when i got pregnant with my first my fiance was estatic. well it isnt his. i was out with a family friend, we got druck and he raped me. then i found out that i was pregnant. i know that she isnt my fiances cuz we didnt have sex for 3 weeks prior or 2 weeks after. our child is now 4. should i even tell him?
2006-08-08 11:35:50 · 18 answers · asked by jrsgirl1964 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think so, she has a good dad in him, why bring more pain?
2006-08-08 11:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by missing_something 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the kind of story that if I answer it as I see it, you're not going to like it. I'll stop there and see how the others respond.
I waited. You have some support. The question that comes to my mind though is what happens after you're married, and 15 years from now your child (from the other person) has some routine blood test, or needs a medical procedure, or heredity problem, or 'something' that creates a situation where the child, now a young adult, is smart enough to figure these things out. What do you tell that child at that age? And how to do you explain it to your husband? I don't have even a suggested answer.
2006-08-08 11:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....that's hard to say. It will possibly come out later on, so why put it off. You don't want to go into the marriage with a secret that big though. All it is going to do is fester and mess things up for the 2 of you. It's not like you have cheated on him willingly and had sex with someone else. It was rape! A lot of times people don't say anything cuz they are scared...I know someone who has been at that situation. But be cautious about how you say it and when and where as well. It's going to hurt, but if he loves you enough to want to marry you, he will more than likely forgive you.
2006-08-08 11:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by R. J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhhh that's a hard one. If he finds out down the road he may be pissed that you never told him...if something comes up medically where the child (god forbid) needs a blood donor or something to where dna is needed...that might be touchy. I am sorry, i don't have an answer for you cause i don't know what i would do in the situation either. Regardless of what everyone on here tells you to do, you're going to do what you want and what you feel is right. Just think if the roles were reversed - would you want to know?
2006-08-08 11:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy CraP!! jeez.. stories like these don't make me feel ANY better about my girl hanging out with her guy friends alone. That's seriously ****** up.
Oh well.. you didn't have the balls to tell him then and now you are with 4 yr old that eventually won't have any resemblence to him.. I say don't bring it up until he realizes that lil inconsistancy.
ANYTHING that needs to be told should be. You call him your fiance but are you truly ready to be with him if you can't tell him something like that when it happens? and what happened to the "family friend", is he in jail or did you make up the rape story to save yourself the comments about how you are a wh0re?
You already ARE in a sh!t load of trouble so you mine as well call Maurie Povich and tell him that way cuz it's not going to be any bettter any other way
2006-08-08 11:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say a word until you have some investigation done. Have a paternity test done to see if you are right first. It's expensive and will be hard to get a sample of is DNA to use, but find out the facts first.
If not, go on the Maury show and let them take care of all this mess!
2006-08-08 11:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth if it is getting in the way. Be prepared for rejection and anger, but be sure to tell him that you were raped but you were ashamed to tell him at the time. This really should have come up sooner, but now it is eating you up inside. Consider having a mediator there with you when you tell him.
2006-08-08 12:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him, he has a right to know. If you were raped then it's not even your fault,it's not like you cheated on him. you really should tell him. Pray about it, and then tell him the truth. It is just awful that you were raped.
2006-08-08 11:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rape...........Right,
and I got my wife pregnant over the phone.
Was it good? Did you go back for seconds? What was the reason that you didn't press charges?
Now four years later you say " Oh, by the way honey..........." ! Not only did you F@#!K your husband around, but the child............................................. Damn!
2006-08-08 11:49:09 · answer #9 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should because if you are going to get married you should start fresh and if you was rape he should not be mad only thing is you should have waited 4 years to say something or think about sayin something
2006-08-08 11:48:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
um its a really horrible situation to be in, firstly you did not cheat on him, what happened to you was not your fault. tell him. at the end of the day he may be hurt, men are all one sided in these situations, but he will come around, have faith in yourself, you could not help what happened to you
2006-08-08 11:42:37 · answer #11 · answered by sweetlikehoney_73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋