your financial needs. So honestly if I were you I would have it because you don't know that if in the future you will ever get pregnant again but then again the decision is up to you

Answer 7

Sweetie, he can't force an abortion on you. If he does try to, you can inform the police, as it's their duty to protect your rights. And you have the right to decide what you want for your unborn baby. You are the ONLY person who has the right to decide.

Keep the baby. You can move away if you have to. He can't stop you from moving away, that's your choice also. If there's a custody battle, I think hands down you'll win, because he wanted you to abort the baby in the first place. The court won't look too kindly on him for that.

It sounds as if your boyfriend is very controlling. I think you need to speak with your doctor or a specialist or a counselor about his behavior, because it sounds as if he's threatening you. And being pregnant, that's the last thing you and your baby need. If he would harm you, you need to get away from him. If you won't do it for you, do it for your baby. Remember, if he's hurting you, he's hurting that baby, too.

Answer 8

You both created a beautifull creature, why destroy it.
He want you to have an abortion but yet he want to keep the child, if he could think of having an abortion then he really don't want the child.
Don't have an abortion, it may screw you up your from been a mom in the future.
Just remember first he wanted now he don't, then he give you some lame excuse.
You better check that out.

Answer 9

ok he won't let you take his child away from him, but he wants you to get an abortion????

first thing is to tell him how you feel.

second thing is to convince him that the child won't be wanting for anything (as long as you're sure of that.)

third thing is to find out - really find out - what he's scared of. is it the responsibility? the life change? kinda sounds like that's what it is.

you have a few weeks to work through this. don't decide anything immediately. i know it looks like an impossible situation, but give your bf some time and use this difficulty to practice "conflict management" or whatever, which is something you're going to have to do when you raise a child - together or apart.

ultimately he can't force you to do anything. and if you think he could force you to somehow miscarry, then you're already not in a good situation and no amount of patience or understanding is going to help you. leave.

but only you know your situation and your bf's potential for goodness.

best of luck to you.

Answer 10

If you have an abortion that is taking his child away from him, he needs to figure out what exactly he wants. There are a lot of emotions going on when you find out you are having a baby, give it time and let him know how special the baby is going to be and how much the baby will be loved. Good luck and may God bless you. (Keep that precious baby!)