he tells me he has nothing to do with her.it's all in writing, he has been paying her bills and telling her kid's how much he misses and loves them. what should i do?
2006-08-08 18:29:33 · 25 answers · asked by bettie_rose_c12 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You need to decide if you trust him or not. If he has a relationship with his ex's kids, then it's not reasonable or fair for you to expect him to dump *them*! On the other hand, if he's communicating with her (beyond paying whatever bills he has promised to pay), you should investigate further. He may just be living up to his responsibilities...or it could be something more.
2006-08-08 19:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find out why he is lying about it. If he had a long term relationship with this woman, he may very well love and miss her kids and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Actually, I think that is a good quality for a guy who is expecting a baby to have. It shows that he does bond with and care for children. As far as him paying her bills is it because he's a nice guy and she really needs the help or is it because he is still "involved" with her? Maybe he is doing it because he cares about the kids and doesn't want them to go with out. What kind of bills are they? The real problem isn't so much that he is communicating with his ex, it's that he is not communicating honestly with you. Talk to him and try to find out why. Why he is lying, why he is paying her bills, and so on. Then decide what you should do. If he won't be honest with you then you need to decide if you want to be in this kind of relationship or not. GOOD LUCK - with him and your baby. I hope everything works out for the best. It usually does even if doesn't seem like it at the time.
2006-08-08 19:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found the girl of my dreams. And yes I happen to have an Ex Wife that I talk to on a regular basis. And yes, I even make her car payments. No, I have not even the slightest fantasy of returning to that relationship, but we are actually friends. We have a little boy between us and a respectful friendship helps to ease the child. My Girfriend was jealous a bit at first.. because my ex and I have things in common that we like to talk about... sports... music... whatever. But it's like I told my Girlfriend.... I'm fully invested in our reletionship and no one else can come between us. My son comes over every day... and my ex and my girl actually talk to one another. (It's just in the few minutes when she comes to pick up the boy, but..its civil)
Don't worry. I believe it's good for the kids for mom and dad to get along. ... And maybe your guy is just saying he wishes he could be with them and not necessarily back "home".
I hope I'm right. For both of your sake.
(congratulations on the pregnancy, by the way)
2006-08-08 19:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by theenormusnorm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie I feel for you! I went through a similar situation with my ex fiance. I found out too late that he was cheating with me while he was with his ex, and then he cheated on me with his current girlfriend. Put me out of our apartment while I was about 3 months pregnant. Left me with all the bills. Now I had a little boy whom I love dearly.
I'm not saying he's lying or not, but try as best you can to get to the bottom on the situation and if it turns out that he's cheating-regardless of how hard it can be-your best bet is to leave him. You cannot raise a child in that kind of enviroment, and God forbid if he decides to leave you, what will you do with a newborn child then?
Email me, if you need to talk.
Sasha_the_dragon_keeper@yahoo.com
2006-08-09 07:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you found out yesterday that he had an ex-?
or you found out yesterday you were pregnant and he is writing to his ex?
well, write to his ex-gf, and tell her fiance to send it by hand
tell his ex-gf, that your fiance will be a dad in 2 months and include all the hospital bills and maintenance for the next 21 years ..........
in the letter, tell your fiance gf , to give the bills to your fiance....so that he can pay for it too ... oh yes, don't forget to change the locks to the doors. GOOD LUCK
2006-08-08 18:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by Martin T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a little odd!!.....since you guys are engaged and are expecting a baby, I would suggest couples counceling before you tie the knot!! He shouldnt be communicating with his ex OR her kids (assuming they are not his kids)....you should talk to him and tell him that you dont think that is appropriate! If he doesnt get it...turn the tables around and ask him how much HE would like it if YOU were talking to your ex boyfriend the way he is talking to his ex!! Good Luck!!
2006-08-08 18:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say find out if he wants to be with you or not. My boyfriend left me when i was 3 months pregnant. I have done it all on my own, he came back for like 4 months and left again. It is hard but you get used to it, also if you have a great family it helps.
2006-08-08 20:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to say this but I wont trust him I went through the same thing but I was 5 months pregnant with our 4th child and our third child was currently in hospital with a hip infection. You have a child to look after leave him and move on. Im sure you dont want to see your child going up with a father who will keep doing it.
2006-08-08 18:34:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am or actually was just in the same exact situation as you. It has hard to trust and a relationship is built on that, I trusted my ex and it got my no where. In my opinion if he is with you then there is no need for anyone else. If you need someone to talk to I also need a friend.
2006-08-08 18:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by kmylander03 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of you have greater to stress approximately than that! to respond to your question you would be in charge on your individual scientific costs. with a bit of luck you have coverage if no longer be arranged to pay hundreds. Prenatal care is expensive! After the new child is born and a dna try proves he's the daddy you need to sue to get 0.5 of the a refund.
2016-09-29 01:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by oberlander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋