Alright i have been a sexual relationship for over a year, and as a child i was sexualy abused. I am seeing a councler. My problem is that when i do things for my boyfriend i will some times slip back in memory to the age when that happened and have flash backs. my boyfriend understands this and doesen't put any pressure on me. But the thing is that i feel guilty when he does oral for me and i can't do that back, and when he gets blue balls. Hand jobs aren't the same.
2006-08-08 12:12:36 · 14 answers · asked by Carri 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
As a rape victim, I can empathize. I've had the very same problem. The point is, though, that he accepts you for who you are and understands what you've been through. You need to ask yourself why you should feel guilty for something you can't control? He seems to love you regardless, and you should focus on that as much as you can.
2006-08-08 12:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by fizzygod 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you really, really want to give your boyfriend an oral job, you and your bf should watch P0RN while you're doing it. Somehow, a part of your attention will be snatched by what's on your TV screen -- replacing your bad past experience with desire instead. Consider it as an experiment in your sexual relationship,too... as if you're exploring your sexual activity. Once you achieve your goal, it won't be as difficult as before the next time around. ^__^
Ref: My friend's neighbor's wife.
2006-08-09 06:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First,, blue balls are definitely NOT a myth, speaking from experience. Second, it is something you can mostly overcome with time and patience. I too had paralyzing sexual issues from my childhood to deal with, but with the right partner and time and a lot of introspection I now am very happy.
2006-08-08 19:23:50 · answer #3 · answered by Paladin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear that had happened to you. Maybe you need to get things out. Try talking to your parent if they already don't know. A minister or priest could help too. Or there should be an organization around your that could help. Good luck and don't think this is all your fault. It is that dirty person who did it to you.
2006-08-08 19:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by bobsdidi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to take my advise in your memory,'YES' we have to learn something from our past,"BRAVO" you are 'NOT' 1 of those who always regret by their problem themselves,.,its really good you are thinking about to remove your problem, but its not a major problem,
SIMPLE THERAPY>> look at the mirror when you were alone and start saying that now your live your existence is Valuable for some 1, your body organs your shape so keep improving your Charm and become fully Involve what ever your partner efforts<
2006-08-09 00:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by RAMBO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is happy and you have a good relationship then I would not worry. He sounds like he loves you and is willing to give you time to work your problems through to a resolution.
He could be a keeper.
2006-08-08 19:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by starting over 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Progress very slowly, and back off when you need to, and make sure that the place where you do it is different in all ways from where the abuse took place.
Minimize triggers. Play relaxing music.
2006-08-08 19:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by helixburger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blue balls are pretty much a myth.Tell your boyfriend to take a chill pill.
2006-08-08 19:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by hott.dawg™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are seeing a counselor, which is great.
Your husband doesn't put any pressure on you - great.
No need to feel guilty, just explore and take your time.
2006-08-08 19:18:43 · answer #9 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's too deep and personal for Yahoo Stupid Answers board. Discuss with your counselor.
2006-08-08 19:17:57 · answer #10 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋