Am, I wrong to feel guilty? Or did I do the right thing, I don't need this in my life, why do I feel guilty?

Question

An old girfriend of mine and I have started a relationship, I invited her up to my place for a few days, We came home last friday nite after having a great time, She got drunk and fell going up my stairs when we got home, I helped her up and asked if she was OK, She started crying and said I'm Ok just embarresed, I told her that's Ok, I got her to the bed and she just layed on the foot of the bed crying. I tried to get her to lay down and go to sleep and she sat up and slapped me across the face. I've never had a women hit me or have I ever hit a women. So I let her sleep but when she got up the next morning I told her the weekend was off and to pack her bags and go home That was Saturday, Today is Tue, she has been coming over at all hours banging on my door and calling my phone. I've kept my door locked so she can't get in, this afternoon she sat outside banging on my doors and windows and calling my phone for an hour I called the Police and had her escorted Away, Was I Wrong?

Answer 1

No you werent wrong. She hit you which is a crime (drunk or not) not to mention she is harrassing you by calling and showing up at all hours without permission. You did what you felt was safe and right so dont beat yourself up over it. She sounds like she may be mentally unstable so steer clear of her. If her behavior continues make sure you document everything-phone calls, visits without permission so that you can get a restraining order if need be.

Answer 2

No you are not wrong. I have a similar problem now with a guy who will leaves me notes on my car, notes on my fence, in my mail box, calls me all day, even with phone block he gets through and just won't take no for an answer. I don't want to see him anymore. But I haven't solved my problem yet either. This is going on for awhile now. I guess my next step is to get a restraining order. There is definitely something wrong with people who act like that. Oh and this guy is a Vodka drinker. So alcohol is definitely a factor with this kind of person. So far I've been ignoring him, but I know, there will be more notes tomorrow. It just seems to keep getting worse. I have been holding back myself from going to the police, hoping it will stop. It's just a matter of time now. Maybe we can get these two together, they sound perfect for each other.

No is no, anything else is an intrusion. You have the right not to want to see someone anymore and a normal person would respect you for your decision. It's called breaking up. If they hound you insensibly, then there is something wrong with that.

Answer 3

You did the right thing. She was entirely emotional, not ready for logic.

She seems very determined to have you tell her why, though. Perhaps, to help her grow and not make the same mistake again, you could write to her (letter or email). Let her know your perspective as a male and human.

Tell her how you felt, why you will not accept treatment like that, and why you did what you did.

Hopefully, in the sober light of day, she will learn and move on. Since you have a history together, she relates to you on some level. You must have cared too, years ago.

Take a few minutes, and help her out, in writing. It is a concrete form of communication that she cannot argue with. She can refer back to it, and hopefully mature. If not, you did your best!

Answer 4

You absolutely were not wrong, as long as there are no other details left out. The only thing is that you write that she just laid on the foot of the bed crying, then you tried to get her to lay down to sleep, but she was already laying down? That just confused me there a little bit, anyway, as long as you didn't maybe accidentally touch her where it would make her upset/scared, I don't see any reason why she would hit you like that. Try not to feel guilty if you know you didn't do anything wrong. I hope that she settles down, leaves you alone, and moves on.

Answer 5

I don't understand why she slapped you and I also don't understand why you won't answer the door or phone on her? The fact that she has been coming over at all hours trying to get a hold of you shows that she is probably still interested in you and like to get back with you in the relationship. Maybe the reason she slapped you was because of something wrong you did to her? Maybe you can also ask her why if you don't know?? I think that if you don't want to continue the relationship with her, then you should let her know clearly. She probably thought that you still wanted to continue the relationship with her because you both got together and you also invited her to your place and so after that, she kept trying to get a hold of you. You feel guilty because you feel like you have done something wrong. I think that you should let her know clearly if you don't want to continue the relationship, instead of leading her on to believe that you do. That's why she was trying to get a hold of you... I think that if you can make her understand that you don't want to continue the relationship, then she probably won't pester you again ... But, the fact that you called the police on her, probably made her understand a bit about your stand...

Answer 6

you recognize what you probably did replaced into incorrect. commence with the help of apologizing to all and distinctive you've harm contained in the finest month. you'll sense a lot more effective acceptable. besides the shown actuality that you probably did a stupid ingredient (does no longer advise your stupid) and something that replaced into incorrect, that's in straightforward words proving that you're human. i have carried out lots of issues i have regretted and for all and distinctive who stated that you immature and stupid. ignore about them because that's unlike they have under no circumstances made a dumb mistake in they're existence in the previous. Apologizing will make it more effective acceptable. issues do not fix themselves. tell them what you've instructed yahoo solutions. ignore about you being unpopular with the aid of the undeniable fact that is getting fairly selfish... yet keep in recommendations assistance on a thanks to smash an apology is with an excuse.

Answer 7

Maybe you should have been more straight up and honest with her about it. She is probaly really hurt, unsure why you kicked her out and is thinking with her emotions instead of her head. I think she at least deserves an explaination. She obviously still has feelings for you. If you dont feel the same stay away from her and dont lead her on. As for hitting you, not excusable but consider she was drunk

Answer 8

If she was drunk enough to fall down and cry uncontrollably, she probably did not have her wits about her regarding the slap (assuming you did nothing to provoke that). It seems a bit harsh to cut her off for a one-time isolated incident especially while inebriated. However, it's equally irrational to stake out someone's home and call them constantly. It sounds like you two broke up for a reason and it's best to stay apart.

Answer 9

I wouldn't say you were wrong, but it could have been handled differently. If you make it clear to her that you feel that she is harassing you, but that you would be willing to talk if she were to stop her current course of action, then go ahead. Try talking to her about the incident and explaining why you did what you did. You could always try couple's therapy, if you wanted to make sure that there was third, unbiased party. If she doesn't stop, get a restraining order. I'd try and work it out first though.

Answer 10

Rather then letting her go to sleeo you should have found out what was upsetting her then you would probably avoided the rest of the BS. Getting slapped across the face really should not have affected you the way that it did. Could it be that she still carries baggage from the first time that you went out?