his mother constantly makes snide remarks and my boyfriend even acknowledges that she can be argumentative and very outspoken despite being a "christian". instead of speaking up for me he only takes her side. I have been trying to respect her in every way that i can, but it's getting old. i recently told him that i don't want her at the baby's delivery but he insists that she be there. it is causing a lot of problems between the two of us and we are near a break up. i told him she could come but if things got ugly she would be asked to leave and he said he would leave with her. should i leave the momma's boy alone or should i put up with it for the sake of the relationship even though i will be the only one unhappy?
2006-08-08 09:41:08 · 25 answers · asked by rosalind 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The birth of a baby is not a spectator sport. Talk to your ob/gyn about your issue with the woman. The doctor can be the "bad guy" on this one and insist that she not be allowed in the delivery room. But I think that is the least of your problems. You got pregnant by a momma's boy. And it's only natural that his mother would resent the fact that you two are not married (especially if she is a Christian).
Since the father of your child has not made a commitment to you, you can't expect that he'll ignore his mother and side with you every time there is a disagreement. I suggest you see a lawyer and make sure that the father meets his financial obligations to the baby. I think that's all you're going to get from him. Good luck.
2006-08-08 09:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by Fall Down Laughing 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's YOUR choice who is in the delivery room. The experience is very personal and should be shared with people whom you love and trust. Tell her (and him) that you want the experience to be an intimate moment between you and him, and that after the baby is born she is welcome to come into the room. I don't think I'd want anyone there besides the baby's father because you're half naked and let's face it, labor is not the most glorious thing. I hope you choose what is right for you. It's VERY important that you of all people have things the way you want, after all you are the only one that matters at this time.
If the monster-ir-law argues, remind her that this is not a circus and you are not selling tickets for the event.
2006-08-08 09:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rather late, isn't it?
But set the boundaries first, if you continue . Good walls make good neighbours. And if he accepts she is wrong and still favours her, its wrong, but you already know that.
Tell him that you can't bear so much. Like, isn't labour pain enough , without this women torturing you mentally. If you are tough enuf leave the mamma's boy alone.
But before you do that, do give her a piece of your mind, and tell her, that she is ruining your perfect relationship. And you can never forgive her for that. And if you have nothing to lose at that point, do it in front of him.
Supressing your emotions ain't gonna help. Why not get him to a relationship-counseller or something like that? This oedipus complex is strange.
And don't be that nice to her. Ask for your place under the sun.
I think i have given you nothing but bs, but yes, that shrink thing might help.
2006-08-08 09:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by shrek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. 1 - You and your child's health should come first.
No. 2 - Talk to your doctor (he maybe able to get everyone out of the delivery room that you don't want in there.)
As for the boyfriend he is not at the level of "it is us against the world". I had that problem with my husband and told him that we did not need other people make decisions about our lives. Especially, baby's mama nor did we need input from our family all the time.
2006-08-08 09:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by naute_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if he wont talk to her maybe you should i would make her aware of your feelings and that you dont appreciate the way she is treating you.
Your man obviously isnt man enough to stand up to his own mother wich a lot of men are like that ofcourse im sure its out of respect.
Make it a point she is causeing problems with you and her son and that she should back off and keep her comments to herself..if she continues to be a pain i guess the only way to go would be to threaten her and your boyfriend with the baby.
You shouldnt have to live unhappy like that and at least trying to resolve the problem your doing your part.
2006-08-08 10:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by tess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok im only like 13 but i know about this stuff cause it happen to MY mom so i dont know how it will go with you. what my mom did was try to get along with his mom if that didnt work then just leave him because no guys mom is worth it taking lectures from an old lady you dont even like. if i were you i would leave him and ask some one you know if you can stay with them or something untll you get a job and your own home. and then when you get your home look for the right guy and dont go back to the other one. but thats what i would do but remeber im only 13 ok. i wish you luck!
2006-08-08 09:49:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jazmine S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that as hard is it may seem you may just want to try a little harder to deal with her. Take it with a grain of salt and be the bigger person. Make no comments and say nothing, the man is going to be the father of your child. But also you should not have to suffer, he should be backing you IF his mom is in the wrong. JUST BE THE BIGGER PERSON. If you get to an extremely unhappy point and you feel that you are truly sufering because of it then you have to think of yourself. YOu have to be happy too! Good luck!
2006-08-08 09:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by lovenstrength83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your mom right this moment. overlook approximately what your buddy says, it somewhat is for her very own solid alongside with your loved ones's. This guy is undesirable information. enable your mom be conscious of that there are different innovations aside from having this guy stay on your lives. He ought to pay new child help whilst the toddler is born. additionally, touch the police if he does the rest to wreck you or your loved ones. This guy is repulsive and abusive and ought to be out of your lives ASAP. I additionally advise a restraining order against him, for you, your mom, the toddler, and your buddy. undesirable human beings do in comparison to being printed and without restraining orders he would attempt to wreck you in an excellent greater violent way. yet do no longer enable this frighten you out of telling your mom and the police.
2016-09-29 01:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by catherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like no matter who her son is with, unless she hand picked her herself, she will not like her. I can't believe that he would miss the birth of his child because his mother is having a temper tantrum! Is this the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with? She is going to make your life a living hell forever and do everything in her power to break you guys up. If you can stand the heat, stay in the kitchen. But seriously think about this.
2006-08-08 09:48:19 · answer #9 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell this MAMA'S BOY TO GET SOME BALLS AND STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND BE A MAN. THAT MEANS PUTTING THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD FIRST!! If he goes off with his mommy - to hell with him. Trust me - she will NEVER be any different, and YOU will live a miserable life being second place in his heart no matter what he tells you. Actions speak more than his words. You deserve more respect than he will give you.
2006-08-08 09:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋