we have been married for 3 years, and she told me that she has been having an affair with a 41 year old doctor for nearly the whole 3 years (my wife is a nurse). i have always been good to her, spend all my $$$ on her and always give her all my attention. why would she leave me for a guy that is as old as her dad? i want an opinion as to why.....
2006-08-08 18:03:09 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
more $$$$
2006-08-08 18:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to know? The answer can actually be explained scientifically but many people refuse to accept it. Basically women don't like or respect men that respect them. It would take a long time to explain but if you ever take a look at any of those miraculous dating programs that can change your dating life around, or even just which guys are popular with women. It starts to become clear that obviously guys that treat women as human being either don't get the girl, don't keep the girl, or end up in a pussywhipped relationship where the girl orders them around(Quite popular in American culture). I frankly used to be kind of like you until I looked into the psyche that is the female mind. To tell you the truth I was disgusted and disheartened when I finally acknowledged the thuth. There is no such thing as love as how it exists in the storybooks. I know that the women who see this will probably think I am a male chauvinist pig, yada yada yada. Trust me it all goes back to our ancestoreal humans. She fell for the doctor because he had money, power, and because of the way he treated her(which if you want to get the girl isn't really nice). Anyway there is your opinion she left you because love doesn't exist. For example you could probably get her back. If a guy knows how to act and carry himself the women actually has no say in who she will "fall in love over". What I said probably pisses you off but it is the truth. There are three people: the one you refuses to accepted it, the one who does accept it and then becomes completely corrupt from it, or the one who accepts it and continues to practice prudence as well as other virtues.
2006-08-08 18:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She works at the same hospital where the doctor works, too, I assume. She sees him more often than yourself because she may be working 8 hours straight 6 days a week. She comes home to rest/sleep and she sees you for only a few hours... much shorter time than with the doctor. She talks to him more often than with you... then later they talk about material things... then later something intimate. You're left alone in the dark, my friend. You've lost your wife's affection without you knowing it.
It may also be possible that the doctor has been seducing or courting her ever since she started working in the hospital.
Money could be only a quarter of the real reason for her leaving you.
That's what I think as to why...
2006-08-08 22:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may not have ever really committed herself to your marriage, if she started her affair that long ago. If she did get involved with someone else that early it seems that inside she might not have been completely sure about getting married when she did, and afterward possibly felt she had made the wrong choice & should have stayed single.
Also, some women do tend to seek out older guys due to problematic relationships with their dads (abandonment issues). She may have known you loved her but not responded emotionally to you in the same way because of the unresolved things in her life. Sorry about your breakup, but there may be someone out there someday who will appreciate your good qualities.
2006-08-08 18:10:02 · answer #4 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically, the 41 year old guy is more mature and worldy than you. Sorry, but young guys think they are a lot more studly than they really are. Older guys are more sure of themselves, but not in a cocky way. They dress better, carry themselves better and know what a woman wants. For the most part they are better lovers because they put the woman first and understand her needs. My advice is to learn from it, mature from it, and realize that you deserve much better.
Sorry,and good luck....
2006-08-08 18:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by rando_59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion, the doctor was available for lunch meetings, and they weren't talking about patients. He also has a very large income. With someone nearly twice her age, she is almost guaranteed he will pass away first, leaving her a healthy insurance policy. It's about money and having office meetings. You did nothing wrong. She has the problem, not you. Be grateful she is leaving you now instead of continuing this charade. You now know you deserve better.
2006-08-08 18:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lanie Janie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a gold digger, you'll be better off without her. If I were you I'd start working on ruining the good doctor's reputation. People don't want to use a physician who has no moral values. A doctor in my hometown got caught boinking his nurse earlier this year. It cost him his marriage and his position at the hospital. He had to leave town.
2006-08-08 18:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by J P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband left me for a woman that was almost 18 years older than me. He was 26 and she was 44. I have always thought that it had to do with his relationship with his real mom. When he was growing up she was very cold to him and even as an adult he was always trying to do things that he hoped would win her approval. Basically, I think she was just a mean old *****. But, sadly he was never able to get over it. So, he was always looking for a woman that would be his mother AND have sex with him.
I don't know why your wife left you. But, generally love is a funny thing. Clearly, she has no respect for love or for you. You deserve better.
2006-08-08 18:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by Misty B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because she is a shallow, lying piece of trash apparently. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Too bad you can't get the money back...but at least, you can spend your moolah on yourself now...or at least until the next wife comes along!!! (Which hopefully, will be a way better person and worth the empty pockets)
Gee, maybe she was just tired of answering you over and over and over about the same question... ;-)
2006-08-08 18:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because she had no respect for your marriage. Im sorry to say it, but if she's been having an affair the entire time then its like she's doesn't have a respect for the vow you made to be truthful to eachother. Im sure you've been a good husband, but maybe marrying you wasn't right for her, and she felt like she needed to look for something else. Maybe its the money, or whatever is..in the end it doesnt matter, you deserve better!
2006-08-08 18:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by GC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There must have been something she NEEDED DESPARATELY from which is non-existent in the marriage. Did you or she withhold anything? No sane woman leaves her man who'd been really so good to her. Ask to see her (if she's still in communication) and chat (not fight) about it. Maybe then she'll reveal the truth to you? If she was having the affair with the dr. all those years, ask her why she still wanted to go into the marriage, during your chat.
2006-08-08 18:13:31 · answer #11 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋