I'm 26 male and insecure b/c I haven't had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or had sex with a girl. I get very nervous around attractive girls. I was a virgin until 23 when I met a guy online just to lose my virginity. I was w/ a guy b/c I didn't expect to be w/ a girl anytime soon. I've been w/ several guys since then, all met online. I fantasize and am attracted to girls, but cannot get with girls. Girls flirt w/ me, but I dont have the confidence to act. The only people that seem to want me are the guys I meet online. Sometime when I was 6-8 yrs old, my grandfather groped my crotch once. My grandmother saw and told me to never tell my parents, which I still haven't b/c my grandfather passed and it's a small issue. I remember being a sexual person even before this incident. I used to hang out with mostly girls and play with dolls b/c I wanted to be close to girl friends. Only after an adult counselor chided me did I start to hang out with guys only and become closed off to females.
2006-08-08 11:41:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
A camp counselor told me I shouldn't play dolls with girls, not a therapist type counselor. This was when I was 6 or 7.
2006-08-08 11:42:31 · update #1
You are straight and shy. The rest is immaterial. You are right, it is a small issue with your grandfather -- congratulations on recognizing it.
You are attracted to girls. For you having a guy satisfy you is no different from masturbating, so don't obsess on it -- do it or don't do it as you want.
Work on your shyness. You will have a girl soon enough.
Peace,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-08-08 14:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with justme. Please go talk to a counselor. and don't just accept anyone. The person must be gay-friendlyi so that if you realize you're gay or bi, the counselor won't judge you. They're not perfect either. Your grandfather was wrong - your grandmother was wrong. It's a shame you haven't discussed this with your folks. It might have helped you past some fears. If you're nervous around girls, try being in a mixed group of friends. It's easier to communicate if you don't have to worry about being judged or impressing anyone. Good luck BTW, you're probably bi - but I'm not the counselor. Learn to relax. It will help.
2006-08-12 03:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being molested is not a small incident in your life. I was molested by older kids in my elementary school when I was in first grade. I am still haunted by it. I began living dangerously, meeting guys online, which led to my eventual rape a year ago, which led to my promiscuity a bit afterwards, but I got better with counseling. I eventually found that I was more attracted to women than men. Being groped when I was little affected the rest of my life. I really do suggest counseling. It sounds like you have sex addiction, which is what I had. Don't be nervous with women. If they flirt with you as you say, it must mean you are definitely worthwhile.
2006-08-08 19:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that theirs nothing wrong here. You obviously have feelings for men yet fantasize about females. That is just your head thinking up stuff to make you seem like you are normal and just like every other normal human male that likes females. Maybe you are completely straight and b/c you are incapable of getting with a female you turn to getting with men as a mean of VALIDATION and self worth. If that's the case then just wait and be patient all good things come at their own time! If you have any other questions or anything to say to me please feel free to do so.
2006-08-08 18:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by Little_Major 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound really shy, but that almost seems too hard to believe. Grow some balls and walk up to a woman at a bar and offer to buy her a drink. The worst she can say is no. And the sleeping with guys things does not mean you're gay....just needed sexual release.
2006-08-08 23:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by JR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but you need to see a therapist. You have some intimacy issues with women. It sounds to me like you are not gay but since the men are the only ones giving you attention then you just go along with that.. but it is just sex. Being gay is not about sex.
You obviously would prefer women but like I said, you have some intimacy issues you need to work through with some therapy.
2006-08-08 19:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by BeachBum 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being groped by your grandfather is NOT A SMALL ISSUE.
Tell your parents before any more younger family members are engaged in any immoral behavior.
I believe you need counseling.
2006-08-08 18:50:09 · answer #7 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get a hooker? Pay some girl to do you? You are willing to have sex with someone you met online, who you say isn't the gender you prefer to have sex with... get some counseling or admit you are gay.
2006-08-08 19:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by theobromo77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel insecure about not being with a girl, please don't, there are lots of people out there who can sympathize and understand your situation completely, I hope someone helps you.
But knowing random strangers care about you just through the internet should help you a bit, haha.
2006-08-08 18:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by Adam G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your grandmother was wrong to tell you not to say anything. and it is not a small issue now because it is obviously still affecting you. please get some help before you end up dead. and please ignore the suuggestion about getting a hooker. there you are just using both you and her.
see a therapist who specializes in men who were abused as boys. if you aren't ready to tell your parents that is OK. but please, please get some help before you end up dead through AIDS or meeting up with the wrong guy.
2006-08-09 01:03:36 · answer #10 · answered by Justme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋