husband...what would you do?

Question

IF you were married and after about a year your husband goes missing...no leads...no nothing...he vanished. So you wait a few years after the state gave you one of theose legal devoice thingys and you get remarried. Than a year or two later your first husband is found and he is alive. Which husband would you choose?

either way you have to hurt one of the people you are in love with...and no this is not a trick question...just a matter of opinion

the first one was missing

as in kidnapped

Answer 1

Wow, that would be tough. Me personally, I couldn't remarry.

Answer 2

Unless the first husband was kidnapped and held under duress for the last X years, I would never go back to him. I can't even begin to imagine the emotional and psychological torment one must go through to not know what happened to a loved one. Unless there is a VERY good explanation for the disappearance, I would never entertain the idea of going back to the first husband. Besides, why is this an issue? If the person has a legal divorce and is legally remarried, shouldn't the loyalties be with the second spouse?

Answer 3

Well... the answer depends on why the first husband went missing. If something bad had happened to him and he barely made it out alive then I would have to really think about it. The thing is no matter what it is so hard to pick up where you left off a couple years ago. And you don't want to betray husband number 2. That is tough. But if husband number 1 just left for no good reason, then I would stay with #2. It depends on so much.

Answer 4

well, I would think you should go with the second if you had a legal divorce and now have been married again. The reason being that the first husband disappeared for no reason. If he was in jail, he gets a phone call and should know his home number to be able to call you. If he was with friends or family, he should have been able to call you. The only acceptable excuse would be terrorists kidnapping him and holding him hostage. Even then, i'm sure you would ahve heard something. I would be skeptical of the first husband at this point because he may have been having an affair while living with another woman. He could ahve been hiding from the cops with a felony warrant against him. He may have committed some heinous crime or worse, be planning to commit one.

Answer 5

Have you seen the CAST AWAY movie? Tom Hanks and wife really had a tough choice. That would depend on how you feel with each other. But in this movie, GOD has been good and gave another plan and, I'm sure a much better plan for Tom Hanks.

In your story, how come he didn't make any communication? Was he sick or simply had abandoned you. He must EXPLAINED just to CLEAR matter. Or probably just like Tom , GOD has a better plan for both of you. Seek GOD's plan.

Answer 6

wow! kidnapped for years? I'd only believe that if and only if I had proof. Anyway you cant really trust answers from people on here because we dont know the WHOLE story and/or whats going on in your heart....or your complete past with these men...I'd just say follow your heart. Only you can make the ''right'' choice. Ask yourself, if you were to stay with the man of whom you remarried with, do you think you would be truly happy? How much would the fact that your old hubby would hurt, affect you? too much? not enough? do you care? And vise versa...if you were to leave your current hubby for the old, the consequences? their affect on YOU? .... ask yourself these questions and any others that might pop up in your head during the process....if you let your heart answer, youll end up with the man of whom you will be most happy with
good luck and best wishes :)

Answer 7

first of all I have to say how sorry i feel that you went through all that. I have very good idea on how that feels too because my first husband went missing as wel but not as long as that , turned out he was with my best friend. SO I guess that would all depend on how you feel about the first husband. but probably the second cause why did the first one just leave like that. was sick or just mean. probably stay with the new husband after a thing like that.

Answer 8

Goes missing then found...Where was he? Did he have amnesia or some sort of mental illness that kept him from contacting you? Do you have children by the first husband? Any children with the second husband?
I believe legally you are still married to the first man...
Now we are back to, where was he? For me, myself, his answer better be he was captured by space aliens and whisked to another planet.
If that isn't his answer keep husband number two. Re-Divorce the first husband for abandonment.

Answer 9

that would be tough , but I think I would stay with the one you have now . He has not left you or hurt you or put you in a bad spot, like the first one. I hope when he was found you kicked the S*** out of him for doing that to you
ask yourself these questions; Could you ever trust the first one again?
Could you hurt the second one like that by leaving him for the first one?

Answer 10

It would weigh heavily on the reasoning. If he left for no apparent reason or to be with someone else, continue on with your new hubby. If he disappeared because he was abducted by aliens, in a coma from an accident, or some other medical reason, you may have to follow your heart and consider taking him back. But dont put yourself into a situation where it may happen again.

Answer 11

There is no choice you stay with the one you are married to. The first one left and you got divorced. He has no say over your life anymore as he was as dumb as to leave you anyhow. If he's alive good for him...he needs to go away and leave you alone now. Time to make it very clear he is unwelcome in your life and if he persists in coming around you'll have a restraining order taken out on him.