She's a college student who will be 20 yrs old in Nov and she's still a freshman. She loves to hip hop dance and is always talking about it. But she never focuses on reality. Like actually going to class or getting a job. School is starting up again and she's transferring to a community college this semester. The only thing she's worried about is trying to get some money to pay for some new shoes and go to Chris Brown's concert TWICE while he's here. She's my friend but how can I help her snap out of fantasy and see that sometimes you have to focus on important things.
2006-08-08 07:57:01 · 20 answers · asked by lilkitt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This sounds like a hard situation. I think it's nice that you are so concerned for your friend.
It sounds like your friend has perhaps had a pretty easy life so far and doesn't have to worry too much about money, for example. After all, if she's 20 and a freshman and doesn't have a job, it sounds like somebody else has been paying for school, allowing her to play around a little more. Many people go through a "growing up" period at that age. Unfortunately, some people have to hit rock bottom, so to speak, before they get with it enough to take charge of their lives and start thinking about the future. I hope this doesn't have to happen for your friend, and I gather that you don't either.
However, until she's ready, there's little you can do to help her realize what's going to happen. As her friend, you can simply tell her that you're concerned and what you think the consequences of her lifestyle will be. Something like, "Hey, Jane, I've been worried about you because it seems like you don't focus too much on school. I'm worried that you might end up failing classes this semester. You could get kicked out of your major program and lose your money. What can I do to help you get more on track with school?"
After informing her of the potential consequences of her decisions and offering to help her make plans, there's not much else you can do about the way she chooses to live her life. Whatever you do, though, don't enable her by lending her money or paying rent for her or anything like that. A true friend will try to help her get more independence and maturity, not postpone it.
Also, I hope you'll be enough of a friend to be around to help her make new decisions when something does go wrong. After all, failing a couple of classes in college isn't the end of the world if the person learns a lesson and learns that you reap what you sow, as it were. (Don't ask me how I know.) Perhaps having to pay for her own education would help her to appreciate it better. As her friend, you can be there when something goes wrong to help her see that there are still options for education, money, and her future.
2006-08-08 08:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damnz I dont know but you really need to help her snap into action. I say you practice with her so you and her get one anothersmoves and feel good dancing with another. About snaping her into reality is hard cause I have a lot of friends like that but they cool like that anyways dont you think?
Peace
Aldo
2006-08-08 15:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by {~Aldo~} 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, reality will hit in her butt sooner or later. Just make sure you stay on task and don't let her rub off on you!!! When people finally get out of their twenties, they eventually settle down. For right now I know you love your friend, but keep her in your prayers and keep doing the right thing on your part. Notice, some people will never get a clue!!!!!
2006-08-08 15:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by twilight1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Tell her that you understand that this is her dream but she should focus on school so she can have something to fall back on. Don't sound so demanding sound like you really care and let her know that a true friend will tell her the truth so she wouldn't fall on her face and have nothing like to pick her back up.
2006-08-08 15:02:59 · answer #4 · answered by dadyslilgirl5377 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people never grow up. I would just be her friend and try not to be influenced by her. Sounds like her parents allow this kind of behavior. They should kick her out so she learns some lessons about money.
2006-08-08 15:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by adrixia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. Hopefully she'll get it together, but she is only 20, this is expected behavior I suppose. Some of us are more mature, and just becase we consider ourselves mature doesnt mean anything really. If shes not asking you to do her assignments, or begging for your cash butt OUT!
2006-08-08 15:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Record some of your conversations and play them back for her. I'll bet she won't believe some of the things she says. Good luck.
2006-08-08 15:01:21 · answer #7 · answered by Joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What if she's really good and ends up making a living dancing?
2006-08-08 15:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by DomC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to go through this experience I guess, Only she can wake herself from the dream.
2006-08-08 15:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by Shade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have to learn for herself, but you are a good friend for trying to help. JUst be there for her as much as you can.
2006-08-08 15:02:07 · answer #10 · answered by cricket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋