I'm 26 and insecure b/c I haven't had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or had sex with a girl. I get very nervous around attractive girls. However, I was a virgin until 23 when I met a guy online just to lose my virginity. I was w/ a guy b/c I didn't expect to be w/ a girl anytime soon. I've been w/ several guys since then, all met online. I fantasize and am attracted to girls, but cannot get with girls. The only people that seem to want me are the guys I meet online. Sometime when I was 6-8 yrs old, my grandfather groped my crotch once. My grandmother saw and told me to never tell my parents, which I still haven't b/c my grandfather passed and it's a small issue. I remember being a sexual person even before this incident. I used to hang out with mostly girls and play with dolls b/c I wanted to be close to girl friends. Only after an adult counselor chided me did I start to hang out with guys only and become closed off to females.
I don't know what to do with my situation.
2006-08-08 08:06:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm 26 male and I do have some confidence issues.
2006-08-08 08:09:40 · update #1
Hmmmmmm, maybe you're bisexual... Talk to a friend or someone close about it!
2006-08-08 08:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by M☆mma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, get some counseling about what your grandfather did to you. That's been known to cause people to desire sex all the time or avoid it like the plague. Odds are you're bisexual. Once you get over you molestation issues work on comming to terms with your sexuality and building up some confidecne. The fact that you were able to come out about this to others here is a good start, now follow the steps above and move forward with your life. Good luck, and there's always people out here to help and support you.
2006-08-08 15:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, like some of the other posters here, I would encourage you to talk to a counselor. Don't beat around the bush. When you get in the office, tell him or her exactly what is bothering you. I personally don't read one sentence in your post where you say you are attracted to men -- not one. Still, you reach out to men to satifsy yourself sexually because women are essentially unavailable to you. I doubt very much you are gay since you seem to have an attraction to women. You could be bi but that is for you to decide after talking to your counselor and thinking everything over. I will tell you something point blank: there are many guys who self-identify with gays because they just plain know that's what they are too. There are also many guys who self-identify with bi men becasue they flat out know they are attracted to both sexes. But do you know what? There are men who have sex with other men just to have some sexual release -- and they still self-identify as straight. The best thing for you to do is get to a good counselor who understands these issues and who you can talk to openly about sexual orientation. Good luck now, buddy.
2006-08-08 15:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't think anyone out here is going to be able to give you the help you need. You are having idintiy problems based off of your past. These are issue only a qualified medical professional can help you with. Go talk to one and visit them regularly.
I will say this. If you enjoyed being with the men you have been with keep exploring that avenue. If you really want to meet a gurl, the get online just as you did before to meet guys, and meet a woman.
2006-08-08 15:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. You do have confidence issues and it's sad that you do. Since none of us know you or what you look like it's hard to go about encouraging you in the areas that you are so insecure about. If you are attracted to girls then I do not think that you should be with man just for the sake of being with someone. This isn't fair to you or the man that you are sleeping with. I think you should focus on your insecurities and self-confidence before you attempt to have a relationship. Just my opinion, though! Good luck!
2006-08-08 15:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you fantasize about females and that you're attracted to them, so you're not gay (according to some gay people I've heard).
Everyone is sexual to some degree as children.
There's nothing wrong with having close girl friends, no matter what your counselor told you.
I'd tell your parents about the thing with your grandpa. Your grandma was wrong, and so was he. I think you have issues that this incident caused.
The best way to get laid by a woman is to be familiar to her. Also, lots of chicks would love to get a "gay" guy to go straight and be his first. Think about that one.
Vag-na beats an-s any day.
2006-08-08 15:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by Baxter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried to get girls ?
or do you not have confidence at all?
you need to find a way to build comfidence
i'm sure there is no reason a girl would not want you
i think what you grandfather did affected you more than you relize
made you feel like you had to be with men in some way
iwill pray for God to give you confidence and send you the right girl
2006-08-08 15:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by dawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im praying for you right now. Your story bruoght tears to my eyes. I'm sorry you had to go though that. I really think that you need to stop dealing with males and thinking about females all toghter because you have some issues that need to be straited out first. I dont know if you believe in god or not but there IS ONE! Ask him what to do and he will lead you. Leave the guys alone, and pray to Jesus. I just prayed for you....God bless you!
2006-08-08 15:19:28 · answer #8 · answered by lempala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should go back to a counselor to discuss this some more?? being groped as a child is not a "small issue"... it could be contributing to your problems now. do you have friends who are girls?? maybe you could ask them what it is about you that maybe make women not attracted to you?? and i would stop being with a guy "just to be with someone"... your situation is quite complicated and i'd definitely advise to you go back to a counselor for professional help.
i hope that everything works out for you
2006-08-08 15:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lady D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you need counseling.
As far as being with women - are you being too picky? Also - why don't you try hitting on some fag hags? You probably run in to them more than you know. Of all women they would probably be the most understanding of you - unless we were talking about bi women.
Do some affirmations!
2006-08-08 15:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just want to say, just be waht you want to be.
if you commfortable having sex with a guy so do it, but if you still like girls and you want have sex with her, so find that girl.
i really do think that people have their own couple, it's may take time honey.
but once again if you more commfortable having sex with a guy, so just live your live.
if you still don't know what to do just go conseling or talk to your trusted friend
2006-08-08 15:31:16 · answer #11 · answered by catlovers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋