He gets very angry towards me and the kids. He puts a guilt trip on me. He can get violent when he wants to. He nevers listens to me. He calls me names etc.
2006-08-08 15:36:54 · 22 answers · asked by savemeritnow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When he has another one of his episodes, just take a look at your children and think of them and keep telling yourself they do not deserve this. They deserve better. Keep saying this over and over.
Now think of how he treats you. You don't deserve this and you deserve better also.
Please think of your children's safety and yours. Don't wait til he hurts you or one of the children before you have the courage to leave him.
2006-08-08 16:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by okiewenee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does NOT have the right to get violent. You, however, have the responsibility to make sure the kids are safe. DO IT RIGHT NOW, by whatever means necessary - call the cops for an escort, call your mom, call your big brother, whatever. You must not put those kids in danger a moment longer. That is not a matter of courage - it's a matter of doing right by them. I really don't give a rat's furry butt how long you've known him.
2006-08-08 22:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by theblondegenius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try marriage counseling first. Your company or his usually has this type where the company will pay for the first 4 visits with no copays, afterwards the insurance kicks in.
If he lost his job, someone has bad health...etc that stress may cause anger.
Communication works both ways, usually in a marriage both are at fault. Try to see a counselor first, unless of course you are in danger. Guilt trips can not happen unless you do something. You cant feel guilty unless you did something.
2006-08-08 22:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by circusdejojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, girl, GET OUT!! Did I say, GET OUT loud enough?? I lived with a situation similar to this for 17 years. And I finally had enough. ( after he threatened to blow up the house) I left w/ the kids, bought a house and two years later, am doing WONDERFUL!! Believe me when I tell you this, you CAN DO THIS. But no matter what answers anyone gives you, only you know when it is enough. There is life out there that does not involve abuse. And yes, it is rough at first but you have to think about your kids and yourself. Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? Oh, yes, he says he will change, but a leopard never changes! And have you ever seen an apple tree give pears? Wake up, please! Before it's too late!
2006-08-09 00:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by beth2fan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...You sound like you are suffering of domestic violence...and doesn't mean is just he hits you but he is mentally abusing you and perhaps your children, He knows what to say that gets to you...and that.. is make you feel guilty...like it was your fault that he is acting up.
Just think that you are a very strong woman, you have put up to his selfishness, and his insults for what it seems a very long time, take a good look at your children they deserve better...and may be that better is see you as a happy, successfully woman, you can do it....don't be afraid of the "WHAT IF..." . Talk to some people may be in your family or in your church and tell them what is going on, they might be able to help you ,legally and financially. Good Luck! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
2006-08-08 22:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not happy with your current living arrangements and you don't feel safe or happy anymore then you should just leave him, pack up the kids, grab what you can, get a friend to help, put it all in your car and never return
no one deserves to be treated this way and you shouldn't have to put up with it, thinking about leaving is not good enough you need to actually do it, don't be scared of leaving you may find happiness else where
good luck on what you decide to do i hope it all works out for you
and your children
2006-08-08 22:47:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy thats a long time to be together. Was this abuse sudden or did you live with this all your life.? If the answer is yes hes always been like that, then i applaud your realization to seek happiness. Counseling may help if your both willing. Know that you deserve to be treated kindly and so do your children.
2006-08-08 22:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See the door over there? Walk through it and don't look back. You and the kids don't deserve to be treated like that. Keep going and start to live in peace. It will be hard at first but once that is over you will be a lot happier. Good luck
2006-08-08 22:41:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get the courage you think of what he might do to your children and you. Pack bags for you and your kids, call a shelter if you have to and get out of there. Violence is something you don't mess around with. Don't think about it too much. Just do it. He is one of those men that keeps you at hand with fear. Don't let fear keep you there. Think of your children and what his anger is doing to them. Believe me, it's affecting them big time!! Do whatever you have to do to get out before one of you is physically harmed. Bless you.
2006-08-09 00:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the time to plan your escape route, set up a safe place to go. There should be a Domestic Violence program you can get in touch w/ that can set you on your way.
2006-08-08 22:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by workingclasshero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋