My man told me that if I lost weight i'd look so much better.He must not love me right?

Question

If ur partner can't except you as you are that's not love...i'm thinking of calling it a wrap. I mean after 7 years and b/c I put on weight after my child and it keeps going up and down. that's not moral support. he says that when we fight he pokes fun at me for motivational purposes. I think not!

Answer 1

..sure he loves you, may be is just that he wants to see you like when he first met you. Women often let ourselves go after we got married and have children (I am a mother of 4) but my mother always told me: "Always try to look pretty and nice for your husband, remember that he goes outside and looks at other woman clean, nice and (as we don't like it thinner than us) come back home and the woman who sees at home is all....well not the most beautiful woman." So I always make sure to look as nice as I can be, I just had a baby in January I put up 55lbs, I started working out and eating more healthy and now I am down at 120lbs, I'm still 15 pounds over weight but haven't lost the goal, to look good for yourself and why not your husband too. Don't feel bad for what he says , prove him wrong. Take control of your health and start working out, if you have children try buying a DVD of some cardio, and put everybody to dance and play with you, I do that and makes me feel happier every time I exercise because I look better, Who knows...you could be a knock out any time soon and then...your husband will be very jealous...TRY TO TURN THE TABLE ON YOUR FAVOR!! Good luck

Answer 2

"Accepting someone as they are" doesn't have to do with their weight. This is an American concept that we made up to excuse overweight people.
Have you ever considered losing the weight? It's not as if it's doing you any good. Please pardon me if I'm coming across as insensitive, but I'm just trying to hammer home the point that neither your personality nor your soul lives within your excess weight. So if you equate "YOU" with your fat, then the answer to your question is "No, your man does not love you". But if you look at your true self, you will see that he really does want to motivate you to be your best, and you should give him a chance to love you at your best.

Your man might be an ***, granted--but listen! You have the power to lose that weight! Teach him a lesson by losing the weight and looking better than he does. You would be amazed at how quickly you can drop weight if you do the right things (by the way, going on a "diet" is a mistake a lot of people make.) Read my source material for some tips.

Answer 3

All women's bodies change after birth. Some are less likely to keep weight on, but the majority keep some on. It's a part of child bearing and we have to accept it. Your partner needs to accept it as well. Next time he pokes fun, tell him how it hurts you. It's not motivational, it's verbal abuse to most. He loves you, he just doesn't tell you what he wants to tell you in a kind, loving way.

Answer 4

Putting the obvious health issues aside, how do you feel about your weight? Does it bother you? And let's "reverse" the question for minute. Let's say you weighed 100 lbs. If he said he would love you more if you GAINED 50 or 75 lbs, would you do that? I think not. One thing I've learned, you can't change you to fit someone elses idea. Because then they want to change something else and before you know it, you're NOT you anymore.

Answer 5

It would be different if it was for health issues but it sounds like he wants you to lose weight to look better for him. He should of married you not just for your looks but your heart. Looks only go so far but on the other hand did he marry you thin and then you gained alot of wieght. He does have to be attracted to you. Try to dress up more then usual and see how is reaction is. He could lose his hair and you married him with a lot of hair. We are suppose to marry through thick and thin for richer or for poorer.

Answer 6

He may think he is motivating you, but he is nagging you about it. You are aware that you look different now. I am sure you would love to look like you did before the baby, but it takes time. He seems a little too preoccupied with your weight.

Answer 7

you need to tell him exactly what kind of motivational words you need --- some men are ignorant in that area.
A man wants his wife to look nice and be fit.... I would think you'd want him to look nice and be fit too ...it doesn't mean he doesn't love you but he shouldn't have to be looking at other women and wishing you were in better shape.
I love my husband too but I don't want him to over eat and weigh 300 pounds either!

Answer 8

Give him a break! He said he thinks you'd look BETTER, not that he doesn't love you or accept you!

Do you think you'd look better? Would it give you more confidence and self esteem?

We all get nasty when we fight, think about the things you say to him.

Do you really want to throw 7 years away over something so petty?

Answer 9

My first question is do you still love him?
Next do you think that he still loves you?
If your answers are yes, then try your best to keep your marriage together.
You might try talking to him , and telling he how hurt you get when he talks about your weight.
Only, if you think that you have a weight problem will you then try to do something about it.
Believe me, no one likes to be told by anyone that they need to loose weight. It does hurt.
But, only you can change things.

Answer 10

I would suggest to have more love making and more exercise and be happy with the family you have. Do not sweat the small stuff if you guys are in love keep going. Best of luck!