I'm kinda depressed right now because, my mom is going if for pituitary tumor removal surgery and my dad and, I are fighting, so I need to laugh... tell me a joke, a story... anything... please. 10pts, to the funniest!!
2006-08-08 10:16:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
well im going 2 tell u a joke that my dad always says.there was three guys in a dessert and they told each other 2 take something useful so the 3 guys took something.the first guy took water the 2 other guys asked him y he took it so he said 4 i wont get thirsty.the second guy took food he said he took it 4 he wont get hungry.the third guy took a car door.the first 2 guys asked him y he took it he said 4 if it gets hot that he rolls the window down.!?
2006-08-08 10:32:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 4⤋
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1012597019&Mytoken=C2676ACA-E1E7-8AF8-2C42126E360E44438251388
If you can watch that. It's a kid i worked with. He's ten and goes to an all catholic school. And thinks he's gangster. =) hope it works.
Sorry about your problems.
Plus I'm kind of down too. My moms step brother.. my uncle died in Iraq yesterday. So still getting through it. But this makes me laugh anyways. Maybe just because i know the kid.
Oh and heres a joke...
so three girls are trapped on a desserted island. A blonde a brunette and a red head. And there walking along the beach when they come along a lamp. So they decide to rub it and see if a genie will appear. And POOF a genie pops up and says I am a magical genie and i will grant three wishes so i guess that means one for each of you.
So the Brunette goes first... she says i wish i was back home with my husband and kids! And Poof she dissappears off the island and is back at home.
the red head goes next... i wish i was home with my family. And poof shes back at hom.
and the blonde starts crying =;( (like that)
and the genie says whats wrong dear?
and she says i wish my friends were still here!
2006-08-08 10:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by Katie K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"""10 Husbands, Still a Virgin"""
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
2006-08-08 10:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jubei 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this couple came home from a late night dinner and they were feeling real good. the husband new he was gonna get some. the wife enters the bedroom and takes off her shoes, while her husband goes to run a bubble bath for the both of them. He hears his wife scream and runs out of the bathroom where he sees this man with a knife to his wifes throat. He says don't move or I'll kill her, he then ties them both to the bed and climbs on top of the wife and begins to whisper in her ear. Suddenly he jumps up and runs into the bathroom. The husband tells the wife to stay calm and give him anything he wants, even sex! Then he asked her what he whispered in her ear and she says " he thought you were really cute and he asked me where the vaseline was?" "Stay calm honey and give him anything he wants even if its sex!"
2006-08-08 10:27:28 · answer #4 · answered by BREIZY2SHA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Atheist and The Shark there is this atheist swimming contained in the sea. unexpectedly he sees a shark contained in the water, so he starts swimming furiously in direction of his boat. As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head in direction of him. he's scared to dying, and as he sees the jaws of the super white beast open, revealing its undesirable tooth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! shop me!" in an on the spot, time is frozen and a bright easy shines down from above. the guy is immobile contained in the water whilst he hears the voice of God say, "you're an atheist. Why do you call upon me once you do not have faith in me?" puzzled, and understanding he can no longer lie, the guy replies, "nicely, that's genuine i've got not got faith in you, yet how in regards to the shark? are you able to're making the shark have faith in you?" The Lord replies, "As you like," and the easy retracts back into the heavens. the guy feels the water circulate as quickly as returned. because of the fact the atheist looks back, he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, whilst all of unexpected the shark stops and pulls back. shocked, the guy watches because of the fact the extensive beast lowers its eyes, bows its head and says, "thank you Lord for this nutrition which i'm approximately to acquire..." time for supper!!
2016-09-29 01:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by catherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear what u are going threw...
got o jokes.com maybe it can help i dont know many jokes soo..
what are 2 things a guy will not let his friends barrow???
his woman and his truck. cause u can throw a rod in either of them
lmao get it??
2006-08-08 10:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nahhh u shouldnt get sad she'll b kk but 2 make u laugh ?? my beagle chases my kitten around like a race track
2006-08-08 10:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got married had a kid got divorced met a girl in chat room got together had a kid and she is still wiv me why why why i think its time to get a new model with less miles on the clock
zombie :)
2006-08-08 10:20:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom will get bettter as long as you pray for her.
ok now i will tell you something funny about me:
my first kiss was in 6th grade in front of all my friends with my very first boyfriend. we were very nervous. so he came up to me and closed his eyes and i closed mine and he went to kiss me with his mouth open and i thought it was going to be a peck so he ended up slobbering all over my face and all my friends were laughing at us. needless to say we never tried that again.
2006-08-08 10:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by RocKsTaR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. I wish I could help. All I can say is....
SMILE! ;) (: 'Cause things will get better!
2006-08-08 10:22:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋