Does that attitude not totally discount that people can realize their errors and correct them? What of redemption?
2006-08-08 09:56:02 · 16 answers · asked by Flagger 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So my agreeing to stay together 25 years ago was incorrect in that she must have cheated again? Or is it just the cheating attitude that stays even if no other affair took place?
2006-08-08 10:14:20 · update #1
I believe that one can realize their errors and turn from them. You may be going through something and reaching out in that way. But once you realize that that isn't the right thing to do. You can make up in your mind to change.
A lot of people are so against cheating and they are quick to judge a person because it is the wrong thing to do. But many do not know the situation, or what caused you to cheat. When you make up your mind, God will forgive you and he will give you the opportunity to help you and therefore help you to change, if you let him. That is a choice that person will have to make and stick with.
2006-08-08 10:10:06 · answer #1 · answered by WANDERER 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
well, i want to say that that statement is condtional
i was in a horrible marriage, where my self esteem was very low and i needed something to boost my confidence, ie, attention from other men to know that i was still attractive. I knew cheating was wrong, but it felt good to know that i wasnt so unattractive like my husband made me feel. I divorced him. In no way am i supporting cheating, i know i did wrong and it didnt help the relationship, but at the time, in a mentally abusive relationship it was used as a tool to boost my self esteem by for one, using the power that i was satisfied by somebody else against him and it gave me an excuse to escape reality.
Now...
i am in a wonderful relationship with a very wonderful man after being divorced a year. I have been dating him for 5 months now and have not had a thought about cheating. It is a 360 from my marriage, and i am absolutely happy to be with him, and he is the only one i want to be with. Because i have absolute respect for this relationship and i respect him, i wont cheat. Becides, its the lies, coverups, alibis and the guilty feelings i would have to deal with if i did have to cheat on him. Its easier to not cheat and be honest. So in turn, the once a cheater always a cheater is very circumstantial.
2006-08-08 17:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a chance that most people are not willing to take. Nothing held the person back from cheating once, so why should he or she feel any remorse for doing it a second or third time? Some things are for God only to forgive; people cannot be that much like Him, try as they might.
2006-08-08 17:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Loves Her Sabres 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because that is usually the case. They may have made a mistake, but they are going to have to deal with the consequences. You put your total trust in this person and they go and do that. It hurts and hard to get over. I would not forgive and I would wonder every time they left the house if they were going to do it again. So why live a life like that? Life is too short to spend it with losers that don't give a dam* about anyone but themselves.
2006-08-08 17:02:16 · answer #4 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This statement is not true. You are not always gonna be a cheater. Everyone has fieces in their body, does that mean they are full of sh*t. if that was the case, everyone would be full of sh*t. Or if a someone takes a pen from work, does that make them a thief. If so almost everyone would be in jail right now for petty theft.
In conlusion you are not always gonna be a cheater, just re-build the trust with others.
2006-08-08 17:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by eassoon2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's widely held because it's widely true. Yes, there are those that can change, some grow out of it, but For the vast majority of cheaters, it wasn't a one time thing.
2006-08-08 17:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Correcting errors" isn't good enough when it comes to being faithful. For a person do deserve to be in a relationship, they need to respect their partner, and regardless of whether or not they cheat again they have proven that they really don't have any sort of respect for the relationship.
2006-08-08 17:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the time people that cheat are selfish and weak, Why selfish and weak? okay think about it, they aren't thinking about their partner when they are cheating they are thinking of themselves (selfish), and everyone COULD cheat on their partners....... it takes being strong and resisting the temptations that we all deal with (Hinze weak). I would think that a cheater could change his or her ways however, i would not stay with someone that cheated on me. In my opinion if you love me you will be faithful no matter what, and if you can't do that then you can't be with me, period.
2006-08-08 17:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have often wondered that myself. I know a man who cheated several times on his gf, but I know that if he found the right woman he would cease the bad behavior and be totally devoted to her.
2006-08-08 17:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by hljones1169 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are probably some people who can redeem themselves but I bet the majority of cheaters go on to repeat that behavior in their relationships.
2006-08-08 17:02:45 · answer #10 · answered by lavenderroseford 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋