Would you wait for someone for 3 long years?

Question

My husband and I have only been married for 5 months. We also have a child together. But we've been together for almost 2 years. We have our ups and downs like other couples. But my main problem is that I don't fully trust him to go to Wales - England to study for 3 years. It seems a very long time and what if he fells lonely or a woman seduce him etc? He said he will only see my and our son once a year. But will keep in contact through emails and phone as much as we can. I really want to give him a chance for the sake of our son and family but I'm so afraid to get hurt, for what ever problem that may arise. His already made up his mind that he is going. People please, what shall I do? Has anybody experience this before? He does really love me. I broke up our marriage for this and he is asking me back to work it out before he goes. Please help. Thank you

Answer 1

How come you can't move there with him???????? That doesn't make any sense at all. Why would he want to be away from you for 3 long years if he doesn't HAVE to? My husband is in the Army so he will eventually have to be away from me for up to a year...he will see me maybe once in that year for his R&R. But since he's in the Army it's his job...it's not like he would CHOOSe to be away from me for that long. ....but 3 years?! That is ridiculous. I would never agree to my husband voluntarily leaving me and our son alone for 3 years and only seeing me ONCE a year. You should find an apartment in Wales and move there so that you are close to him....save the money up and go....if he doesn't like that idea then you need to find out why he wants to be away from you so bad. That is just weird. If he really loves you he will make every effort to be with you. It sounds like he is making you his PLAN B. Meaning he is keeping you on the bench in case things don't work out in Wales he will never be lonely because he has you to fall back on. Don't let that happen. He needs to choose you first and foremost because you are his wife. Family comes first.

Answer 2

Just wait. But whatever you do, don't go behind your parents back & buy the game on your own & play it. If you do, & they find out, you may ruin a trust-bond that once damaged or broken might take a very long time--perhaps even alot longer than the 3 years you now have to wait-to repair, or it may never be fully repaired. If you focus on other things, those 3 years'll go by almost in a blink. : ) .

Answer 3

Is there any chance that while he is there you can go fly over there and visit him in between his visits? Also, you need to let him know about your fears before he leaves. It's better if you get it out there in the open. Don't be afraid to tell him your issues. I know what you're going through. When my husband was deployed for 6 months, the only communication we had was when he was on shore in another country and it was only for a few days. It does get easier as time goes by though. Just keep busy and continue to go about your daily life and find new activities for yourself. I wish you luck. You can always come back to this board to communicate with us.

Answer 4

Is there any way you could all move there together? I would tell him that he is being selfish to want to leave you an dhis son to go study in England. If he wants to go that bad, he shoudl find a way for his whoel family to go. It is his responsibility now that he has a family to be together if possible. Tell him that once a year is not enough fo ryour son or you and is not healthy to be apart for that long. It is highly unlikely it will work. My husband is in the military and he was just gone for 1 year and that was terrible. I do not suggest it at all. Do anything possible to keep this from happening.

Answer 5

Hi
I'm a man.I've been married for three years now and if I could go to Wales to study, I would never go without my wife because I love her so much I couldn't live without her that long. You don't marry someone to see her just once a year. Believe me, if he is thinking about the leaving you in your country, he doesn't love you any more. Ask him about the possibilities of going with him and you'll see...

Answer 6

The first thing you need to ask yourself is why don't you trust him. Is that YOUR issue or has he given you a reason not to. "What if he feels lonely" or "What if another woman seduces him" aren't things you can control. Whether he is close to you or far away. Those are choices HE has to make and he could make them anywhere. The second thing you should ask yourself is why aren't you going with him, or why is he not willing to stay for you? Are they valid reasons? If you really want to be together there are always ways to compromise. Good luck.

Answer 7

My husband is in the military and he was away for a little over 2 years deployed. I have no kids, but we kept in touch through emails and all though I missed him like crazy I waited..If you truly love someone it will be worth the wait. If you husband is unfaithful time will tell..You could always pop in on unexpected visits..Hopes this helps....Good Luck..

Answer 8

Is going to England with him an option? Are you a professional? Maybe you can find work there. How old is your child? It seems like you have trust issues and you really have to deal with this or you'll lose him:(

Answer 9

why can you both move to wales theres Really no reason for him to leave you if he loves you and wants to be with you, unless you dont want to go with him, three years is a very long time im sorry to say. My brother was with this girl for 3 years and she got stationed in Atlanta,Ga for 2 years and my brother lived in San Diego. after a year they decied to go both ways because it was a long wait and they couldnt handle the pain ,but if he does leave its not like you cant go see him. if i where you id leave with him.

Answer 10

I would follow him there. Otherwise, divorce is the best option. He will certainly cheat.