How do i handle this particular situation?

Question

My wife and i have been married for the past 7 months after seeing each other for 1 and a half yrs... i am a guy who used to be very possesive in the beginning... but after the wedding... i started giving my wife her own space... she goes out with her colleagues ften... i don't... i have a packed weekday schedule wid wk, so usually laze around at home during weekends... i'm an ultimate gaming freak right frm childhood... so spend some hours on the comp playing them... she gets angry for this... she knows how much i love gaming... she never used to say anything bout this b4 our marriage... but now she has a big problem... she beats herself... hits me... is always angry that i don spend time with her... then she z started a new thing bout not havin money to spend for herself... i live in a joint family... an i support ma parents... she also contributes eagerly in front of em but sulks to me that she is unhappy?? i don know wat to do?

Answer 1

Have you told her how you feel about this? The most important thing in a good relationship is communication. If she's not listening or having a hard time understanding your side, try mediation or counseling.

Answer 2

sounds like you & your wife should sit down and try and talk about this..make a rule that there is to be no raised voices & you voice your opinion without her interupting then let her voice her opinion without you interrupting.. then discuss this matter..since it sounds like you 2 tend to end up in an argument.. maybe you can both come to a conclusion that meets half way.. e.g. Saturdays you can game from as much as you want, but sundays you spend the day with your wife doing something as a couple.. Please don't get so stuck into gaming that it becomes your life.. your wife probably is just fighting to get your attention.. as for the money issues.. Is it possible to cut back the payments by a couple of % or maybe your wife can work a few hours a week from home or part time somewhere and gain some pocket money if she is complaining there isn't enough..??

Answer 3

You are a married man who is obviously not past your childhood obsession. Drop the games and pay some respect to your wife. I don't care if you work. You still need to give her attention and love. Take her out or something. The thing about her not having money. That is just using you. I can see whee you don't like the situation. She is like my mother and how she treated my stepfather. Always complaining that she deserves more. I say work for a living. If you want something, get it yourself. Tell her to wait until Christmas or her birthday if she wants something. She can get a job and buy the things you want. You are supporting the family and your mom. So chill out. Let her conform to you. If she wants a divorce, as much as you love her, say go ahead. She will not divorce you...don't worry. That would be cutting off her money supply. Sounds like you are being taken advantage of and you should look into a prenup agreement if you are worth anything.

Answer 4

You're pretty much screwed. I suspect that you both got married way too young. There is a chance, if she will agree and hold to the agreement (good luck).

On the money issue, you need to set a budget. Take your monthly income, subtract fixed expenses (shelter, utilities, food, a bit of a margin, etc.). Then with the remainder, divide by three. One for you, one for her, one for the house. You agree on what to spend from the household account, but your shares are your own.

Try something similar for the time issue.

On your next marriage, if you're crazy enough to try again, wait until you are in your 30s. And get all of the above, plus children, agreed on before you get hitched. Get this set in a pre-nup.

Answer 5

Its easy, there is no problem.

First of all your parent first.

you have to appreciate your wife, she need you even if she sound good, you have to spend a lot of time with her, strongly try to be her friend before being a husband, I dont know what games could steal your life, women are a complex bulk of emotions, hug her, real hug, tell her a sweet words & describe her beauty as much as you can, women like that, try to renew your style, keep a nice smell, give her a very hot & long kisses every day in many locations (at home or out), let her touch that she is every thing in your life (but dont forget parents first), then she will let you play as much as you want your games.
Good Luck brother.

Answer 6

Almost sound like me and my husband. I worked for 5 months into our marriage, and he decided he needed me at home always, b/c he owned his own business, and would want me to take calls from home.

So now his money worked, is his money. Not our money, even thoough I am taking all calls, doing faxing, making contract, ....name it, i do it, he just does all the physical work.

But remember. Family never goes away when you are close to them!! Friends and lovers....do, sadly to say.

You get home from a hard day at work, and like to do things that you like to do....like playing games.

Well, I had to learn that the hard way. As much as I need my space, I know my husband does too.

So this is my husband's and I compromise:

If one of knows that we are having a bad day...we come home and do our separate things. He likes to do different stuff than I like to do. So we spend time to ourselves for an hour or hour and a half.

We will have dinner....then spend time together. We never want to put each other in a bad mood. So that is how we compromise. We let each other know when we need to spend time a part. But also in the same house.

I hope this helps.

Answer 7

I say, ease up on the gaming. She probably feels the computer is more important/interesting than her. When she's out, asleep or busy, go ahead and play...or at least find a game which she can also have fun with. Marriage is not all peaches and cream...and yes, when the girlfriend becomes the wife...things can change drastically and things that you think didn't bother them actually really irritates them once sharing the same roof.

Answer 8

First off, get some counseling, she doesn't need to be hitting either of you.
Next, try to keep your gaming to when she's out. Be sure that you are not neglecting her or household chores. Make sure that you take some breaks and go pay her a little attention.
Finally, she probably feels a lack of control over the money situation. Involve her in planning your budget. Ask for her suggestions. Maybe she would like to change her career for something more profitable.

Answer 9

Why don't you try spending more time with her. You had the answer right there in front of you. She goes out with her friends cuz you won't make the time to spend with her. Then she gets angry that when you're at home, you'd rather game. At least dedicate one weekend to just you and her and see if that doesn't improve things.

Answer 10

i never thought guys have this kind of problem. i thought you'd just ignore it...i think the best thing for you to do is to talk it with your wife...communication is the key...tell her everything, what you feel, how you feel, etc...then the two of you should decide what and which is best for you...listen to each other that is very important, don't be biased....weigh everything...not just on your point but also with her...if you want your marriage to work you have to understand each other's needs, and try to be honest with your feelings towards each other...maybe you can limit your time spending with your game..and set a boundary for a help with your parents, 'coz you and your wife has also needs and should set aside something for your kids...your parents should not depend on you all the time...you now have your own family...it's time for you to establish....explain that to your parents, i'm sure they will understand you...you should have talk bout these matter before you got married...i understand your wife why she act that way..talk to her in a mood,without anger so the two of you will come to understand each other...this is a tough thing to do because i'm sure you'll come to a point of shouting at each other but be calm...nothing will be resolve if you'll let anger carry you...may God bless you.....

Answer 11

Tell her to spend more time at home and you should limit your gaming to 1 hour per day. As for the money problem, she should not be spending too much on herself anyway. She should make family needs the priority, not herself.