i want to know how do i go about keeping my house,that i've made all payments for and insursance,and taxes by myself for 15 yrs. and do i need a lawer or will a meadeater work in my case.Im only in the middle class income,with no retirement plan in place.
2006-08-08 10:51:54 · 28 answers · asked by Chris m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You would need the advice of an attorney for the state you live in. The state I live in everything is split 50/50, she has been your wife for 26 yrs and raised children, etc. Even if you made all of the payments on the house, it is still her house too. Plus, if she stayed home and raised children and didn't work......you more than likely will be paying her alimony monthly. What did you think......you could just stick it out and then dump her? How does she feel about this or does she even know!!!!
2006-08-08 10:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, no problem. Once you tell her, and if she is somewhat on the same page, you two need to sit down with a paralegal or mediator and work things out right down th the last detail. First, figure out what it is you can depart with in return keep the house. This will work because you have no at home children otherwise it would be all over. You will learn the fine art of compromise in this action. This is your best bet otherwise if it goes to court, the judge could order you to sell the house and split it 50/50. You can also offer to buy her out, hopefully a whole lot less than half the appraisal value. Also, if youre the breadwinner you will probably have to pay spousal support. Divorces arent cheap nowadays in more then one way. But what you can settle before going to court will help you both save money and time and the judges love it. Just be prepared, youre about to find out why more couples dont go thru with divorces. Good luck
2006-08-08 18:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you but, you didn't make those payments by yourself. If you had paid your wife for all the work she has done in your home you'd be far in debt. You had the luxury of going out in the work force and feeling good about accomplishing something and earning a paycheck. Sounds like she didn't have that luxury and although worked many more hours than you put in ... and never received a paycheck. She was probably content because she had a wonderful husband and family and sacrificed herself for her family. Now you want to take all that away from her.? Maybe if you respected your wife and treated her like a human being then she wouldn't have turned out cold toward you. Sounds like the reason for this divorce is on you and you don't deserve a thing. If you want out then you should start over. I'd feel the same if the situation was the same and the sexes were reversed.
2006-08-08 18:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your wife goes for all that you definitely need a lawyer, and the two of you made the payments regardless of who actually earned the actual cash, thats what marriage is...unless of course she went back over the last 26 years and presented you with a bill for her services, babysitting, meal preparation, laundary services, sexual favors, personal shopper, decorator, book keeper, and anything else you would have had to get elsewhere if she hadn't been there. Hmm I wonder what that bill would look like, I read somewhere that if paid for their services a stay at home mom would actually earn a little over $100,000 a year, soooooo multiply that by 26 years and whew and no middle class guy without so much as a retirement fund in place could possibly have afforded it, I'm thinking if you do the math you will find that you are actually in debt to her!
2006-08-08 18:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to do a trade off I'm afraid,cause she's entitled too. Most men agree to lose the house and keep the retirement. Some men don't even get that. The only way a mediator will work is if she agrees with your proposal, but ya better make it even as you can. If she won't agree to you keeping the house you will need a lawyer. She did do all the house work and kept you happy for those years didn't she? You are supposed to provide for your family in the ways you did and you probably did it happily. She fed you and the kids and cleaned, wiped, sexed and all that crap. Decide what is fair.
2006-08-08 18:02:46 · answer #5 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter who made the payments, especially after 26 years. The only way I see you keeping your house is if your soon to be ex, doesn't want it. It sounds as if your wife didn't work, or didn't earn a whole lot of money and everything you've earned, put into the house is mutual under the law. Good luck. Unless your wife cheated on you or something blameful. I don't see it working in your favor. And yes, you do need a divorce attorney.
by the way, you are looking at it all wrong when you said you did it all by yourself, as much as you see that "finacially", you made an agreement to be part owner of everything once you got married. The only way out of it is a prenupt and it doesn't sound like you have one of those and it doesn't always work.
2006-08-08 18:01:53 · answer #6 · answered by xolodnyj 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be forced to sell the home and split the proceeds. This is pretty common in a divorce when the couple will not agree to who gets the home, which it sounds as though both of you won't.
The only way you would be able to keep it, is to buy your wife out of her fair share. If she won't work out a payment plan with you, then you will probley have to mortgage it to get the amount you need so you are paying for it all over again.
Better to sell, take what you can get and get a smaller home.
2006-08-08 18:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why run now? What's out there that you think you haven't seen in 51 years. You've done what most people haven't done after three marriages.
But to answer your question, You're gonna need a "Good Lawyer" because half of the money you spent on the mortgage, insurance and taxes was hers.
You are old enough to know that; "It's cheaper to keep her",
Believe me, when I say
"I didn't have nothing when I got married, now that I'm divorced I only have half of that.
2006-08-08 18:19:01 · answer #8 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of questions...first of all, does your wife work? If not, you are going to be stuck paying alimony in most states. What state are you in? Divorce laws are different in many states. A lawyer is the best way to go, especially if your wife is NOT in agreement with getting a divorce. Only way you will be able to keep your house though, is if you buy out her half of it. Most states have community property laws, or laws that will grant the house to the wife. If you have no retirement plan, and you are over 50, you would be better off staying married...it is hell to start all over again at your age. Plus, dating is pretty tough. Unless life with your spouse is intolerable, try to work it out. Seriously.
2006-08-08 17:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by loriahaven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is tough...
use a mediator if you know that she will be compliant, mediators are a good alternative to actually getting a lawyer and paying all kinds of lawyer fees. For one, have you talked to her about keeping the house? if she agrees to you keeping the house, then settle with a mediator, but if you want the house and she is going to fight tooth and nail, you might wanna get a good lawyer. Ive been through a divorce before. But it was a clean split divorce, we each knew what we wanted and didnt want so it wasnt all that hard, the legal process anyways, but lawyer fees are OUTRAGEOUS!!
2006-08-08 18:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋