crying baby?

Question

my baby cries any time she is not sleeping or eating she is 4 months old the only way i can get her to stop is by caring her facing out so she can see. is this normal?
my doctor said she has a bad temper and may be a little spoiled because we give her what she wants.
im trying to break her of this but im not sure how she will not take a pacifer so i have no other way of soothing her

Answer 1

Hugs mama. I know how hard it can be to hear our little ones crying and not know what to do. Babies have a way of telling us what they need. She may just need stimulation and be at the stage she needs to see things in the world. Another possibility is that she needs to be close to you right now and facing out is what makes her comfortable. Or your movement may be soothing to her. My little guy can get like this at times. I recommend listening to her needs even though it can be hard. If you get that torturous feeling when she cries- it's a natural way of letting us mommies know to do everything possible to find out the needs of our little ones and NOT ignore it.

I highly recommend getting a comfy carrier- sling, wrap, mei tai, pouch to leave you hands free. I wish someone had told me sooner about this! I stumbled across a wonderful site www.thebabywearer.com It has instructions, reviews on carriers, links to hundreds of vendors and an incredible group of helpful momma's on the message board.

I would also suggest finding a new, informed pediatrician to rule out any other causes medical. I also take my little one to an chiropractor trained to work on babies and I love it.

I want to point out that the idea that comforting/holding out babies has nothing to do with spoiling them. Sure, some little ones sit quietly and don't cry much. Maybe they have been taught early on that voicing their needs doesn't work by their parents ignoring their cries. Or maybe they just give up easy or are more content being alone. But just like there are children and adults who need more reasurance, comfort, human touch- there are babies at all ends of the spectrum. Are men spoiling their wives if they are going through a difficult time and need more cuddling, holding, and praise? Are children that are struggling in school spoiled if their parents give them support with praise, guidance, and time?

So many people are quick to tell new parents they are spoiling their babies with love and it is so detrimental. When my children are older, am I going to use this same technique? If anything, all the extra plastic baby sitters that we are innudated with at baby showers are spoiling kids more than mother's and father's arms would. We have a society full of people who want and need more stuff. And it always has to be bigger and better.

I'm not saying that children can't be spoiled. Spoiling has to do with leaving an item untouched on the back of a shelf. So if your preteen wants to see an inappropriate movie- spoiling would be to look the other way and let her see it. NOT spoiling would be to get involved and explore options, give alternatives and reasons. Spoiling babies is the same way. Looking the other way when they cry to teach them only that they can't count on you to always be there for them when they need you. So I will do the opposite and not spoil my child and let them be. Because I will always be there for them, maybe not the way they always want me to be but EVERY SINGLE TIME. They can count on it.

Answer 2

To me, it sounds like your dr is right. She wont be broke of it if you continue to give her what she wants. You need to give her some alone time. Let her sit in a bouncie or swing and play by her self for a while. When she wakes up, let her lay in her bed for a little while. Dont run to her when she makes alittle sound. Just let her be. I am a true believer that a newborn can be spoiled, and your case a 4 month old. Let her cry, it isnt going to kill her. It may do her some good. If she sees that she is going ot get her way, she will cry til she does. At first it may be hard to let her cry, but again, she isnt duying. Your dr isnt there to be a prick, he is calling it like he sees it. I would rather him tell me the truth and it hurt alittle then to lie or say he dont know. Dont always give her what she wants. That spoiles children.. I have a 3.5 year old, and I let him cry it out and you know he is the most pleasent child you would ever want to meet, because he knows mommy isnt going to give him what ever he wants...

Answer 3

YOU CAN NOT SPOIL AN INFANT!!. she is young and needs her parents to be comforted! I would say that your baby sounds like she may have higher needs but not a bad temper. I am sure she is a lovely beautiful baby! I would ditch the pedrician and get another one with a more optimistic outlook!

also read dr sears fussy/high need baby book. This will help you understand the personality of your baby, which by the way you can NOT change! My baby was the same way. After I ruled out a possibility of pain, distress, allergy to milk or formula. I then lerned how to help bring the best out in the personality of my baby!

If breaking her of this means crying it out, you may find that your baby is persistent and strong-willed this technique WILL NOT WORK!

As hard as it is carrying your baby as long a you can, i had to sling carry my baby for naps and during the day (yes this is not my ideal situation and was not my fav thing to be doing) but thenagain its not about me. as a parent i will do anything my baby needs. this stage is short lived and then around 5 mos they get curiosus about the world and then that takes over..slowly but surely they will move out on their own and t hose days will be behind you.

my baby is 12 mos and likes to be carried alot still but he is quite the explorer and VERY confindent and bonded to us! There is a trust level that has been established because I took care of his needs early on!

Answer 4

Babies before the age of 6 months should not be allowed to cry it out because they suck in more air and cause stomach pain. They can not move around enough to cause a burp and rely on you to burp them. Everyone makes the mistakes with the first baby... they hold it too much even when it is sleeping then suddenly when they decide its time to put it down the baby has grown use to it and doesnt want down. You live and learn. Try using an exersaucer , vibrating boucy seat or baby gym with lights to keep her occupied. Also have you tried a baby swing ? They work wonders.

Answer 5

She is 4 months old - geesh I didn't realize baby's could be diagnosed with a bad temper at that age....
Sounds like she wants to make sure you haven't left her. Get her a soft, cuddly bear to be her friend. She'll probably slobber all over it and will love it! Just sounds like a bit of insecurity by not seeing you. When you walk away from her make sure you talk to her, let her know that you are right there, you aren't going anywhere, you won't leave her, etc. Baby's are usually soothed by just the sound of Mama's voice.

Answer 6

No, she isn't spoiled. You can't spoil a baby by taking care of her needs at *any* age.

It sounds like your daughter is *bored*. A baby who is bored will be grumpy and cry. She has no other way to tell you that there's a problem!!

Try taking her to a supermarket--especially the produce department. Many babies like seeing the bright colors. They also like meeting new people.

Another thing you could try is taking her to a playground when there are a lot of older kids around. Sometimes seeing children swinging and sliding entertains babies, too.

Answer 7

She is WAY too young to be spoiled. That's just ridiculous! She is also WAY too young to know how to manipulate you, so she IS crying for some reason...tummy ache, food allergy, something like that. She may just want to feel close to you.

I wouldn't listen to anyone that said you were spoling her that young!

As for the crying...try some gas drops ... they will not hurt the baby and it couldn't hurt!

It's not "normal" for a baby to cry all the time like that. Colic is usually at certain times of the day, so I would find another pediatrician!

Answer 8

Garnet's I just like the sould/blues sound I'm afraid JJ did not anything for me ever. Quite plenty with Baby Baby face - Little Richard I Know My little one cares - Bob Luman What's The Matter Baby (is it hurting you ) Timi Yuro

Answer 9

Sounds to me like you need a new doctor! She is 4 months old, she CANNOT be spoiled. Sounds more to me that she might have colic. I suggest trying to find a new pediatrician then ask about switching the baby to soy formula. This worked for my son & my youngest daughter. Please don't think that you can spoil your baby at 4 months old, give her as much attention as she needs it is very good for her development.

Answer 10

Wow! Doctors are so different. When I had my kids, the doctor told me it wasn't possible to spoil a child so young. I suggest you consult with another doctor to make sure that there is nothing wrong other than a bad temper (such as colic - I'm not trying to scare you . . . sorry!).