poem,, crappy or ok? " miss you already"?

Question

Every thought , every breath
every memory haunted
by the reality that you will be gone
nothing I can do, nothing I can say
can keep you from leaving
your going in certainty
like the leaves falling in october
every bare branch means
the end of summer is here
every day that goes by
it's a little harder to smile
a little harder to breathe
I'll miss the wrinkes
your eyes make when you smile
I'll miss the prickle
of your chin gone unshaven
I'll miss the way you get upset
when I say "fine" but dont mean it
I'll miss the times we laugh for hours
about things no one else finds funny
I'll miss the times we lay in bed
for hours and hour on end
just chatting and laughing,
and even sometimes bickering...
I think sometimes we like to fight
Just so that we can make up...
and hold eachother the whole night through...
I whisper I forgive you..
and then you whisper back to me
I forgive you too..
there are so many things I'll miss
in fact.. I already do.....

Answer 1

It's very nice. I particularly like,
"your going in certainty
like the leaves falling in october
every bare branch means
the end of summer is here".
To me, it's the heart of the whole poem. In fact, that is so good it would make an excellent musical lyric.

Answer 2

This is a wonderful poem. You've chosen some very intimate images.

Just a couple of grammatical errors...
your going = you're going
hours and hour = hours and hours

Answer 3

Something that is written from the heart is never crappy.

Especially when you look beyond mere words, and feel the emotion that radiates like the sun



Well I liked your poem =)

Answer 4

I think its a good sentimental poem for your loved one.

Answer 5

I think it's a very romantic poem.

Answer 6

I liked it!

Answer 7

can enter a competition too. :)

Answer 8

wow. u know i LOVE it so much! it reaLLy touches me..