2006-08-08 15:43:30 · 10 answers · asked by r89c79 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
You can't. Not really. You can only try to soften the blow as much as possible, but that in and of itself can be an extremely sticky situation.
One thing you should not do, if you are truly trying to be nice about it is not to attack their character in the process. A simply, "Sorry, I don't feel that way about you and I doubt I ever will," should, hopefully, suffice.
I hope this helps you.
2006-08-08 15:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by sayersong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the blatantly cruel to the gentle let-down:
1. I just don't feel it. The chemistry's not there
2. There's someone else
3. I love you as a friend, but I'm not in love with you--and I know I never will be.
4. I need a break from dating, socializing, the whole thing.
because I just don't have time right now, have been hurt in the past, am too crazy and mixed-up, or it's against my religion and my parents won't allow me to see you.
5. The tried and true: "It's not you;it's me."
2006-08-08 15:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Emmavoberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About as well as hitting your self with a frying pan. You can't tell a person you don't love them without hurting them, but you can be gentle but honest as soon as you find out their feelings for you. Its best to be honest right a way, then the other person can start the healing process and move on with their life.
2006-08-08 15:56:53 · answer #3 · answered by momofatsc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple you can't. especially if they love you but you can control how much they are hurt I guess. The most important thing to do is be honest with them.
Tell them strait up how you feel honesty is truly the best policy and don't ever tell mutual friends that you have before you have discussed this matter with the one who loves you.
Like I said there's no way to not hurt someone by telling them something like that.
2006-08-08 23:37:37 · answer #4 · answered by Bunnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. I've been on the receiving end many times and it just not an easy thing.
But the most important thing is to make it clear that you don't. Obsession is born from doubt and the thought that maybe that other person shares your feelings.
Let them know honestly, quickly and with kindness.
2006-08-08 17:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by KERMIT M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is...you don't really know. I met my significant other 12 years ago. I was not in love with him. I didn't even find him attractive, but whenever I was down, he was there. We went on like this for 7 years, just friends. I did not find him attractive. Sometimes I thought he was a bit on the daft side. But when I didn't have a date or if he didn't and we had to go to an activity of some sort or another, we would ask each other out. It was a wonderful relationship. One day he asked me why we never went out. I like tall guys and I like them with big shoulders and with a good sense of humor. He said he knew he wasn't as smart as me, but he cared about me. He caught me by surprise and I told him he was my friend. Then, something happened. I started to see him very differently. One day I asked him out. I mean, I asked him on a real date. We kissed and it was like a fairy tale. I realized then that sometimes you have to start out as friends to become lovers. Neither of us are ready for committment, so we love each other, but won't get married, but every day, we get closer and closer. Last trip to Vegas we even actually start talking about getting married by Elvis' Chapel of Love, but laughed in our drunkenness. It was Vegas after all. So, don't be to hasty. Let a friendship remain and let what happens happen. It may be nothing, but it may surprise you. (Oh, by the way, my 21 year old son, just married his friend of 9 years. They actually fell in love only 9 months ago. Or, was there really love all along? So, you can never tell. And, they look very happy together.)
2006-08-08 17:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if he/she is in love with you, there is no easy way and you really can't avoid hurting them. But you're doing the right thing by causing them some hurt now rather than being dishonest and leading them on. My father always said that doing the right thing was almost always doing the difficult thing.
2006-08-08 15:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by schenzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way he or she won't hurt is if they don't love you in the first place.
FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE KNOW THAT IT IS EASY TO START A LOVE AFFAIR BUT VERY HARD TO STOP IT.
So go easy next time.
2006-08-09 17:43:17 · answer #8 · answered by Freddy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you say or how you say it, it's going to hurt.
But always remember that although you are responsible for your actions, you're not responsible for another person's emotions. All you can do is be honest and be kind, and how they react is really up to them.
2006-08-08 16:02:08 · answer #9 · answered by joyfulpaints 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way would be if you can tell them that you failed to love them unconditionally, and they deserve better.
2006-08-08 17:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋