Been married 2 yrs,together 5 ust found out husband cheated while I was pregnant and after the baby?

Question

I have been with my husband for 5 yrs, but married two. I am 24 years old and we have two children together. A five year old and a 9 month old. I just found out that when he was in Seattle for work he cheated on me (while I was pregnant) and then cheated again earlier this year (April) after I had our daughter. We just purchased our first home together and have been living here two months. I am lost I am unsure of which way to turn. All of my family just moved out of state less than a month ago, so I have no one. And on Wednesday next week I am staring the best job in my life, so I really cant move, I dont know what to do. He has begged and pleaded with me and seems sincere but my heart wont allow it. I feel so hurt and emotionally abused , what should I do?

Answer 1

Seek the help of a marriage counselor. Cheating can be signs of underlying problems within the marriage. If you are willing to move on with your husband a marriage counselor will give you the tools to get beyond what he has done. If you can't move beyond it, then seek the advice of a lawyer. No use in staying in a marriage where you'll both be unhappy.

Answer 2

If your heart is not allowing then follow your heart . You can wait and watch his behavior for some time and if he is sincere to you then you don't need to worry .
Now lets come to your mind , must be going thru lot of things, multitasking . Should I stay or move on ? What abt kids ? Maybe it was nothing emotional blah blah blah
See there are times in a relationship when one might just go off the road . Your husband is always sorry for what he does . You and the kids seem to be important to him . You didn't mention hows his attitude towards you and the kids . If he is a good human being and that's just one flaw which he is having then I guess you guys should sit down together and work it out .
Nobody is perfect . I am not justifying what your husband has done to you , not once but twice . All I am saying is that this must be his weakness and not his nature or something he enjoys doing . Strength factor has to be you . Balance this with his positive attributes . Whichever weighs more will give you your answer .

Answer 3

First I would like to say that you and your children our in my preyers. I'm not really sure what you should do. I mean I have been cheated on before, however, not by my husand and I can imagine how confused you must feel right now. After reading your question it appears that your husband might have a problem and he might continue to cheat unless he feels that he is truly at risk of losing his family. I can tell you that you acknowledge what he did and let him know that his actions are not acceptable. I think you truly need to step back and listen to your heart and the best decision for you and your children. I know you stated that you're alone now because all of your family has moved so I can only imagine how difficult this time must be for you, however, remain strong and you will make it through these difficult times.

Answer 4

Well, first of all, I know that you are in a lot of pain right now and feel betrayed. It will be a long hard road, but if your husband wants to save the marriage and you want to save it, you have a lot to do. One website that would be really helpful is www.marriagebuilders.com. It is all about marriage and infidelity and how to make it work. There are steps that you can take to get through this and many people that can help you that have gone through what you are experiencing. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would say that it is time to move on. You deserve to be loved and respected and be in a relationship that you feel safe with. This is not the relationship and I have to believe that you will always wonder and feel on edge.

And even though it seems next to impossible now, you can do it alone. You are a mother and mother's have a way of making sure their children's needs are met. You will be strong and happy again, it just takes time.

Answer 6

Well, its all up to you now, cheating isnt the worst thing in the world, really is it. It might feel bad now, but will not be as bad in afew days. I would just go on as normal, in think about it in a week. Make him turn gps tracking on his mobile on, so u allways know where he is via the net, if it helps. Ask him if he wants activly to cheat again. Ask him if he would like a 3sum. Im not saying have a 3sum, but this way you find out his sexual disires, maybe you can fulfill them, maybe you want want to. Calm down for a while, ask a bunch of questions, see where they take you. Get him tested for aids, and the rest.. Its nice and painful for guys.

Answer 7

Since he's cheated not once but twice, do you really want to stay in this marriage any longer? It's not fair to you. Who's to say he won't do it again in the near future? If you can't move then rent an apartment. It's unfortunate that there are children involved in this mess. You need to take time out for yourself to sort this out.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm not sure what to tell you, but I know you are intitled to feel the way you do.
Maybe the best thing to do is to try to work things out. I don't know all the circumstances behind this, but you do have children together and he seems to want to work things out. I know you feel betrayed, but try to hang on.

Answer 9

just picture him with his lover and that will give you the courage to leave himmmmmmmmmmm girl you are better than that, take half and since you are getting a good job you will make it!!!!!!!!!!!remembre when your mom brough you to the world its was jus t you alone and you have made it so far you dont need him..... good luck!!!!!

Answer 10

Call your family, they will help you. Jobs come and go. So do cheating spouses.