How do I deal with my best friend and my ex-girlfriend having a secret relationship?

Question

My best friend of 20 years is having a relationship with my ex-girlfriend behind my back. I am still on good terms with my ex-girlfriend, and we hang out once in a while. I found a 1 year anniversary letter in his car when he let me borrow it for the weekend. I can't believe I was completely clueless for a whole year. I haven't told either of them that I know. I feel really uncomfortable with the two of them being together. How do I deal with this???

Answer 1

i think its was kept as secret because both of them are afraid of your possible reactions and judging from your statements it seems right for them to be mum. Please put in mind that the girl in question is already your EX-girlfriend and though you are still in good terms, it does not follows that she have to tell you everything, anyway its her business and private life. As per ur best friend he is not doing wrong unless your relationship with the same girl overlaps.. I think its best to just come out in the open and tell them you already know and ask them the reason why they tried to keep it a secret to you. And if you are still uncomfortable with them being together then its up to you if you want to cut the friendships. Remember if both relationship did not overlap then there is no such thing as betrayal of trust that happened here. Its ok to be hurt but you also have to look at the matter in their point of view before making any decision.

Answer 2

ten month and hiding a relationship , i had that experience before i was being played. Mainly teens most biggest mistake is they think their in a actual relationship when a guy kiss her , or hug her it doesn't really mean anything. If their not committed to you and doing that their using you. Same to girls who hide relationship obviously there's something suspicious so i cut the whole thing out. I don't even have details about this guy who i meet at my community college anyway people get tricked easily like that. Relationships should be heard. So becareful. Some what you remind me of the guy who used me to get his needs and go with some other **** . She will do the same to you , doing something like that is not right. Why didn't you chose the other girl in the first place.

Answer 3

Well, how much of an ex is she? Are we talking you were in seventh grade, or did it end right before they hooked up? If they've already been together a year it seems fairly serious and you need to sit down to talk with them both. Tell them the lying hurts you. But at the end of the day, you need to decide if you can live with them being together or not. If you can't, you'll need to look for friends elsewhere.

Answer 4

Are you jealous of this relationship, or is your ex-girlfriend bad for your friend in some real way?
Remember she is your ex. Your best friend probably wants to tell you, but is afraid of hurting your feelings. If she is truly your ex and a good person, be happy for your best friend and let him know you know. This should either strengthen your friendship, or he was not the friend you thought he was. Maybe, if you cannot get over it, you are not the friend he thought you were.

Answer 5

First of all there is no such things as Best Friends...so I say get rid of both of them...they should both be respecting you. No matter what you went out with her before....I don't understand this and it has been happening for a year..86 them...

Answer 6

Exactly same thing happened with me. I called both them for Dinner and then disclosed that "I know it" and explained them that they need not hide such things ... Its okay..

Answer 7

Neither one cares about your feelings. I would just stop communicating with both of them.

Answer 8

Leave them both