I'm married, 31yrs old and have a 3yr old. My marriage has been pretty rocky (we've been married 7 yrs and been together a total of 18 yrs). I've thought about divorce more than a few times in the past year. I want to have another child and my husband is a good dad. My kids would have the same father this way. I don't expect a baby to fix our marriage and I know it will put more stress on it. He's not against having another child right now. Any suggestions?
2006-08-08 13:27:27 · 18 answers · asked by hairsnipper 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well this seems to be very risky, you seem to know what you want , but just becuase yall want another child, if the relationship is in jeopardy dont you think that, it might be a little selfish to bring another child into this already very stressed marriage, for one its not healty for you or the baby and 2 you already know the rest. If your serious make your marriage and go to counseling and get the right help for yall both, if you wanna stay with this man and have another child then do it the right, sit down and talk about it until your blue in the face, love is so hard these days and its hard enough to love and care for a man and his children and never get the respect you deserve, but if ever there were any doubt in yalla head about one another then why have another child, its not fair to the other children if you guys are arguing and fighting all the time and with another one it just make things that much harder, please do alot of sole searching and let your heart guide into the right direction of life, you will get, and when you do you will know when the time will be right for you guys to have anbother child, but fix what is broken before something gets broken if you know what i mean good luck if you wanna you can email at cqueen742003@yahoo.com
2006-08-08 13:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by prettygirl new orleans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, if you divorced, your present child will not have much recollection of life before the divorce. I wont' even comment on the state of your marriage at this point. That's another entire issue. But let's assume you're divorcing. The more children you have, the harder your divorce......and life AFTER your divorce......will be. If you should happen to find another wonderful man to marry someday, you can have children with him......there's nothing wrong with it.......as a matter of fact, it'll be better. ONce divorced, it's easier to move on, date, recouperate.....if you only have one child. You will be able to have children in the future, why not have another child with someone who you feel secure and happy with? Having the same father isn't much consolation to children if they have two unhappy parents. And not to mention......if you truly want a divorce and plan on doing it, this new baby will delay that for a long time.......and it will also delay any chance of fixing the relationship if that's the way you go. It will put a large hurdle in your way.......and to me it sounds like you already have one in your way right now.
2006-08-08 13:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you would be using him for a sperm donor/father rather than a solid family for the future. If you know you won't be with this man forever, why would you bring another child in the world to experience the damaging effects of a divorce? All so your children can have the same last name? Sorry but your ego shouldn't factor into the decision. Get real with yourself and quit wasting time. Make your marriage stronger (go to counseling) or get it over with so that your child can adjust to the divorce while she or she is still young.
2006-08-08 13:34:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out and work on the marriage instead...your husband needs some babying at this point. Find what you had at one time...it is still there, but it will take a lot of work on both your parts. You are at a rocky stage in marriage, it will smooth out if you handle the situation well. Another child at this point will put even more strain on the marriage..not the wisest idea...Good luck. If you both work on the marriage for a year, a baby will be a blessing. At this stage, it will cause doom.
2006-08-08 13:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although the desire for you to have children is very strong, you must consider the child. How will your baby view marriage when he or she is grown if you are fairly sure you will divorce your husband? Ask yourself, is it fair of me to bring a child into the world, knowing that he or she will become the victim of a broken family? My advice then, would be to wait this out, really take time to consider every aspect of this decision before you make it.
2006-08-08 13:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by lovemandycandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bring another child into your rocky marriage! Think of the children, not yourself. No child likes to go through divorce or hear their parents fighting!
2006-08-08 13:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Princess Leia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let's see the real equation
rocky marriage
thought about divorce
a good dad
+ will add more stress on the marriage
____________________
= no do not have another baby
2006-08-08 13:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question, it will put a strain on the already strained relationship. And who's to say he won't walk while you're pregnant! I don't think that will be a good idea. Just try to repair the problems you have now, if another baby is in your future it will happen. Don't rush it. Good luck
2006-08-08 13:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by sunni1028 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not bring a child into a marriage that is loveless or rocky, even if he is a good father.
2006-08-08 13:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by haylsin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes a good father and both of you decided that you want another child then go for it, the longer you wait the harder and more complicated it'll get (having a child). Maybe having another will bring you guys closer.
best of luck.
2006-08-08 13:32:40 · answer #10 · answered by shabana0903 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋