I asked him why he would hide it from me. Is it because he is embarrased? He said that he didn't want me to watch it. What would be the real reason he would hide it from me? I don't care if he has porn. I would watch it with him. I have even told him this. But he still hides it.
2006-08-08 18:52:07 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He feels ashamed and guilty. It's his loss for not watching it with you. you seem very nice and understanding, he should appreciate you.
2006-08-08 19:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Duckjuice3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you asked the guys this question, but I've had this same thing happen in my marriage about eight years ago and since my husband and I have a really open and honest relationship, he let me in on a few guy secrets that I thought I would share. His hiding has nothing to do with you watching porn with him. It has to do with his dirty little secret. Most often, when in a happy and loving relationship, everything is shared between the two of you. Which means you pretty much have all your cards on the table. Well, he's keeping the queen of hearts under your bed (or where ever you found it). It's his, it satisfies his perverted fantasies when you aren't in the mood and he doesn't want to talk about it because then it's no longer a secret and no longer as exciting to him. I know this sounds weird. I looked at my husband like he was some sort of nut when he told me this too. Then one night at a euchre party with about two dozen men and women, we started talking about sex (cocktails always seem to lead to that), anyway, I asked the guys why they hide porn when we know they have it, and to my surprise every single one of them said the same stupid thing. It's guy logic...which makes no sense what so ever! Hope it shed some insight on this for you!
2006-08-08 19:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(Assuming for the moment that you would keep porn, just assume so you can imagine for the moment), how embarassed would you be if suddenly your husband found it? And then told you he might want to watch it with you? It might be kind of weird, kind of embarassing.
There is almost definitely not a "real reason he would hide it from [you]". Ask any guy you know.
Knowing guys, I would say it's not so much he was "hiding it" from you in terms of there being something secret in it, as much as he wasn't showing it to you. For a lot of guys, that would just be strange and rather awkward, and although awkward situations can, once resolved, lead to a stronger relationship, nobody goes around LOOKING for awkward situations!
If you are "worried" about him that there might be something strange going on, don't. This is typical. Whether continuing overtures to watch it with him depends on him. You know him.
2006-08-08 19:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by borweck 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over the whole "he's embarrassed thing" because he' not. He just keeps his porn a in a particular place that is convenient for him. His intentions are not hide but just to keep it out of the normal DVD slection. He obviously knows that you know where he keeps it, so one day let him come home and find you watching it and don't make anything sexual about it and I guarantee that porn will be in the open a whole lot more.
2006-08-08 19:22:57 · answer #4 · answered by rushin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really their is no need for him to hide his porn. Some guys can be real emotional and sensitive when it comes to things like that. Maybe he doesn't want you to know just how freaky he is. Or he's trying to learn new moves to satisfy you in the bedroom. Just give him some times to do his thing. If it still continues to bother you just put the porn in the trash.
2006-08-08 19:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by demlimbas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest i think he really doesnt want you to watch it and that's why he never told you abt it from the beginning. there can be a lot of reasons to why he doesn't let you watch it,he might be feeling embarassed,or it might be he feels like it's something personal to him hence he wouldn't want to share it with anyone. what i think you need to do is to understand that at times eventou he's your husband but there are still somethings that are personal to him and to you,even thou it might hurt just try to leave it alone and when he's ready to tell he will tell you. but ty to keep aclose eye on him see if he has that trend of keeping porn stash or how many other things he might be hiding,also try to show him that you can be trusted,you guys have a long way to go so making him see that he can trust you is very important.
2006-08-08 21:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by cicly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is embarrased. He has been conditioned for all these years to have this private auto-erotic aspect of his sex life. Tell him you understand that, and respect his space.
But you can also tell him that you like to watch porn every now and then, and he should try it with you once. Tease him a little about how much he will enjoy the result!
2006-08-08 18:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by pondering_it_all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is something he learned as a child and it is hard to break him of it. If doesn't bother you then just let him keep his stash,but maybe if you get some porn and watch with him and he realizes you actually do like it he might start sharing with you but yes he is embarrassed. Unless he prefer his hand to sex with you don't worry there is no other reason.
2006-08-08 18:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by fly on the wall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probable because he has always had to hide it from parents or other girlfriends. Also porn, even though it is much more mainstream,still continues to carry a dirty "wrong" vibe. Maybe you can show him that it does not bother you by having a private porn viewing party?
2006-08-08 18:57:57 · answer #9 · answered by Carlos D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am a girl, and I have loads of porn. I am very serious about not sharing certain parts of my collection with my fiance. It is not because I am doing perverted things or watching deviant videos. It is just that this is one of MY things. I watch porn because I want to please myself. If I wanted to have an orgasm, I know he could handle it anytime, but sometimes, I just want to handle it myself. Now, it could be that he is watching some stuff that he thought you wouldn't be into. Or perhaps he fantasizes about you in some of those positions, but knows that if you knew about the porn, you would shoot those ideas down. In any case, I would not worry about it too much. If you really want to involve yourself in that part of his life, buy a DVD that you think he would like, and wait for him to come home from work in fornt of the TV in nothing but one of his ties...and a smile.
2006-08-08 18:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably feels self-conscious. I know about most of my man's porn (don't care either, there are so much worse things he could be doing!) but there are several things he hides from me. I think he's afraid I'll think he's a freak or something, but I'm really just glad that he's honest about having it.
2006-08-08 18:56:37 · answer #11 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋