When we first got together we had sex all the time. He is still so hot and great looking and everyother aspect of our marrage is great. When we do have sex it completely rocks! Its just me getting in the mood and making the first move. He doesn't want to get turned away so he rarely makes the first move. Last night he said out of the blue "so I guess we won't have sex tonight" And he walked away pretending to be a monk! Too cute! But I still didn't give it up? Whats wrong with me? I don't think its hormonal...Its more mental? I have read sexy books to try to get in the mood....toys...well if I am going to do that then I might as well do my hubba! I wonder if its my weight...I have gained 30 lbs since we got married....nursing school (It happens) HELP!!!
2006-08-08 09:50:19 · 12 answers · asked by fingerpuppytoe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you know you still want him sexually, build yourself up to it. Walk behind him when he's at the computer and kiss his neck and whisper how sexy you think he is. Grab his butt as he walks past you and give him an "I want you.... bad" glance.
Allow yourself time to yourself... a long hot bath and then some lingerie, getting things built up.
Those ideas do two things... they help your husband to know you're still interested and helps prepare the pathways for you.
I can understand that you may be tired and the weight changes things alot. It's not an easy thing. But the most important thing is that you notice what's happening and want to change it. Great! Don't give up... maybe you just need him to be more proactive in the getting you ready stages.... just not straight into intercourse, but in making you feel beautiful and desired. That makes the world of difference. The best part of it all is that studies show that women who have intercourse on a regular basis tend to deal with stress better and have lower blood pressure... something to do with stimulation of the vagal nerve... So, do it for your health, babe!
2006-08-08 10:02:30 · answer #1 · answered by celtiarose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What IS wrong with you?? Probably nothing. Nursing school is VERY tough. Mentally, you are exhausted every night. Look at it this way. The fun, and the sex you two are missing now, enable you to get a well paying job. Later, you two will have more money, and more time. Money +Time+ Hot Hubby= Great sex. I doubt your marriage is in trouble, as long as hubby can make jokes, and you are also able to appreciate the humor. As for the weight, sorry, it doesn't "happen" You eat too much, or the wrong things, and you gain weight. 30 lbs doesn't seem like a really big deal, but if it seems to be a factor in YOUR mind, or Hubby's, then lose it.
2006-08-08 20:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy so i don't know if you will take what I have to say serious. Whether you have sex or not with your husband, make him feel wanted and loved. The actual act is nice yes, but emotionally being desired and loved is also important. My wife and I were in the same boat, it sounds very familar. She was tired and busy, we had to many things to do, adult family leaned us so much she hardly had time for a breath. This went on for years.
I'll make a long story short. I ended up having an affair with a family friend. We are now split up. This is the only woman that I have ever loved and more then likely ever will. I hurt her so bad I'm pretty sure she will never let me in her life again. Make no mistake, I'm not making excuses for my actions and my stumble and fall, but the path to my destruction started long ago. I am paying a counselor good money to learn about myself. It started when my wife's family pulled her away from me and put too much burden on her, the both of us. Us guys are like a child in a way. I wanted my wife to love me, which she did, but I also wanted her to desire me, to want me, and like a child I didn't want to share her as much as I had to. That's not the way we lived before all of her family moved to us, I wanted the old days, and I couldn't have them anymore.
So make your husband feel loved and wanted. I'm not saying that he will have an affair, that was my stupidity. I'm just saying that I know what not feeling wanted and desired by someone you really love feels like. I hope my plight helps you. it will be the only good that ever came from it except learning about myself so i never make that mistake again, ever.
Tom
2006-08-08 17:06:45 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think its about getting caught up in routine, for example you have mentioned both yourself asking for sex and also your husband. what could be great fun is to simply seduce your husband without any warning what so ever,maybe simply pounce on him in the car (not while driving) or maybe in the kitchen if he ever cooks,then afterwards you can say to him if he wants any more of the same he must surprise you in return,sometimes the idea of asking or hinting can be more pressure tha you think. if you are really worried about reaction you can simply tell your husband that sometime in the week or month you are going to surprise him and seduce him without warning,im sure he will be pleased and waiting for such moment,he may well plan the same for you. At the end of the day just be honest with each other and think of trying something out of the ordinary,maybe make love in the great outdoors or in different place/room of the house can make such difference. best of luck and have fun above all else.
2006-08-08 17:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by soothsayer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's just you, the issue can play a part in it, but it could just be you. Man r just so horny, i tell my husband everytime you walk and your balls rub togther you wanna have sex. man think about sex so many times a day is not even funny. Most probably is just a stage that you r going through. He should love you enough to understand, instead of having sex everday cut it down to 3 or 4 great sex nights.
2006-08-08 16:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by omylily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Extra weight is a known contributor to lack of sex drive. Try adding a 30 minute workout to your routine 3-4 days a week. You will see a HUGE energy boost, feel better about yourself, and most likely an increase in libido.
2006-08-08 16:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are lazy and unappreciative.
You can always just do him if you are not in the mood and you probably will get that way along the way.
2006-08-08 16:56:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda have the same problem but foreplay is the key, do something different each time.... what ever turns you on have him do...like have him to go down on you or 69 or something ...think very creative
2006-08-08 17:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u better wake up sista or u'll loose him watch soem vids or pleasure urself till u are in the "mood"
2006-08-08 17:37:09 · answer #9 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes lose weight...it will most definitely help. When one thinks of themselves as sexy---they get more sex--the truth...
2006-08-08 16:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋