my fiance got 5 tickets last week and less than a month after getting a DUI. He is needing to pay a lot of money to a lawyer to try and get out of a DUI by not going to jail, he got upset because i bought my kids school clothes and supplies with child support money ($400 worth) then when i told him i had $7 left, he wants to know what i did with all the money out of my paycheck, paid car payment, groceries, gas, and a few small bills. but yet i am supposed to suffer and my children also because of his stupidity. dont even know what will happen with the latest tickets he got, one is reckless driving and attempt to evade police. he seems so selfish. i have already been trying to find a part time job in addition to my full time job, school fulltime ,and 2 children to take care of. why do men do this? why is he doing this to me? is this love? should i have to pay for his stupid mistakes? and he tells ME to grow up? whats your take on this...he is an alcoholic.
2006-08-08 10:04:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can you say "Soap Opera?" My husband does a lot of stupid things but nothing that dumb. my husband just waits until his tickets turn into bench warrants.
I pay the tickets because he provides for the family and is the only source of income, so him being in jail would do me no good. Your husband sounds selfish though. Your kids do come first and for him to think it's him is really sad.
He needs to grow up and you need to move on. Is he setting a good example for your kids? they follow in their family's footsteps you know?
2006-08-08 10:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by ~SSIRREN~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him first think child support is just that "CHILD" support that money is for your kids and if they need clothes and stuff for school then that is what you spend it on...Your ex~husband shouldn't let his kids do without because this man is being stupid and getting in trouble all the time!!! I say tell him to hit the road but, by the sounds of it he will be leaving soon after all those tickets maybe lookin at jail time... then there is your ticket out!!! Good Luck!!!
2006-08-08 17:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he cares about no one but himself and therefore should BE BY HIMSELF! He is doing nothing of any value for you OR your children and it is NOT your responsibility to pay for his ignorant mistakes. Leave and let him take on his own stuff! Don't you DARE give him ! SINGLE PENNY to help him pay what ever fines, tickets, etc. he owes! That is for HIM to do. HE DID IT, LET HIM PAY FOR IT! You are OBVIOUSLY grown up, despite his ignorant belief that you are not! No one deserves to take this abuse and your children do not deserve to watch it either! It is hurting you AND them! GET OUT! You CAN do it on your own without killing yourself to do it. If you need further advice on THAT issue, I have some and would be willing to share and help in what ever way I can. The child support thing REALLY IRKS me because that is your childrens' money, NOT HIS! He has NO right to tell you what to do with it OR lay claim to one dime of it! DO NOT LET HIM! If you are afraid of potential violence over your leaving with the kids, call the cops. They will come to collect you AND the kids and take you to a shelter where he can not find you. Staying there is cheap and will make it easier to save up a little money so that when it is time to leave you have a little moeny to work with. I hope this information helps!
He is GOING to go to jail, eventually, if he does not kill someone first, which I truely hope he does not, but you need to get out of it before anything else happens. You are better than this and so are your kids! he is a loser, tried and true. If he actually tried in the marriage I would consider the other choice but as he treats you this way then he is a loser. He needs help, that is for sure, but he obviously does not care enough about you or the kids to get it or he would be doing so. Get out! Get out NOW!
2006-08-08 17:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that answers my question, anytime you have an alcohalic nothin they do is right and nothing they do or say makes any sence. so just keep doing whatever you have to do to take care of yourself nad the kids, see if he cant go get some help or something, or at least tell him that he needs help. he is surely going to be in denyl but hey someone has to tell him before he gets thrown in jail for a long time. your doing great, the money he gives you threw child support is saposed to be used for what ever the kids need and that is what you are doing, and being that living expences are expensive these days i can see how easy it is to use all your income on that too, he is just ignorant and needs to fix his life. dont feed into his lonelyness , his patheticness, just keep on doing what you are doing that is best for you and the kids,..good job..good luck
2006-08-08 17:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BREAK THE ENGAGEMENT!!! If you marry him, you will be dealing with this crap the rest of your life. Believe it or not, he's probably holding back right now. It is not love, he is taking advantage of you. You should not pay for his mistakes. What would happen if he got in a crash with your kids in the car? This relationship is hurting them too. Your kids should be your first priority. Alcoholics also tend to be abusive towards children. Do you really want to poisen your life and theirs with this marriage? Sign him up for AA, and then get out, ASAP. Dont listen to his excuses. If you find yourself wanting to get back together with him, think of them kids. They've been with you longer that he has.
2006-08-08 17:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, my dear. Your question "why do men do this?" is not quite the right one to be asking. Why on earth would you spend even a minute worrying about why he does it. The fact that he did what he did is more than enough to lead me to tell me you need to get rid of the burden he's placing on you. He's upset because YOU spent YOUR money on the kids? You know what your reply needs to be don't you. "Don't let the door hit you in the *** on your way out!"
2006-08-08 17:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this loser your fiance????? Are you so worthless that YOU deserve to be taken advantage of?? Don't your children matter?? Are you trying to find new ways to make them miserable? Lady, unless you are scum, ugly, stupid, AND a masochist- get rid of that guy. If not for yourself, then for your children. Also- don't pay ONE SINGLE PENNY of any traffic fines, court judgments, ETC, your children need every dime you get. Let the boyfriend pay his own bills, and pay his own fines. Sadly though, I predict that you Will pay his bills, you will put him ahead of your kids, and you WILL get screwed over by him. Which is wrong- not because you'll be screwed, but because you'll be screwing your kids- and they deserve better.
2006-08-08 19:14:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really have to ask if it's love? No, it's not........FAR from it! Ditch the piece of crap and focus on your children. He will do nothing but suck all of your money out of you in the long run. Not to mention, your kids don't need to be around an alcoholic.
2006-08-08 17:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish. Child support is for the children!! Don't allow him to make you feel guilty. He's the one that is not holding up his end -
If it is feasible, I would suggest finding somewhere for you and your children to live - away from this guy.
2006-08-08 17:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by Kim C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A millstone around your neck!
2006-08-08 17:10:49 · answer #10 · answered by guyd_15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋