So Im 21, and 12 weeks pregnant with my first child. Im not married, my boyfriend and I arnt doing so well right now( please no "well you shouldnt have had sex, you shouldnt be having babies unless your married" Look guys I feal bad enough, it happened, I cannot take it back, and its a baby not a choice, so I am going to have the baby and raise it.) Anyways it looks like Im going to be raising the baby on my own, and without alot of money may I add. I know I will be a good mom but I also know it is going to be very hard on my own. I want to know that it will be ok, and maby if its not prying, a few stories from single moms who have done it on their own.
2006-08-08 11:29:06 · 11 answers · asked by Angie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Hey! I'm 20 and 25 weeks pregnant... my boyfriend and I aren't married, and we struggle daily with issues that make me feel like we might not be together. You are alot like me, in that you realize what's done is done, and you've accepted that. I, too, am facing the possibility that I might be a single mom, doing this without child support... I also know I'm going to be a good mother, I'm strong enough to do this on my own. It will definitely be hard, but we can do it!! I know you'll be ok... You just have to stay strong. And just to let you know, around 10-16 weeks I felt really depressed and upset all the time, like I wasn't going to be able to do it alone. But after a while, I guess I got used to the idea. Now I'm confident that one way or the other, things are going to be fine for me and my baby. Just keep your head up, honey. The moods will change, and some days you might feel like you just can't do it... Then eventually, you'll just have this feeling of peace. Your baby doesn't know anything, all he/she will know is YOU and your love. That you will be the one nurturing him/her, feeding, changing, cuddling, etc. The baby isn't going to know if you're single or struggling.
And once you start feeling those little kicks (I have!), you'll start to feel strengthened. Like, "hey I'm NOT alone!! I have someone on my side!" It'll be a comfort to you, to sit there and hold your belly and feel your little one wiggling around, getting ready for this exciting world.
Stay positive, eat lots of fruits and veggies, drink water, and talk to your baby when you're sad, it will make you feel better.
Sorry I can't offer any actual "done it on my own" story, but I feel you. If you'd like some support or anything, even just to talk, you can contact me if you'd like... house4baby@yahoo.com
Good luck, best wishes sweeties. :)
2006-08-08 11:40:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you give this child your love, time and effort, you shouldn't feel badly. It will be hard but not impossible and you will find strength you didn't know you had. The people that will criticize you, and there will be many on this board as well as in life, are types that would damn you no matter what choice you made, so brush them aside. Remember to continue with your goals, they may take longer now, but they are still attainable. Society will treat you like you're all washed up now, you're not. And no matter what anyone says, having a child that will be loved and cared for but happens to be unplanned is a miracle just the same. Don't live in the past or in regret, you have a lot of life and love to look forward to. Remember to enjoy it and live in today. Best wishes!
2006-08-08 11:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by Jojos Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetie,
Its ok, it will be hard for you and this is the truth but when u see your bundle of joy u will do anything to make sure that he or she is taken cared of. I am a single parent and a student and doing it on my own, when I got pregnant I had no high school diploma no job nothing. And the father wasnt ready to be a dad so could u imagine and im from the caribbean we dont have welfare or anything. I did odd jobs here and there got a few handouts. When the baby was born I got my high school diploma and got a job as a teacher and now im at college training to be a professional teacher. As long as u push yourself and make sacrifices you will be fine I promise.
2006-08-08 11:35:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl i felt the same way u did .. me and my husband are barley makeing it ends now and im gettin ready to have a baby in oct...you will be find dont let no one tell u different!!! money is nothing to a baby its all about love and i bet once you tell ur mom she will be happy and she will share stories with u about u when u were younger....and also there are many of programs out there that help people .. i dont know where ur from but if u are from the usa theres goverment programs.. im in at lease 3 myself theres ones that help u with food while ur pregnant and i get medical from welfare and i cant rememeber the other one but i have never been through this before... im always the one who has money and gets what ever i need (not spoild) but as u know babys and diapers arent cheap....... can i give u a suggestion... when he/she is born breastfeed...... its a whole lot cheaper.. but its only a suggestion
2006-08-08 11:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by lionqueen182005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that myself. I was 23 when I had my son. It was hard, really hard, but I'm now 31, married and he's 7 and he's awesome! His sperm donor was never involved (I call him a sperm donor because that's all he donated ;) ) so it was just he and I against the world. If given a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. There's a great group on yahoogroups called SingleMothering. Check them out and join. I was on there for 5 years and then joined a sub group after I got married. awesome girls. Best of luck to you and remember that when it gets tough, you have more strength in you than you could possibly imagine.
2006-08-08 11:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by Canadian chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will do fine as long as every day you love that child. And let the child know you love them. Spoil with love and not gifts. As long as you love and know that God will provide you with what you need you will be fine.
I am not a single parent, but I know the struggles.
There was a time when I was about to run out of diapers and was afraid because I new we couldn't buy them, because we had no money after bill (we ate at my mother in laws for those two weeks because we couldn't even afford groceries), and I was worried because how was I going to get them and not put us overdrawn on our account. My husband came home and a customer he worked for that day gave him a tip ( he normally does not get tips.) Enough to buy a BIG box of diapers. God works in mysterious ways and he will watch out for you as long as you keep him close to you.
2006-08-08 11:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local WIC department or Medicaid if you don't already have it. Usually with wic they have different classes they offer and you can earn points for free stuff. Some of your local churches off things like this also. Take a breast feeding course and breast feed if possible I did it with twins and it keeps them and you healthier.
Good luck the first 9 months was hard for me but I was raising twins by myself no family or anything. Now they are 4 and its great.
2006-08-08 11:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by T S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm definitely not gonna lecture you its not my place and things happen and times have changed. I am not a singe mom, but I know so many women who have been ....Pick yourself up and let your baby motivate you...You never know what will happen between you and the father things can improve, and I am a firm believer that prayers change things. so pray and give it to GOD!
*By the way try to apply for medicaid so your baby can get the proper health care if your income is low...God bless you*
2006-08-08 11:35:28 · answer #8 · answered by pregnant & praying now has baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath, hun. It's going to be ok. I'm a single mom, and couldn't be happier. :) There is no other parents to argue with you about your decisions, or undermine your authority, etc. Besides, we make up 27% of households with children. ;-) It's really not as hard as it sounds -- especially when you have supportive friends. Besides, your kid will always be with you until he/she grows up, so you're not alone!!
Are you planning to breastfeed and cloth diaper? You will save a LOT of money. (on formula as well as health care) One website that will help keep you frugal is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wastenothing/
Also there's http://fernandfaerie.com/frugaldiapering.html
Best of luck to you! If you ever need someone to talk to, just message me. :-) I'll be happy to recieve it.
2006-08-08 11:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by erthe_mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi iam a single mum and its not easy at times but its possible to be a great parent on own you shouldnt worry kids need lots of love not lots of money my kids good luck
2006-08-08 11:38:30 · answer #10 · answered by fear_fox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋