After being cheated by ur spouse how to forget the past and again live together?

Question

we got married 15yrs back and this man came in her life 3yrs ago had an affair and was cought redhanded but even after this she is not able to forget him nor leave me bcos she loves both of us,i would have left her but we have childred and i stlii love her,what is the best solution

Answer 1

I think there are things which we can put up with and those things are different for every person. How ever I don't believe one can forgive and forget. You can forgive your spouse and decide not to go back to the same relationship. Just because you don't continue with the marriage does not mean you have not forgiven them it just means that for you this is something that you cannot accept in a relationship. I believe we confuse forgiveness with going back to a harmful relationship when if we really think about it there is a clear difference.

Answer 2

That's a tough one. For me anyways. Most things in life I will let go of while some things I'd have a really hard time not holding onto. A cheating partner for instance. One thing for sure is that to get past it you have to get it all out. You need to say all the things you want to say to him, even the really bad stuff, so that you're not holding onto it and blurt it out months later during an argument about dishes. Another is at this point it's time to start rebuilding trust again, not just pick back up right where you left off. Make sure he understands that.

Answer 3

That's a hard one to answer. Trust is so important in a marriage that once it's broken it will take a long time to rebuild it (if at all). Communication would be a good idea at this stage. Tell your mate how you feel and let it all out. You need to be able to move past the betrayal in order for your marriage to work out. Speaking only for myself, I probably am not strong enough to forgive once this happens to me.

Answer 4

To forgive is a choice however forgetting is not . Your spouse should exemplify behavior that shows remorse but you however can not beat a dog from now on. We are only human and we all make mistakes along the way. It is how we deal with those choices which make us who we are.

Answer 5

it is very hard i assume. if it was just a one night stand, maybe it is easier to deal with, but if it was an affair and lasted a long time, i don't think it is possible to believe your spouse any more, it is like that person has two face with two life, capable of anything.

Answer 6

that is defintley a hard question, but if you love one another enough to forgive and forget then you have to work it out as a couple .it is a long hard life but that is what they say can also make your love stronger.marrige is full of bumpy roads and you have to overcome each one you pass together.marrige counseling might help.

Answer 7

you both might benifit from marriage counseling. it sounds like you have been holding the ship together she needs to make a decision because i', sure it is wearing you down as well as the kids you did not say how old they are but they are pretty preceptive creatures young or old. i strongly suggest going to counselor both separately and together to sort these issues out.
good luck and god bless

Answer 8

It is difficult to forget the past u have to only compromise and live

Answer 9

this one is really tought. in my opion when you have been cheated on by your spouce you know for a fact that you loose the respect you once had for them . and know it will happen again in time so it would be best to leave this cheating spouce and find another one who has morals in a marrage. my opion ?

Answer 10

sorry that one is way to hard for me...I'd never forgive that and I'd never forget it...cheat once, they'll cheat again...might not happen for years...but I do believe it would again...no way would I go thru that twice...