How do I keep from getting a divorce?

Question

I love my wife dearly however she says I do not show her the affection she needs. She tells me I am a great Father and Husband but I need to be a friend and more romantic. This all sprung up one day and I had no idea it was coming. She says she will not change her mind but I really want to work through this and save my marriage. Yet I do not want to come across as a little whiney punk. She means everything to me and if I had known this was coming I would not have let it get this far. Any ideas?

I did not mention that even though she said it was over she then said she would think about it. So how do I know when to start trying to show her I can be more affection. Hell, this morning she wouldn't even let me kiss her. I think I am screwed

Just looking for more help.

Answer 1

Do something new!!! Change your looks, try things you have never tried before, go on a little vacation, go on a picnic and talk! If you need help in opening up, play a game that will get you both to be open and intimate.

In the bedroom:
Lots of foreplay, use toys and experiment, guys love using toys on a woman, thats the fun of sex is experimenting, and be open to new ideas, you may think it's something you won't like, but in the end it may surprise you.

Try all variations and see what stimulates you most.

You need to be creative to avoid sexual boredom. Try a new location, rent a hotel room, experiment with new positions, buy new lingerie, rent a sexy video, try a hot bath, candles and a massage. Cast your inhibitions to the wind. And then get busy!

Send her on a romantic scavenger hunt one day, that leads her to the beauty shop to get her hair done, leave a note for there that leads her to get her nails done or a massage, then to a romantic restaraunt where you'll be waiting for her......

Answer 2

hi there you might well not be screwed as you put it ,but whats with the ....when do i start ?? look mate this shouldnt when do i start ,that should always be there youre wife must look after you well as you love her so pull the finger out and start talking to her and what do you mean some a whiney little punk ......is this how you see romance and love look if you love youre wife that much id be doing the whole bit and it is going to have to be a regular thing and you will have no choice in this matter as the minute you stop she will know that you only did it because you had to and not because you wanted to .....trust me on this im female i know how we work btter than you will ever know , and im letting you into a few secrets about how we think so use it to youre advantage ,take care of youre wife and show her some romance and you will have a happy wife,and you never know you might like what you get back in return and it could be more than a kiss

Answer 3

I hope I'm wrong, but I have to wonder if the reason she sprung this on you is because someone else has started giving her attention. When that happend to me, I suddenly felt that my husband wasn't giving me enough attention. I started comparing everything my husband had done to all of the new, exciting attention I was getting from the other man. My husband couldn't compete, especially since he didn't even know he was in a competition. If that is the case, there is probably nothing you can do except love her, be your best self, pray a lot, and wait pateintly for her to come to her senses. I finally did. My husband and I are still together thirteen years after I finally saw how much my husband truly loves me. I wish for you the best.

Answer 4

Ask her to try marriage counseling. It definately can't hurt. You seem like a nice guy with good intentions, you're just a little out of tune with your wife. Chances are there were little signs all along that this was coming, you just didn't pick up on them. Women, well not all women anyway, have a hard time, or just can't simply say "I don't feel loved". It's almost like a sign of rejection for us. If that's what she is feeling, sit down and talk with her. Admit things you've done wrong, and tell her that you are willing to work on making things right again. And if she's not talking to you, try sending her some flowers with a card of apology once in awhile. Leave her little notes on the fridge thanking her for something she's done for you....even if it's just the laundry. I know it doesn't seem like much, but to a woman, the little things are everything.

Answer 5

Good enough thats a just right question the thing is everyone has there own ways of this problems concerns on what people are fighting on my brother is married has 3 kids and they had plenty of fights some have been enormous some may also be small but u acquired to suppose if ur in a position if this man is the kinda guy u wanna marry so my point right here is all married persons will continuously fight however to me its rare that they dont grow to be divorced excellent success additionally are trying not to price problems

Answer 6

The answer is very simple(SHOW HER HOW YOU FEEL)dont act the part BE the part,Its like a puzzle with missing pieces you have the missing pieces.You also mentioned your a father and naturally your wife a mother,stop treating her as your childs mother and treat her like the woman you met play that part again.Thats what she misses YOU the way you were,buy her flowers,take her to dinner give her that eye contact thing you gave her back then when you were dating and then you will see her love for you growing stronger because she does love you,thats why she said she will think about it....Beleive in you and watch the magic of love tacking place....

Answer 7

Naw i don't think your screwed...you just need to show her you care and are trying to change. Its not always easy for us guys to be natuarlly romantic...so we need to do a little extra work to make it come out...and to not look like it was outright intentional and staged. Also you don't want to come across like you are kissing her *** to save your marriage...it needs to be genuine and from the heart. So you may need to play her game for a little while...some things you can do if you don't already do so...is start taking the initiative on small things like picking up around the house, maybe even cook dinner...or do something around the house thats she's been asking you to do for some time. See it needs to be something that catches her off guard and even throws her somewhat off balance...if she's the soft romantic you could even make her a cheesy but cute card...write her a poem...one of the cutest things my gf has ever done for me is she took an empty pill bottle and filled it with romantic sayings and on the pill bottle she made a lable...that says take as needed when your feeling lonely...

I feel for you man...I know what its like to be in your shoes...but you have to tread lightly...because if you come off to romantic she will not believe you...but the important thing is she needs to know you want to change...

furthermore..have you two thought about marriage conseling?

good luck man...don't give up...

Answer 8

Ok let me just say i have listened to my hubby say the same thing and trust me it make change for a while then they just go back to ignoring you. Dont make her give you a reason to kiss her and if she wont let you do that hold her hand kiss her neck (i love that) But dont come on like you want to get in her pants. Start it with little steps they move farther talk to her and see what she wants and fyi you may need to make sure she hasnt found someone else cause thats when i started asking for a divorce was when i was cheating on him. Good luck though and trust me about this i just got done arguing about my hubby ignoring me. Its not fun to be ignored and its not fun to only get attention when you are crying or he wants to get laid.

Answer 9

adequate thats a well query the object is everybody has there possess approaches of this disorders issues on what men and women are combating on my brother is married has three youngsters they usually had plenty of fights a few had been significant a few can also be small however u bought to suppose if ur equipped if this man is the kinda man u wanna marry so my factor here's all married men and women will constantly combat however to me its infrequent that they dont become divorced well success additionally take a look at to not fee disorders

Answer 10

Oh my! Usually I say some witty asshole comment, but wow, this one speaks for itself. I don't have any useful advise, but I hope you find an answer and everything works out in your marriage's best interests. This is proof that there doesn't have to be an insiting incident for marrige to go wrong. Good luck.

m.

ps. these other answers all tell you to change yourself and be someone you are not. You can't change who you are for anyone, even if it is at the expense of your marriage. You cant act forever.