I have been dating my girlfriend for about 4 years now. The first two years, we had that euphoric period of sex multiple times a day. Since then it has dropped off. I have talked to her about it and get different answers, but basically it has come down to the 'its too routine' bit and shes stressed and tired... She's also said things like I should take more control and take charge. I have been pretty passive recently because I've been hoping she would be the one to initiate stuff. I like to act goofy around her and joke around, so I think this a good solution, but I have been shot down so many times by her when I come on softly.
I would like advice as to what kind of things to do and what kind of things to say when I take her out to a nice dinner next time. I am going to be assertive, but I dont know whether to do things like talk kind of dirty or what. I'd appreciate any advice.
2006-08-08 08:26:02 · 7 answers · asked by johndoi 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
You don't have to talk dirty to her to be aggressive. Tell her how beautiful she is to you. Hold her close when you dance or take her hand from across the table at dinner and look in her eyes and remind her of how much she means to you. Pull her to you and give her an unexpected kiss, a real passionate kiss. Never let things get dull between the two of you. Have you gotten her flowers lately? That can be a nice surprise as long as you don't do it very often. Offer to rub her shoulders after a long day. If you have a big enough bath tub, run a bubble bath and take one together by candlelight with a glass of red wine. Hope some of this helps you out. Have fun!
2006-08-08 08:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times it has nothing to with Sex. Perhaps you are too passive in other areas of your life with her. At the store do you go and get what you want or do you easily accept a leeser alternative? At the restaurant do you demand proper service and send back a meal that isn't cooked to your liking? When you go out with her do you already know where you're going, do you have what you need for the event, plenty of money, appropriate dress, etc.
To step up and take charge in the bedroom usually requires that you are stepped up and in charge of all other aspects of your life.
Remember, one of the most intoxicating feelings a woman can have is when she is safe and sound by her mans side and her man is steady and confident and capable in all ways. Never lead her, never make her follow, but walk along beside her giving her faith that you're going in the right direction and that you can handle whatever it is around the next bend. Be the same in the bedroom - look for new ways and new positions. Don't tell her to do something - show her what you want to do and how to do it. Be confident always.
Walk her right into a lingerie store and you pick out what you really think will look enticing on her - and don't be x-rated or gross about what you pick - instead be practical and romantic about it. Walk her right into the clothing store and have her try on outfits until you see the one that looks best on her. And then buy it for her.
Always open doors for her. Always seat her first. Always walk on the traffic side of her - yes, this means you'll change sides as you cross the street together. Always tell her how attractive and vivacious she is - especially in the morning when she first awakes. Cook for her and cook with her. Clean for her and clean with her. Do the things she likes to do with passion and enthusiasm. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Massage her at the end of the day - remember, whatever a man does in a workday never equals to what a woman does in the same time period, so you can never be more tired than her. Always give yourself to her completely and, my brother, you will be amazed at how much you will receive in return.
There is a fine art to being assertive in an attractive and seductive way. It takes practice. You'll make mistakes and sleep many nights in the dog house. Don't fret. Just realize that to have an exciting, orgasmic love life together the Love has to be plentifull and sincere in alll other areas - all the time. After all, if you truly love her then you naturally want to fulfill her every need and be of service to her at all times. Believe me, treat her this way and she'll rock your bedroom for years to come!
2006-08-15 10:59:46 · answer #2 · answered by mellow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem, but i was in Ur gfs position...sex got too boring with the same person, so neway, to be more in control in the bed room do not ask questions...asking questions like that feel food? and what position do u wanna do? makes u look weak...you should go into it making out with her as hot as u can...i don't mean kissing i mean hard core make out...after that rip off her shirt...don't actually rip it, but get it off fast, keep making out with her for a few min, while workin her chest...after that go down on her, spell the ABC's on her outer lips, then work the clit with Ur mouth while working the g spot with a finger or 2...after she climaxes get her close again and go back up and enter her,,start making out with her, or play with her **** with Ur mouth while dong it...do not move slowly from position to position...when u want 2 change, grab her and roll over so she is on top, Ur move her into the position u want next, if u have a pre mature ejaculation problem this works well...every time u feel the need 2 blow, get out of her and quickly change position's...it only takes a few seconds but that's all you should need...good luck
2006-08-15 11:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by shawn b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The euphoria of sex is usually limited to a year..exceptions may last longer but remain limited..
The female is instinctually guided by the need to reproduce. It is called the nesting instinct.. to consumate this end, she needs the commitment of more than casual sex. Have you considered that by not meeting the obligation of matrimony, allowing her to feel the needed security, sex has now actually become a turn off?
Is past time for you to be considerate of others, Not just meeting your needs. Others have needs which may actually supercede yours.
2006-08-13 15:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by mrcricket1932 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wasn't planning to answer this, so I read thru all the answers. Wow! can't beat the answer given by "mellow" !! rite on !!
2006-08-15 22:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKE HER AND SOME HORNY BOOKS AND TAKE OFF FOR 5 DAYS------DON'T TELL HER MAKE I A BIG SURPRISE-----OH AND DON'T FORGET TO EXERCISE YOUR TONGUE---TEEHEE
AB
2006-08-14 22:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by alice b 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get over yourself, moron.
2006-08-08 15:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by urewierdandimnot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋