Hey well First of I am not gay, bi, curious or anything else like that. I don't know what the hell happened. I was hanging out talking with my fiance's dad got really drunk, and the next morning I woke up naked in bed with him. I know what you're gonna say that how do I know that we actually did anything together. Trust me I know. I wont say how, but I know. I have some memories about what happened that I wish I didn't have. I didn't say anything to her dad when I woke up. He was still asleep so I just left. I just don't know what to do. We're getting married next month. I know I have to tell her. I also know it's really gonna **** things up. I just don't know how to tell her, or what to do. Also, I don't know how to face her dad, and discuss it. Someone please help me with this mess. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it.
2006-08-08 18:44:17 · 13 answers · asked by Matt Harris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Telling her is the last thing to do! In telling her all you will be doing is hurting her. This is the nature of most confessions! They are not done to "be honest" but rather to remove the burden of the secret from the confessor. What happened, just happened, but your telling her will only diminish both you and her father in her eyes and cause her pain. Never confess, and if ever confronted by either her father or her....lie. Assuming that you didn't video the whole sordid thing, you are then in a position of plausable deniability.........deny, deny, deny...and NEVER CONFESS!
2006-08-08 18:49:31 · answer #1 · answered by old dude 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to keep your fiancee, you'll do two things, (1) don't tell her about it ever, and (2) have a serious talk with the father and get it straightened out. Tell him you aren't sure what happened and why, and be honest, tell him how much his daughter means to you and that it would be best to keep it to yourselves. See how he feels. If he is resistent, ask him if he wants his daughter to be happy, and if so why in the heck would he jeopardize her biggest day by letting this mistake out of the bag? Assuming you've already taken care of getting checked out by a doctor for and STDs (sorry, need to be real here), there shouldn't be any other issues besides that of guilt, but keep your chin up and take as much positive out of this as possible. Your life is just beginning, and there's much more to you and your future than letting a strange yet resolvable incident like this steer you the wrong way.
Stuff happens, life is strange, do what it takes to move on, and for goodness sakes, be positive. It will all work itself out, friend.
2006-08-09 02:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mark S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her dad, keep it between u and him. If you told her, it will definitely mess things around. If you are so sure that nothing happened, then you're ok. Live life knowing that it's done and forgotten. Let it linger and it will stick with you and plant things in your head. I know you love your fiance, so i would tell her dad that i'm doing this for her and it would help if nobody else knows about what just happened. I hope it makes a dent somewhere. Thanks!
2006-08-09 01:52:42 · answer #3 · answered by FillYaSoul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOH boy! I would ask Dr. Drew...he is the expert with this kind of stuff. If you don't get Loveline on the radio, you can look here to see when to call in:
http://www.westwoodone.com/loveline
Seriously, he's an expert with these tough sexual/relationship questions.
Do you think you were raped or in your vague memories were you into it? You may not be gay...then again, you could really be repressing your true feelings -- that DOES happen more than people realize.
I dunno...you definitely need to talk to some sort of doctor or sexual expert (besides the self-proclaimed ones on here)
2006-08-09 01:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious???
OMG. I'm sitting here, reading and rereading your question and I cannot find anything helpful to say to you honestly.
If I ever did ANYTHING with someone, especially my fiance's family memeber I would ....omg.
Especially since you're a guy and had a gay experience.
...the only thing I can see that could help you out is discreetly find out if the dad remembers anything if not or if he doesn't say anything then maybe it can go by as one of those things you NEVER EVER speak of.
Just feel her dad out. ((no pun intended)) See what he does/says.
2006-08-09 02:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that if you hide this, it will only get worse. Face him and explain it as it was, an incident that will never happen again. Then with all honesty, tell your fiance. Plan on postponing the wedding...things will need time to heal. Good Luck.
2006-08-09 01:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe this is something that is best kept between you and the father in law. where was her mother when this incident occurred? people do strange things when they are drunk, i would talk to the father in law first because obviously he has some issues, and you should examine your life before you get married and decide if that is what you really want.
2006-08-09 01:53:56 · answer #7 · answered by bumblebee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright buddy, I understand what happened, or I understand how it happened. Here is what you probably should do.
You need to tell her that's a fact. After that hope she understands, explain her everything. You'll just have to face the consquences, but if she really loves you. It will be okay.
2006-08-09 01:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is probably the most messed up thing that I have ever heard of. I'm tweaking so badly about even trying to figure this one out !
I dunno, if I was ever in your situation I would just leave and walk away from everything. It will come out again andwhat about family holidays ?
Wow !
2006-08-09 01:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by Baghdad Pete ! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It never happened. There is nothing to admit. Go on get married and have a happy life and don't mention this fag sh1t again. comprende?
2006-08-09 02:11:23 · answer #10 · answered by ne0aes0p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋