Should I let my boys stay over night with their mom?

Question

she has only came around 3 times this year, lived on the lake with this guy she is with now, on meth and pot real bad. Has lost custody of her other two kids to DCS. She says she is clean now, but hasnt had time to get a drug test yet, and has a house with this same guy. Another point that bothers me is she still has contact with her last bf, a convected rapest (drug raped a 16yo girl) even though he was arrested for not reg as a offender, living with her and the 2 girls (19mo and 3mo) and durgs. I personially think that she needs to never see the boys, but, it is their mom.. Any suggestions. also, i did offer for her to come here to see them but got btchd at and hung up on

I can see that I am not alone in my concerns, thank you all

Answer 1

No I would not let them see her without supervision......if she is in that bad of a situation it would be bad for you to put your kids in a situation like that.........you are right......she is their mother and they should see her but you be the judge of that and if things arn't that bad then i would go with supervised visitation cause if something happens to those kids you will never be able to take it back. How old are the kids..........so they want to see her? so they know what is going on with her? talk to them and that will help with your decision but by NO MEANS let them spend the night!

Answer 2

I wouldn't want my children around her, even if she says she is clean. Unless it is court ordered, don't do it. If she is still insisting that she see the children, call your local Sheriff's Department or Police Department and have a deputy there when she shows up. If the court felt the need to take the children and place them with DCS, then the court already acknowledges that she has a serious problem and is incappable of taking care of the children. It might not hurt for you to make the first move and retain a lawyer and take her to court. You didn't say whether or not you had full/sole custody of the children. If you do, you can have it set up to where if she does want to see them, she must be drug tested before she comes and sees them and it can also be set up to where she only has supervised visitation with them, where she goes to the Social Services office and has someone sit in the room with her and the children. That way, it would put your mind at ease. Contact your local social service office and ask them for their advice. Good Luck to you and your children. I hope that this helps.

Answer 3

Absolutely not unless the court forces you to and if they do you need an immediate hearing to stop it. It is your responsibility not to let them in harms way. I was threatened with jail if I did not take the kids to their mom's and she was doing drugs. I told the court people that if they want to send the cops that I lived on the 3rd floor and would have every television station crew there filming as they SWAT team came after me. They knew I was serious and changed the ruling. There was no way I was putting my kids in a situation where they could possibly suffer any needles harm. Stand up for yourself and do the right thing. It's a lot easier than saying "I wish I would have done...." God luck to you!!

Answer 4

i would just tell her that if she wants to see them she needs to be clean looking and off drugs, that she needs to have a profesional attitude not the druggy slang they use out there, that she can only see them while you are there, and at your house, she cant bring anyone with her. tell her that as the father of the kids you are responsible for making sure that no harm comes to them and that there is no way you will let them be with her without your supervision, that if she wants to see the kids that these are the rules she has to follow. if she realy loves them she will do it so that she can see them. dont feel bad for doing it, your kids wont understand untill they have thier own kids one day that you were just making sure that they did not get hurt and that you always want the best for them and that you did what you could. invite her to things like birthdays or bbq's so that she feels like she can be a part of her kids still but youll be able to still make sure that things go ok. good luck

Answer 5

I don't want to insult your intellegence but come on here??!! Your wife lost custody of the kids and "doesn't have time to take a drug test"? Pee tests can be bought at the drug store now.

Do not let your wife come around!! Think about the kids. Is it better for them to see their drugged up mom or not see her? Not see her especially since she can put the kids in danger.

Answer 6

If something happened to them, and you think you could sleep at night afterwards go ahead and put them at risk. Heck, what is worse that could happen, they could drive headone into another car and kill them all cause they were trying to hide the pot or meth from the cop that was pulling them over for drunk driving. Or maybe they will leave the kids at home alone to go out and party. Sure why not.

Dude, you make the rules. She screwed this up so bad, that it is your way or the highway.

Answer 7

Check with your attorney about setting up supervised visits only. If this comes from the courts, she will have no choice but to comply if she wants to see her children. Yes she is their mother, but it sounds as if she has made some very bad choices that could put her children in jepordy. If she is changing and cleaning her act up she will make the effort to prove that she loves and wants to see her children. Court ordered supervised visitation sounds like your safest and fairest option right now. Maybe later she can graduate to unsupervised and over night visits.

Answer 8

No, NO I would never send the boysto stay with her withall you explained, Id make her get a drug test and if shes clean than I would tell her if she wants to see them she has to come and visit and I would still have it supervised at all times.I understand it is their mom but she sure is not a good role model for your boys and you are the only one who can protect them. Good Luck to you and the boys.

Answer 9

You shouldn't let your children be alone with her. Find someone to supervise her visits that you trust. She apparently has no visitation rights, and you have custody of the kids. She basically has no say unless she takes you back to court. If she couldn't take care of her two other children, what makes you think she could take care of the two she has with you? I wouldn't let her have them to herself for even a moment. She clearly has some drug problems not to mention poor judgement in the people she chooses to have in her life.

Answer 10

Make the first move before she does. See a lawyer and fix it so she has supervised visitation until she can prove that she is worthy of taking them alone. Doesn't sound to me like she is at this time. Protect your children as long as the courts will allow you to. If she really wants to see them, she will see them with supervision.