I am a 26 yr old Virgin...yeah believe it...!!! Its part religion & part scared of mean guys, STI's and pregnancy...but now I met this awesome guy who has been sexually active right from 12...!!! He is patient with my ideology of no pre-marital sex but worried I am missing out on life and should explore it. He also says we need physical intimacy to build our relationship... I'm worried it might me true...but I am so scared of trying it...I'm scared i'll become a different person...like i won't be whole anymore...What should I do...? What should we do...I really do want to have sex if its the right thing to do...but I have lived for 26 years thinking otherwise...and I also have 2 younger sisters that look up to me...I wouldn't want to be a bad example to them...Can anyone advise me on this...on first times...anything that can help me make up my mind...???
2006-08-08 10:12:04 · 29 answers · asked by chomie3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO! Wait until you are married! Please wait! bye
2006-08-08 10:15:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
if the problem with you isn't particularly of religious origin, i think you're just afraid. you've heard too many worrying stories about bad guys that leave after sex. Most men are not bad. And if he's patient with you for a wile now, i suppose you can just trust him. If he was with you for sex, he'd left already. I think that there's nothing wrong with having sex on your 26. In biological terms woman can best have babies before their 30th. If you eventually would marry this guy you'd have to go though the burden of the first time anyway. But sex is nothing to be afraid of, it's there to enjoy. You will even feel more complete once you have felt love though sex. I promise you. But good sex starts between the ears. You're the one in control there. You could explain to your sisters that physical relations out of love can never be wrong.
To prevent getting a sti and getting pregnant, always each and every time use a condom. If you are afraid, or just want to be sure your bf has no sti, ask him to go to the doctor and take the necessary tests. If he's really sympathetic with you and wants physical with you, he should also be understanding towards your position and do this for you. Good luck and have fun!
2006-08-08 10:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Caveman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have waited this long..Don't ruin it over some hungry getting virgin guy..Don't mean to sound rude or dog some guy out I know nothing about. However..don't over look the fact he's been active since the age of 12, and says the relationship should be built on physical intimacy. That's bull. The problem with people today, end sleeping together before learning how to spell their name or 30 minutes within meeting them.
It sounds like this guy is only out for one thing... For him it's probably having sex with another person, who's a virgin..it's the ultimate...They get to say I was the first one, etc. Regardless of the age..
The reason you have waited this long is for religion reasons, scared of guys taking advantage of you, and contracting some disease such as HIV..
Believe it or not..there's a reason why sex should not be before marriage. It's written in the bible to protect us..AND doing so are often consequences you can't avoid.
The worst could happen here, and you have no way of knowing..No matter how awesome he is, no matter how much he says all the right things..This could just be a front to be your first..Back to what could happen..
1. He could just want to be with you because you are a virgin.
2. Contract some STD (HIV, Herpes, etc).
3. Become pregnant by some sperm donor.
When having sex outside of marriage, you never know what you are getting yourself into. Trust me! So please with all due respect, I'm very proud of you, and wish I would've waited to have sex before marrying my husband. It's the best gift you could give any husband or any wife..
2006-08-08 10:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like if he's been active since 12, he probably has a lot to do with the things you're scared about (aka STD and user guy). Don't have sex with him. Not now.
I was active when I was 16 with a really awesome boyfriend, and even though I was 10 years younger, the results were the same. I was more attached to him and began overlooking obvious traits that I would have otherwise run away from. I became addicted to the feelings sex gave me and it took me a very long time to get over that hole in my life.
Do yourself a favor--wait. Be a good example to your sisters. You might want it now, but later you'll regret that you didn't save yourself.
2006-08-08 10:20:21 · answer #4 · answered by corkymusic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sex is one thing that should never be rushed...we live in a society that builds money around sex in the media...and it is common for people to believe you should have it all the time...and being a virgin is bad and so forth. if people spent less time worried about sex in relationships and more time building a good relationship in all aspects and not just the physical, ppl would probably be happier and feel more whole instead of girls feeling like they're used all the time and so forth. however, sex is also a natural and beautiful thing. i know people who are not whores but are just very sexual people. they are responsible about it, using condoms and birth control... and even if you are religious and have two younger sisters, as long as you are mature about it they should still respect you and look up to you... plus you only live once, don't let anyone tell you that you should wait for "marriage" if you are mature and an adult.. what if you don't marry someone til your 40..you shouldn't hold back on life's experiences b/c of what someone tells you.. you won't go to hell if you want to experience something so beautiful with someone special..
2006-08-08 10:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by hey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he encourages you a lot to do it, chances are he's looking for a piece of *** or to "conquer the virgin".....if that's the case, don't do it. Sex is something that adds to the bond of a relationship between two people that truly love each other and are in it for the long term. If you decide to do it, make sure to use a condom - STD's are one of the most humiliating things you can go through.
As far as your little sisters, I would hope you wouldn't run to them and tell them if you did it. It's a private matter and them looking up to you shouldn't change because they won't even know it happened.
2006-08-08 10:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are definately behind the curve. Most people think that if you havent had sex by the time your 22 then there is something wrong with you.
Sex will be awful with you due to your inexperience.
Hopefully he has patience.
Get a book with pictures. Check out the positions.
Make sure you know what is expected of you and the acts that you will be expected to perform.
2006-08-08 10:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by creskin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have never had a first time yet i am waiting until i find the perfect guy and when i marry him. i want to save that for him and only him. God gave that to us to share with the person that we get married to its right in the bible. in Genesis it talks about how a man will leave his family and will become united with his wife and they will become on flesh ive always been told that if you have sex before marrige it ruins your whole marrige to the man that you get married too. i don't know if this is true but i personally would rather be safe than sorry. im saving that for my husband and for him only even if i have to wait till im 30 thats one thing im saving! so i hope you make a decision that is in your heart! follow that! i hope every thing works out! God Bless
2006-08-08 10:27:16 · answer #8 · answered by 4 months old boy, 21 lbs, 12 oz. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you've gone this far, and are getting married, save it for the wedding bed. If he's been active since 12, he's probably just after a piece of *** and will probably give you herpes, HPV, and other nasty stuff. Just let him do oral on you and rip a nasty fart on him when he does.
2006-08-08 10:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by loon_mallet_wielder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have sex cuz there are 3 main things ppl get divorced about. Money, religion and sex. You might as well get through the sex part instead of get married then find out you aren't compatable.
2006-08-08 10:18:03 · answer #10 · answered by nudistfamilyrus 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be careful of diseases, ask him for a exam, because he has been sexually active since he was 12, so that means that if u have sex with him u are going to have sex with all the people he had sex, multiple sex, so be careful, and yes i am pretty sure u will change a lil, u Will think different, but that is something that u have to pass Thu, OK so take care, byeee.
2006-08-08 10:19:09 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋