I have been seperated for 6 months now and well I just don't know how to handle this situation.. I am sooo freaking upset with him right now... I told him I am working on myself right now and until I am happy with myself I can't make anyone else happy. I am not in love with him anymore!!! But there isn't any thing wrong with dating other people and finding out what I want and who I am... hopefully that doesn't get taken the wrong way, but this is one of the reasons we seperated.. we grew apart and didn't know each other anymore.. but anyway I am getting to the point where I don't want to be around him too much anymore cuz I feel like he is always bringing me down.. He knows I am filing for the divorce soon, but today!!! he drew the line.. he text messaged me asking me if i wanted to have sex with him yes or no.... i was SHOCKED!!! i couldn't believe it!!! I was soooooooo mad... what should I do.. I gave him my word that I would wait till January to file, but he doesn't listen TO ME!
2006-08-08 15:44:37 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You sound as if you have decided to go your own way. Good for you. You don't need to be around someone who is putting pressure on you.
The sex thing is probably another one of his ways to try and keep the strings attached to you. I would suggest that you break the promise of waiting until January to file. Once you mind is made up you might as well file and get it over as soon as possible. Then he will not have the strings to pull.
2006-08-08 15:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been seperated for six months now, why are you waiting to file for a divorce? Either get back into your relationship and work it out, or go file the papers tomorrow! By not filing you are sending conflicting messages to your spouse. He probably thinks that there is still a chance and just has to figure out something new to try in order to win you back. Maybe the text message was him trying to be more assertive in a take control of the relationship kind of way. The message was definitely lacking in the manners department, but desperate men will try just about anything to get the attention of their estranged spouse. (Some go way too far!! Hope you don't have one of those!) Anyway, either make the effort to fix what is wrong in your relationship or give up and go file the papers! You might want to take a good look at why you two are at this point. I have a friend who keeps going from husband to husband. She enjoys the courtship, the attention, the romance, the marriage but then gets bored and allows herself to drift away from her spouse. This pattern has been repeated at least five times over the past twenty years! Be careful of falling into the trap that there is always something better out there. Everyone has their faults and sometimes it is best to stick with a relationship. By working out the problems together, you will create a bond that cannot be broken. Whatever your decision, I wish you the best of luck!
2006-08-08 23:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by funcd4play 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't take this the wrong way but seperating and then dating other people to fins out who youare is not the way that goes. All that means is you are not ready to settle, if you are seperated then you should be focusing on yourself and your marriage. Not dating and running around with other guys. Marriage is a serious thing, but this day and age it is taken so lightly, like well, is it doesn't work then we will just get divorced. Well it's alot of money and it puts everyone through hell, and once you do that you can never go back. I suggest getting a lawyer cause your husband has every right to do what he is doing. In marriage, you grow together and learn how to help the other person have there own indiviuality, and you help the person you love learn there way when they are lost, that is what you do when you love someone. Not try to find yourself throughanother mans penis, that just gets you even more lost. Good Luck in Life because you have alot to learn.
2006-08-08 22:57:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jolee N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...Men will be Men, when would they ever listen to us?
it seems like you already made up your mind....now let me tell you something...and please I don't wanna sound rude but...you left a door open...when you said that you just need some time off, you promised him you would file for divorce later,..honey you left him with a hope, may be he thinks you two still have a chance of getting back together. You need to be very clear on what you want, if you want to be left alone and file for divorce, obviously is because you are NOT in love with him anymore, maybe you still CARE for him but not love love, so my advice is just tell him straight up what you really want...BEING LEFT ALONE, and explain him that includes the sex! see...men are a little more ...mmm...slow ..so you gotta tell him exactly what you want. And don't be so shocked about him wanting sex , he feels safe with you...since he knows you, don't make a big deal out of it...if you see it this way...at least he enjoy having sex with you ..sooo he will miss it.
2006-08-08 23:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really sound confused, honestly you shouldn't dae anybody right now. In a marriage, until the papers have been signed stating it's over he still should be able to view you as his wife, just looking over your question you didn't make clear boundaries and why shouldn't he ask you for sex if your married? I'm sure you would be more at ends if he went outside the marriage, did he ever say he was seeing other people or was that something u assumed? communication and prayer!!
2006-08-08 22:52:22 · answer #5 · answered by nexus2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then tell him he just went over the line. That now you are filing for the divorce and that any contact he needs for you is through your lawyer. Good Bye. But make sure this is what you truly want. Good luck.
2006-08-08 22:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore his texts. Why are you waiting till January? If you already know you don't love him anymore, why are you dragging it out and letting him believe there is still hope?
I personally don't believe in divorce, and you should work it out. You must have loved him before, right, so what changed?
2006-08-08 22:50:17 · answer #7 · answered by mynickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that the only reason you are waiting around... to file for the dicorce is because of the TAX money.. and if this is true.. you are no better than a money grubbin winch.
oh and my ex still wants sex with me... we have been seperated for 6 years.. and he has some notion in his head that since i had his kids.. this is his forever...i know its not and my husband knows too... but what do ya do?
2006-08-08 22:56:33 · answer #8 · answered by ima Bbw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow,unless you are 125% sure you are not going back to him,file tomorrow. Get a good lawyer and kick the bum to the curb. If you have children, get custody of them. If not get alimony from the bum. See others if you want but be careful. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-08 22:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have sex with him and see if you can find the love that brought you together in the first place. Sex does it for me--every single time.
2006-08-08 22:50:43 · answer #10 · answered by ecutepup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋