Ladies Only Please...Did you stay with the bastard for the child (ren)? Please read on...?

Question

I gave up my career to stay home with my perfect, beautiful, wonderful little boy. Before that, I had a great career...but it was taking me away from my son far too much. I DO NOT have a supportive or loving family...and moved away from them to escape them. My son doesn't care for my husband most of the time. However, my son does not see us fight or argue...but I fear he senses the tension sometimes.

My pig husband makes me so sad all the time...but my little boy is so precious to me and I am soooo nervous about going back to work just to leave this lying pig. As I said, I DO NOT have a supportive family! I feel so alone. Any advice or suggestions.

PLEASE be thoughtful. Thank you!!!!!!

Sorry...my son will be 4 in September and I have been able to stay home with him since just after he turned 3.

Answer 1

Do what you have to do to better your life. The first couple of years will be difficult, but if you let fear settle in you will stay miserable forever. Sometime friends are more supportive then family, seek support from them, or start making new friends, they are many women in the same situation, you might end up creating your own support group. Good luck.

Answer 2

Harm is being done right in front of your very eyes and your not seeing it. YES your son feels the tension between and senses something is wrong.
If there is no working it out with your husband, I suggest getting back into the swing of working and move on.
When you have had all you can take you will leave. Until then you will continue to put up with the pig as you call him.
It is doing more damage by you staying in the confussion than you going to work and having a sitter.
Most familes have two incomes and their children are at a sitter. So your son would be no different than any other !
Just be glad you were able to stay at home with him this long.
Best of luck to you !

Answer 3

I can feel your pain. Had the same situation almost except my pig was abusive and I worked with 2 children. You are doing the right thing about going back to work so you can have money and the courage to leave this man. But are you able to take much more of this man until you get more money to leave, now that's the real question. I usually don't advise this but if its that bad just leave now. The reason why I say this if for some reason people are more willing to help you when you are trying to do it alone. Just something to think about. Yeah, you are right your son does feel the tension, he just doesn't know what's going on. Now this is something that you can do to ease your mind in case you do leave, seek marital counseling and if that doesn't work then you know which course to take. Keep you head up and Good luck.

Answer 4

u are in a tough spot....the real question is ... is the situation at home unbearable for either yourself or your son. If it is...then the answer is to move on...yes it is tough....but be prepared...start moving some money out of the community checking account into a private account so that you will be able to move out and set up a new apartment/or residence whatever. And yes you will be required to go back to work.. You do not say how old your son is...I wish u did...that makes a difference as well. If the child is old enough to attend school all day...like at least 6,,,this will be much easier for u. If the child is below the age of 6....you might want to wait; otherwise, he will miss u too much while u are away working. Hope that helps.

Answer 5

Keep your head up. It is scary reentering the work force, especially when you are contemplating ending a marriage. If your relationship with your husband has you this bitter, your son can surely sense the tension. It would be better for you son to be raised in a happy, peaceful home even it's one with only you and him. I am sorry that your family is not supportive but you are still not alone. Many other woman have faced and are currently facing what you are now. Don't give up because of frustration and despair. Stay focused on your ultimate goal which is independence and serenity. Don't dwell on the heartache that your husband has given you. You can not change him. He is who he is. Be who you are...a wonderful, special, loving woman who happens to be a good mother.

Answer 6

I think you are going to have to make a very tough decision. You are not doing your little boy any favors by keeping him in an environment filled with tension. You also deserve more from a mate than what you are getting. My advice would be to leave him, get a job and find a loving caregiver for your son while you are at work. It will be very hard in the beginning but will be the best thing for both of you in the long run.

Answer 7

Go! Leave and take your child with you. Go back to work, your son will be better for it! It is NOT good now and it IS affecting him. Get out and do what you have to do. Go back to work and put him in childcare. You will be able to take care of him and he will have the oppertunity to develop socail skills outside of interaction with mom. I used to feel the same way you do about being with my kids full time but when my oldest got into school, things were not good. She had not had the oppertunity to be with other kids her age prior to that and it was over whelming and aweful for her. The sooner you introduce social and educational circumstances into his life, the better adapted he will get. You child NEEDS this so do it! Most states have programs available for low cost or state funded childcare. I have 4 kids honey and I am TELLINg you it can be done. I did it so I know. Find an income based appartment complex or apply for HUD housing (section 8). After you get all your utilities turned on you can ask the companies about budget plans so you can save money there. There are a million little ways to save money and live well but cheap with a child. If you need further advice, feel free to contact me. I will help if I can. You deserve BETTER than being miserable allthe time and your son deserves YOU TO BE BETTER! So GO and BE BETTER for you and your son! Good luck!

Answer 8

I am sorry you are in this terrible position. It is not better for the kids that you stay together. Believe me they know ( whether you fight infront of them or not) and you are not really teaching ( by example) what a healthy relationship is all about. Do you really want your son to grow up thinking it is normal not to show affection to his spouse? Work will be hard and time away will be hard but maybe your hubby will be a better dad when forced to have one-on-one with your son. Mine did. I am not an advocate of divorce but sometimes you have to look at the life lessons you show your children while in a bad relationship and weigh them against what you would be showing them if you got out of it.

Just food for thought hope it helps!
Good luck!!!!!

Answer 9

If you arent happy with your husband leave him whilst you are young. Its no use staying with someone that makes you unhappy all the time but be sure you dont lose your son to him in a divorce court. You can put your son in a day centre and be with him in the evenings. He will be happy with children of his own age...you will be happy to be away from your husband and be happier at work. It will give you something to look forward to every day instead of sitting at home wondering what problems you are going to face during the day.
If you love your husband and things have gone wrong recently then go for counselling and get him to go with you and sort out your problems....it might hopefully lead to you both being happy with each other and making a happier home for your little son.
Remember one thing....happiness does not lay in a wedding ring!!!

Answer 10

I understand your nervousness. I understand because I have been there. You need to decide what is best for your son and then stick to your decision. Yes, going back into the work force after being a stay at home mom is difficult, but it is so worth it to get you and your son out of a potentially harmful situation. Do you want him to grow up and learn the ways of your husband? (You didnt say if he is your sons father) Children learn what they experience, and you still have the opportunity to let your son experience what it is like to have to work for what you get...a very important lesson that so many of our young people are missing these days. Good luck to you...you can do it...just make up your mind and stick to it!