What's the most embarressing thing you've done?

Answer 1

Well, three things particularly stand out...

As a teenager, I got this faintly mad idea to "thin out" my eyebrows. With an electric razor. Anyway...I'm not entirely sure how, in retrospect, but before I knew it, I had no left eyebrow, just this weird pink lump. Being a stupid teenager, the thought struck me that I looked weird with one full eyebrow and one bare. So I shaved off the other one.
Yeah...that's much better.
I wore glasses, so thought to myself - "It'll be fine, I cna hide them behind the specs."
Then I broke the specs, sat on them and popped out ONE lens, while the other remained in place.
So I turned up at school the next morning with no eyebrows and one lens in my glasses. Oh how we laughed.

Second example. My first job as a print reporter was for a trade magazine covering the automotive industry. First "field trip" was to Vienna. Everything first class - flight, hotel, everything. I'd never experienced luxury like it. Thank you Volkswagen. The buffet lunch was in a bloody great banqueting hall. I mention this by way of preparation.

So I'm at my first European press conference, CEOs and European heads of industry in the panel. I put my hand up to ask my first question in the job, to make my mark among the other hard-bitten motoring correspondents. They bring me the mike, and my mind goes blank. There's a moment of silence that stretches....on....and on...and then, unbidden, and with a force bordering on the supernatural, lunch gets to me, and a horrendous belch escapes from my throat...magnified by the mike, it roars around the room like an accoustically perfect hurricane.
Then the silence returns. The room looks at me.
"Thank you" says the press officer, and the mike-bringer snatches it back from me with the fire of hatred in her eyes.
Great debut that.

Later on in that job, I developed a reputation as a champion blagger. I'd ring up car manufacturers and "borrow" a vehicle for the weekend. It was a common practice in my office, but I toook it to new levels. No-one from my magazine had ever blagged a Jaguar before. I got THREE. Only dented the one, which by my standards was pretty good. Then someone challenged me: "Bet you can't get a Porsche." It was a foolish challenge, and needless to say I talked my way into getting hold of one. they delivered it to me in Bristol, where I stayed most weekends. It was hideous - like driving a peanut shell on wheels. Anyway, Monday morning comes and I set off to drive back to Surrey, where I lived and worked. It was pouring down with rain, and as I reached the M25, I saw what appeared to be a twig on the road, and, unconcerned, drove over it.

There was a colossal bang. It wasn't a twig after all.
That'll be me on the M25 in a borrowed Porsche with a blow-out then. Bugger.

Now...I know this sounds really stupid NOW...but I'd never changed a tyre in my life (Yes I worked on a car magazine...), and I was damned if I was gonna start now, in the pouring rain in a Porsche. So I drove it home...that's about 35 miles...on three tyres and a wheel-rim. Got some help from a more technically-minded colleague when I got to work and had the indignity of calling Porsche HQ and letting them know their showcar had had a blow-out. They came and collected it later that day, and, funnily enough, never let me borrow anything else. In fact, the woman who had arranged to lend me the Porsche changed jobs not long after. She went to work for BMW. I never got one of those either...Wonder why...

Answer 2

This is cheating I know but I read this somewhere and I thought it was mortifying.

A girl goes to a party, it's being held in the conservatory of the persons house who's party it is, she realises she needs to do a poo and excuses herself to use the bathroom, she has to ask where it is so most people at the party know where she's off to. She goes to the bathroom does her thing but then the damn thing wont flush away she tries and tries but it just stays floating on the water.
Not wanting the next person to see her 'deposit' she scoops the thing out of the toilet wraps it in tissue and throws it out of the bathroom window, relieved she makes her way back down to the party. She enters the conservatory, the room falls silent and all turn and stare. She hadn't realised the bathroom was directly above the conservatory and her flying poo had splatted all over the conservatory roof for all to see! needless to say she hot footed it out of there and died of embarrassment.

Answer 3

Leaning back on the back on the glass window of a bus shelter when I did not realise it was missing. I went flying over and rolled over the hill at the back. For some reason I was not injured and I guess it is because I was not aware what was about to happen. My embarrassment was only spared because only one OAP was there and she did not seem to comprehend the act: probably because of the speed and its ludicrous nature. Bizarre. I have not leaned on windows for the last 22 years.

Answer 4

I was out shopping with a friend a few years back when we decided to go for a coffee, whilst in the cafe i thought i would go to the loo. Some lovely person before me decided to stick chewing gum in the lock which left me locked in. Thankful for mobile phones i called my friend sat outside to come and help, but we had no joy trying to get the door opened........End result fire brigade had to be called to take the door off........they all had a great laugh about it and my friends have never let me live it down.

Answer 5

Oh where do I begin?! Ok, one thing that springs to mind,is when I met Pierre from Simple Plan, we were having our pic taken together but it was on my phone, and for some reason, I couldn't figure out why the screen was showing all the other random people and not me and him...it turned out I was holding it back to front,I never figured it out til he took my phone and turned it round...yeah, that was embarrassing. Oh and about 2 weeks ago I fell up the stairs in a club. theres loads more but I think thats enough for now.

Answer 6

Lots of things, too numerous to mention. Usually once a day.

Like last Monday, I took my young daughter swimming. Went in changing rooms with her to get her ready, then went to go to the cafeterriere, where I'd keep an eye on her. Only, got confused where theres two doors by the exit, and walked literally into the cleaner's broom cupboard. That made a few women getting changed look at me and think wtf, silly cow!

Not the most embarrassing, but one of the most recent.

Answer 7

loads.....going up to a baby that was wearing a blue romper..looking back it was obvious that it was a baby boy...and saying to the mother.."Isn't she pretty"!!!

Going to the loo in work....one of the lads saying..."there's no lock on the door"...I closed the door and whistled...then realised there was no bloody handle on the door!! In panic....I went over my police radio and told them that I was stuck in the loo...needles to day 4 years down the line I am still reminded about it!!!

Then there was the time when I miscalculated the distance between the back of the van and the police station...and reversed into it!!!

Driving the police car out of the garage...not realising the garage was narrower than the car with the wing mirrors out.....drove the car out...and hey presto..no wing mirrors on the car!! My excuse..we needed a mirror for the rest room!!!!

Shall I go on????.........noooooooo......think that's more than enough!!!

Answer 8

OK well i was on a road trip with a few of my friends and i had to go to the bathroom SO bad I'm mean i really had to ****, so we pulled over and i go off into the trees and go, but as i do this what i dont know is a a cop was driving by and saw 4 kids on the side of the road and thought we were up to something so he pulls over. when he asked my friends what we were doing they said "our friend if getting some business done" and when the cop asked what kind of business my smart *** friends say "her" business. so the cop walks back to where i was and sees and scares the crap out of me. ends up i was shitting on private property so we got a ticket!! best road trip ever

Answer 9

About 6yrs ago when I was proposing to my girlfriend, we went out for a romantic meal in a high class restaurant and as any guy should I got down on one knee and went to open the box to show her the ring. I lost my balance and grabbed on to the table to balance myself. I only ended up grabbing the table cloth instead and dragged it down with me and ended up being completed cover in our meal along with the wine along a single vased red rose.

Everybody just stop what they were doing and looked at me and started laughing, I looked up to my girlfriend and she had her chin in her hand leaning on the edge of the table grinningand shaking her head it disbelief.

I got up wied myself of with a napkin and took a bow, everyone just clapped and started cheering.

I couldn't believe it, but she married me anyway.

Answer 10

Me and my boyfriend got caught in the act at his house by his Granny. The worst thing was she sat on the bed(neither of us had clothes on) and she chatted for ages. Can't look that woman in the eye now. So shamed