8 years ago i had an affair with someone i worked with, he was married and i was living with my partner (we are now married). It finished when i told my partner and we decided to give it another go. I recently got back in touch with my ex just as friends and only by email but he has suggested meeting still just as friends, is this wrong? We both have children and are not looking to risk losing our families, but wold like to catch up.
2006-08-08 23:20:30 · 16 answers · asked by babyjane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
thanks for all the answers it might help to know that the affair was not based on sex it was more of a close friendship that we stupidly let get out of control, we've both grown up a lot since then and it seems a shame to miss out on a good friend we all need those after all
2006-08-10 00:33:51 · update #1
No it's not a good idea. You had an affair with a married man, so you have no respect for marriage. You and your married fling both know what is going to happen if you meet up. There is no way your husband is going to trust you and I don't blame him. Don't think he will never find out. Also try and think how you would feel if your husband was cheating on you with a another woman. Also how would it feel to you if your husband than was emailing her years later and wanted to meet up again. Have some respect for the man's wife, his children, your husband, your children and more importantly yourself and put an end to the emails and meeting.
2006-08-08 23:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by littleflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were the other way round would you want your other half meeting up with an ex with whom the affair nearly wrote your relationship off?
The fact that you're even asking suggests you know the answer, but you're hoping somebody will say, sure, it will be fine, you can control yourself...
Now the question is, do you actually want to have a bit on the side? In which case, have you learned how not to get caught? Or are you now willing to lose it all for this ex?
2006-08-08 23:32:50 · answer #2 · answered by lickintonight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would need to ask why you want to get in touch again? he was married when you had your affair, he is still married, you are now married, sounds as if part of you wants to re-kindle the danger, put your self in a risk situation because you are a little bored or shaky with your present relationship... simple way to answer this, is if as you say "We both have children and are not looking to risk losing our families, but wold like to catch up." are you going to do this covertly or will both your partners know that you are meeting up with an old friend? and how do they feel about it? or more to the point how would you feel about it if your partner presented you with the same scenario?
2006-08-08 23:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by dianafpacker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
I don't think it will be a good idea. You might end up betraying your husband. You can be easily tempted. This will then have a very bad effect on your family life. You will also regret a lot afterwards. If you only want to be friends with him then that's not a problem. But better keep in touch only by e-mail. And don't hide it from your husband. Just tell him the truth that you both are only friends now. Because if ever he finds out later this will hurt him a lot and this will also affect your married life. If you think that if you coninue to keep in touch with your ex, you will end up meeting him. Then better stop mailing him. Wish you all the best.
2006-08-08 23:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by mehnaazishaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What part of this don't you get, sweetie??? Stop making excuses about him being "a friend".....that is a bunch of crap. You are not a happy person and you are on the prowl to spread misery and havoc no matter where you go. If you are both married to others and have families....keep it that way. You have no business doing anythng else. Again, stop the "friend" crap.... oldest trick in the book. Do you think that people are that dumb to believe that? There is nothing to catch up on other than you were both cheats............once a cheat always a cheat. Shame on you!
2006-08-08 23:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe honestly and truthfully I can see where you are coming from in wanting to meet up as friends..... However this could lead to a disaster as when you see him there may be that little spark there again that sets it all off again..... R u sure he just wants to meet you as friends also????? or is he saying this just to catch you out and give you a quick one and leave you to never speak to you again???
It's down to you at the end of the day babe what you do, but my advice would be to keep away and think of all the good that came out of keeping away from him in the first place..... especially your kids and the Partner who sounds like he'd never do anything to hurt you.
Hope all works out for the best
xx
2006-08-09 00:37:16 · answer #6 · answered by Bookham 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/AKiLB
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-23 23:06:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know this is wrong and you are kidding yourself that you will not sleep with him when you know you will. Can you really hurt your husband and children like this? Can you really DESTROY their lives? For the sake of your husband and kids don't meet with him. In the long run you will not regret the decision to leave this man in the past. All the best x
2006-08-08 23:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be careful.
Only meet if you are supremely confident in being able to control yourself.
2006-08-08 23:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by JeffE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you might be fooling yourself. I am not sure that I really believe in male-female friendships.
2006-08-08 23:29:29 · answer #10 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋