Ok , i have a son, his name is Peyton, and his mother left us when he was 2 weeks old, and hasnt came back until now, 5.5 month later. She wants to be a part of our lives again but im not ready for that yet, but shes really pushing, i dont think she deserves to be let in our lives again because Peyton deserves so much more then what she did to him, and im afraid she'll do run again, what do i do?
2006-08-08 10:01:02 · 23 answers · asked by clueless 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I don't blame you, but you don't want to end up in a court battle either. It's probably in your son's best interest to sit down with her and negotiate some real guidelines and rules on visitation. And I would only let her have supervised visition for quite some time. Who's to say without it being supervised that she won't just leave town with your son. Good Luck.
2006-08-08 10:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would allow her to see him, but I would go through the courts, or an attorney, child services or something to set up the terms of which. The courts are more and more beginning to look at things from the fathers point of view. Allow her to see him on your terms, after all you have been the caregiver for the last 5 months, you know your son, youi know what's best for him. Make sure to include in these terms when the visitations will be how long they will take place, that any changes must be approved by you. If She missed two visitations in a row, (or if you don't have set dates if she fails to visit at least once a month) or misses X amount total that she forfiets her right to see him. However when he gets older, do not deny him his mother, let him make the chioce when he's old enough.
2006-08-08 14:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by Brittainy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife might of had postsyndrum depression. It happens to a lot of woman after they have had a baby. many body changes happen. She could have been afraid to come back earlier. Even though give her a bit of time in Peyton's life. all kids need a mother. Just see what happens. Make sure your with her when she has visitations. Everyone deserves a second chance. Remember we all makes mistakes.
2006-08-08 10:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by wanda_wright92 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that is very tuff! First of all she was being vcery selfish! Second has she contacted you at all since she left? Well every child needs both a mother & a father. So you really should let her see him. But you should ease into it. Let her knwo that you are keeping your sons best interest in mind & that she cannot just come back & think taht all is great!! Does she have remourse for what she did? That should also play a role on what you decide to do. Your vey right that precious baby does deserve better mother than what he has. but she should be given a chance to redeem herself> Best of luck & good of you! You seem like a great dad!
2006-08-08 10:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is the hardest thing any of us ever have to do but you need to forgive your wife. This is the worse of the better or for worse you agreed to. People can never DESERVE half of the things that come into our lives. If you can try to take things slowly but STRIVE to move back to love and acceptance, that is what I think is best for your family. You all need prayer and counselling and most of all, your kids would greatly benefit from your working this out, even Peyton. God bless you.
2006-08-08 13:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut. I agree with you, she doesn't deserve to get a chance to do that to him again. You can really f*ck up a kids mind by putting them through things like abandonment when they are babies. If you think she'd be a good mother you might take it slow, only allow occasional visits, at your discretion, but if this is a pattern for her, then he's better off not knowing her at all!! He needs stability, and bonding with someone that will ALWAYS be there! Good luck
2006-08-12 06:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her come back. You can of course see her away from your home and go to counseling if you want, but don't let her back in your home. You may come home from work and find she has gone and taken your baby. Yes your son needs to know Mom loves him, in her own way, but I would only let her see him with supper vision. I knew a guy who had the same problem. He took her back every time. She left after all five kids were born. Then returned later. They ended up living with his mother for daycare. To make a long story short they ended up in foster homes...
2006-08-08 10:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by linda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suited shaggy dog tale i have heard in a looong time! The punch line replaced into the icing on the cake because in the previous the very very last fact, I type of replaced into wondering hmmmm that is a reliable ingredient that someone could use something that is no longer getting used - then her husband's d_ _ _ wasn't getting used ha ha ha!!! I wager there are fairly some husbands in actual existence that adventure an similar ingredient!!! ;-O
2016-11-23 16:26:54 · answer #8 · answered by ganz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as much as everything going on may hurt it is my opinion that peyton should have the oppurtunity to have a mother and a father in his life.
sometimes we have to put are own grudges aside to do whats best for are children
you are the caregiver to your son she abandond him you have the right to control how much and when she see's him however she is the mother and also has every right to at least vist with her son
hopefully you guys can work it out so you have a least a working friendship you are now bonded for life
god speed
2006-08-08 10:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her come back!!! Don't forget she put up with 9 months of pregnancy which is not easy. She probably had postpardum depression! Don't punish your son! Give him his mom if she wants to be a part of his life. If she leaves again then you can say at least you tried!
2006-08-08 10:57:05 · answer #10 · answered by Yeni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋