Insecure about sex positions, how to get over it and enjoy myself?

Question

I am not a small girl, not like huge or anything but I guess judjing by my pants size I would be considered plus size. And because of the emphasis on being tiny if your a woman I have developed insecurities about it especially in the bedroom with my husband. there are so many things I fantisize about and really letting loose but I find myself always holding back for fear of looking stupid or something. Like I cant get into it if Im on top because Im afrain hes looking at my stomach, and cant to 69 position because thats really an uncomfortable position, on my back Im afraid my b**bs fall to the side too far etc... are all of us women insecure, and for the men.. are you thinking about the flaws on your girls body when your having sex?

Answer 1

Honey please let me tell you Im a size 22, and I do all those positons your afraid to do, Im sure your husband doesnt have a problem with your body. You dont have to feel insecure about yourself. Dont deny yourself all the sexual positions and fun you could have. If you want to talk more leave me a message I'll tell you what to do....Believe me you'll feel better that you take a chance and let your anxieties go. Sex is great not matter what your size is...Dont deprive yourself. From one big girl to another.

Answer 2

Sex Positions For Plus Size

Answer 3

Being on top is actually a very flattering position for women of all sizes to be in. He gets a perfect view of your breasts and all the curves that he obviously loves (he's your husband!!!). Speaking for my husband, who I think speaks for all real men, he's not thinking about any "flaws" you may have. He's thinking, "I'm having sex with a woman." That's all there is to it. There are times when I feel like he MUST think I look rough, and that's exactly when he'll tell me how sexy I am. If you're uninhibited, that's a HUGE turnon. Most husbands long for the day that their wife will let loose in the bedroom. Don't be surprised if you get some Yahoo guys trying to pick you up on this question, lol. Have fun, get down and dirty, and let your husband know what it means to sleep with a real woman.

Answer 4

Everyone is insecure male or female about every thing from weight to looks to clothes to boobs and penis size. Why do you think body alteration/cosmetic surgery is become so popular, because we all are vain some more than others.

Does your insecurity stem from your husband saying anything? Love making is about love, passion and lust and its not about how good you look while your doing it. Does being a plus size make you less of a woman? Confidence is the key ingredient. You have to feel confident about everything you do.

Men are insecure because of the size of they Penis. They all want to be 10' hung, but have they seriously asked a woman if she would like to do a human or a donkey.

My point is talk to your husband tell him how you feel, if he does not think your unattractive then stop denying yourself the pleasures of life. Lose yourself into the moment and you will be surprised how amazing sex will be. Now you have to decide, do you want to have good looking sex, or do you want to have amazing sex.

If you are concerned about your plus size, eating healthy and working out is always an option.

Answer 5

Try to think about this. He is your husband. He loves you and wants to make love to you despite your extra pounds. He knows what you look like. There is nothing to gain from making yourself uncomfortable and not enjoying sex. Men love women who enjoy sex! Having said all this I can understand how you feel. We all have our insecurities. I guess one thing you can do is dim the lights. Other than that let go.

PS. If it bothers you so much, can you try exercising. It may help you lose a few pounds. But more importantly, it'll make your body look better even if you're the same weight and the adrenaline will make you feel happier about yourself.

Answer 6

Okay........are you having sex with anyone other than your husband? No, i didn't think so. Your husband loves you for you. So what if your body is not "perfect" as they call it, nobodies is.

My wife is pregnant right now, and we still have a great sex life. She is worried about the same things as you. I find her just as sexy as I always have, weirdly enough, maybe a little more.

Talk to your husband about trying new things. 69 with him on top. If he like going down on you already, then I am sure he will be game for it. Tell him your fantasies, maybe he is thinking the same thing. Let him do you doggy style. I don't know a guy that doesn't like that. Make him lay on the bed and you ride him on top but facing away from him, if you are insecure about your stomach. I am sure he doesn't care. Let loose and enjoy yourself. Watch porn with him, act out the scene that is taking place, or video yourselves making love. Ask him what he wants to do. Wear lingerie, or stockings. there is all kind so stuff you can do.

I don't see my wife with flaws. I see her. I have flaws too, but she doesn't notice them either, we just enjoy ourselves when we are in bed.

Answer 7

Insecurity when it comes to a woman's body is natural. There is nothing wrong with wanting to explore fantasies. Look at it this way, your husband still wants to be intimate with you, so apparently your size is not an issue. I am sure he would probably love it if you did try new things with him. Dont worry about how it's going to look, most sexual postitions look silly anyway. But no one besides you and your husband are going to looking. And your husband isnt going to be bothered if it looks silly or whatnot, he is going to be enjoying you. so how do you get over your insecurities? It's not easy, but look at it this way, your husband still is attracted to you. I know we all want to look good for someone. But we dont stop to understand that people may see us differently than we do. As they a say "you are your own worst critic" .
I'm not skinny either, but when i'm with my husband, and enjoying him, my insecurities go away. Because HE is attracted to me and all my insecurities seem to fade away because i'm caught up in the moment. Like you for who you are, and for the woman your husband married. He loves YOU. Though we all want those perfect bodies to please our men. There is FAR more than a perfect body that pleases our men. Dont look at what is outside, as hard as it is, look at what is inside. AND if you have area's that bother you. Work out. Do something for you that makes you more at ease with your body image. There are a lot of good books about body image and sexual insecurities you can read. I hope this article will give you a start.
Just remember.....your husband is still attracted to you no matter what.

Answer 8

Wow!! ok, you need to realize that your husband married YOU... all of you and of course...there's the assumption that he loves you the way you are and loved you when you were datiing. However, if YOU"RE unhappy with your size or the way you look in a mirror naked, then change your lifestyle to include proper diet and exercise (which should be a part of everyones life). But DO NOT make the mistake of thinking all men prefer thin women. Also, there are many thin women who are married who face the same sexual issues that you deal with. Concern yourself with being healthy on the outside and inside.

You need to relax and be confident in the fact that your husband is with you and loves ALL of you. Now you need to love all of you... and "only" if you feel you are unhealthy and can use some tightening/toning up in certain areas should you take action. If you choose to change based on media pressure, Hollywood, and other people and how they look, you'll won't ever be secure even if you become thinner. TRUST!

EVERYONE... Aboslutely EVERYONE has body flaws (imperfections) and there isn't a woman or man alive who (when asked) would not want to change or improve or get rid of something on their body. No human being is perfect, so how could they have a perfect body. Even those who choose plastic surgery have a high price to pay to try to maintain that facade. If you someone who says their body is perfect or that "looks" like their body is perfect.... it's all smoke a mirrors and if they believe the hype about their bodies they are delusional and lying to themselves. You're Gods creation... but be certain that God wants you to be the healthiest person you can be. Thin people have health issues just like other people. Get fit and in shape but do it because "You" know you need to and throw all that negativity about yourself out the window. You have a husband that loves and desires you and that's a blessing. Work it out!

Answer 9

I can guarantee that your husband is NOT critizising your body during sex. In fact, he is enjoying you for what you are. Why do you think he's still making love to you? Don't worry about it. Worrying about it will only take away from your enjoyment and in turn, will take away from the sex itself. It is common, even for thin women, to have insecurities about their bodies but we need to get over that. If it bothers you that much, perhaps you can do it with the lights turned down, light some candles or turn the lights completely off. The important thing is just to enjoy yourselves and not focus on anything but the love making.

Answer 10

I would say a good position to start out with would be doggy-style. That leaves him free to work on you from behind, and would be looking only at your back. Anything he wants to reach around and do with his hands is easily accomplished from that position. Once you're able to build up your confidence from there, you can branch out into other things.

Last but not least, candlelight and/or the dark do wonders for your confidence if you're concerned about how you look.

I am not thinking about the flaws on my wife's body when I am having sex, no. I am usually thinking about getting her (and myself) off. I think your husband will probably be so excited about the novelty of the new position he won't be thinking about it.