I was so pissed my boyfriend and I were at a resturant and he told me that he had been cheating on me and he was going to leave me for a white woman because "I wasn't feeling his struggle","he only liked lighted-skinned,he also said some hurtful things about my family"they are too country and ghetto"(BTW my family is proper, he just said that becaus eof my country cousins) and he dumped me because I stopped relaxing my hair. WTF? How shallow is he? Why are so many Black men like this? I don't mind brother's dating white women but why do some of them have to bash their own women?
2006-08-08 12:09:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
the problem is with him not you. a black man who bashes his own has major issues with his own 'blackness'. how can a white women feel his struggle? what he really means is that a white woman will more so 'poo-poo' him and allow him to marinate in his own pity. if he has an issue with your natural hair, that is his problem. he, like many other black men, are mesmerized by western definition of beauty (ie: fried hair). what is more important is that you know who you are and move on..he's not worthy of you.
2006-08-08 12:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by diva 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question "Why are so many black men like this?" The fact of the matter is they aren't. It is the type of men you choose. I get so tired of people categorizing a whole group of people, whether it be men categorizing women or vice versa. What you have to go back and do is evaluate the kind of guys you are attracted to or are dating. Are they pretty boys? Are they superficial? What are there values? Then you need to turn around and ask the same things about yourself. If you want a happy and long lasting relationship. You may need to sit down and reevaluate your priorities. When it came to women that is what I had to do. It also helped when I invited Christ into my life. I am happy to say that I have been blessed with a wonderful wife and my life has been moving straigh ahead ever since. I feel your pain and I will be praying for you. This is the Caveman signing out. Peace and God bless.
2006-08-08 19:55:48 · answer #2 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend did you a great favor although right now it does not seem like it. You see, every minute you were with him was a minute of your life wasted. That is time that you can't get back.
I don't know what your lifestyle is like, but basically, get an education, get a job, get an apartment of your own. Show your independence. Don't settle for a mediocre guy. Find one who has proven his independence as well, because that shows responsibility. You do not want a guy who has no goals in life, no future, and who is just going to sleep around behind your back. You want a guy who wants to be somebody. You want a guy who wants to have a family and who loves your cooking and all of the other wonderful things that you have not experianced with that idiot that you were with.
Now to answer your question about bashing your own race...take a look around. It seems the sheer majority of black women are overweight, loud and obnoxious girls who forgot that it is ok to be nice and respectful. It would also seem that the sheer majority of black men all want to dress like a little rapper or thug and just barely get by with life. To them violence is an acceptable answer for paying the bills or whatever.
Don't limit yourself to that type of guy, since that sounds like the guy who just left you. You know what success looks like. Find it and embrace it back if it embraces you. If you've forgotten what success is, then just look in the mirror. I hope this helps. Be glad that you are no longer financing his..struggle..lol.. =)
2006-08-08 19:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by La Voce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to do is to examine yourself; as to why you tolerated and selected him as your boyfriend. You and anyone else on the face of the planet deserves better treatment. Move on and upgrade your selections next time. The problem with people who are in relationships, is that they don't know how to argue and make their point. Instead, they attack family and friends. It's impossible to modify someones behavior by challenging something they can't change. The white girl was an excuse to break-up with you; not the reason. Once again, move on and upgrade with your future selections.
2006-08-08 19:48:15 · answer #4 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's undeserving of you, simple as that!! I say he's making excuses. If he was a man, he wouldn't justify leaving you by comparison. If that was what he wanted, he shouldn't have gotten w/u in the first place. Not all Black men do this. To me, finding fault in Black women is no justification for dating outside your race. If you chose to date outside your race, do it because you found someone who you can be happy with, not because you hate your race!!
2006-08-08 19:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To goot how many black men or women do you actually know? Anywhooo..... I am open minded as far as dating other race and I feel that ppl who do not date their own race have self hate issues.
2006-08-08 19:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by RedDreads 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he change overnight or was he always a that much of a jerk? This is one of those things that's beyond skin color--you're just better off without him.
2006-08-08 19:19:33 · answer #7 · answered by byama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fudge w/ him. find urself a better man. U know u deserve a lot better.
2006-08-08 19:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by funkymonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋